Overcoming possible 'Impostor Syndrome' (parent, adult)

[iSudo]

Hi there,

Perusing the various forums that are listed, and I am wondering if this might be a good spot to post a topic that's been occupying my mind lately.

I've always felt insecure about my work life. And while I have insecurities about various things, my work life has always been a very touchy subject. I feel like I'm generally well-liked, that my performance is good enough in most cases, but I always struggle with feeling respected and appreciated. I also always feel like I'm on the chopping block. I've read into this before that it can be attributed to 'Impostor Syndrome'. I guess what I'd like to figure out is how to be more confident and assured that I will be okay, that my manager isn't talking about me behind my back, and I'm not about to be canned.

What are some healthy, mental coping mechanisms you've developed to feel confident in your work life?

[atltechdude]

Originally Posted by iSudo

Hi there,

Perusing the various forums that are listed, and I am wondering if this might be a good spot to post a topic that's been occupying my mind lately.

I've always felt insecure about my work life. And while I have insecurities about various things, my work life has always been a very touchy subject. I feel like I'm generally well-liked, that my performance is good enough in most cases, but I always struggle with feeling respected and appreciated. I also always feel like I'm on the chopping block. I've read into this before that it can be attributed to 'Impostor Syndrome'. I guess what I'd like to figure out is how to be more confident and assured that I will be okay, that my manager isn't talking about me behind my back, and I'm not about to be canned.

What are some healthy, mental coping mechanisms you've developed to feel confident in your work life?

I would say the solution to this is to practice non-reactive acceptance to whatever your situation is.

Let's take a hypothetical, let's say your manager is talking about you behind your back. Would that bother you?

Let's say you do get canned, would you have a mental breakdown?

If the answer is yes, the you project weakness toward others, which earns you less respect.

I think the key to confidence at work is to get to a place where you honestly wouldn't care about such things, because if they were to happen, you would realize that place is probably not where you want to be working anyway.

When you have a DGAF attitude toward these kinds of things, and you show up to work ready to kick ass regardless of the personal work politics situation you are in, you generally get more respect in my experience.

I would add that having enough $ in savings that you can survive for at least a few months if you were to lose your job is key as well. When you are dependent on a paycheck for your survival next week, it feels like your superiors at work have a lot more power over you then when you have more control over at least your near future destiny.

[Lodestar]

This is a frequent problem for adult children of an alcoholic or drug dependent parent. If that applies to you there is an abundance of ideas addressing it in ACOA literature.

[iSudo]

Originally Posted by Lodestar

This is a frequent problem for adult children of an alcoholic or drug dependent parent. If that applies to you there is an abundance of ideas addressing it in ACOA literature.

No, it does not.

[silibran]

The only advice I can give is to walk the walk. With continuing success, you’ll become more confident.