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How can a man feel good about himself if he is unattractive to women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sno0909
Get attractive. Hit the gym. Dress nice. Walk around with confidence. You're already digging yourself a hole by your negative outlook.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Lack of acceptance and loneliness is awful. The white washing business is a secondary attempt to fix things in my opinion
Do the best you can, whatever you do.
I always felt unattractive to women. I was often lonely too. But things changed eventually. I took care of my health and it paid off. I also learned how to be charming. It wasn't easy - I started out with Asperger's. I eventually learned to use it to my advantage. It wasn't easy though. Also, discovering what my problem was helped me to understand and accept myself for what I was. I learned what meager 'attractive' qualities I thought I had and I worked on those.
So hit that gym! I don't have the best body shape but women still admire my strength, as slender as I am.
How can a man feel good about himself if he is unattractive to women
Well women have the same problem. Same advice usually gets passed out, be better at other things. People like someone with a sense of humor, that can go a long way. Be good at something, a sport, hobby or profession. Doesn't really help that feeling I know but it can mitigate things and help find a partner. Minor plastic surgery maybe for things like acne scars or conditions like excessive sweating.
And if you are a competent genuinely nice person an unattractive man can find a good life partner easier than an unattractive woman.
Don't depend on women to provide your sense of self worth in the first place. Excel at your profession, your recreations, your own interests. Get involved with worthy causes that benefit others. You can not only meet women who have that interest in common, but they may well like and respect you for your involvement and you could end up with the meaningful relationship you want. That has nothing to do with physical attraction. Isn't that what's more important anyway?
Like others, I am going to point to this thread.
No just men looking to women for validation, but women looking to men, women looking to other women, men looking to other men... any of that will make you miserable because it's out of your control and you are focused on what others think about you.
I was a nerd in my freshman year in high school, once I learned to not care what anyone else though (girls, guys, the popular kids, parents, etc) I was happy. A few times bullies tried to "pick on the weakling" but it didn't work, because I didn't care what they said about me either. I was happy in my own skin. And you know what, being happy in my own skin not only brought me happiness, but it made me a more confident person who appealed to others (not just the opposite sex although it worked there too). By the time I was a senior, I was actually a bit popular, but I didn't care (and I didn't look down on those who were considered unpopular nor up to those who were considered the elite kids of the school. I treated everyone equally and equally didn't care if they liked me or not... but they did with the exception of a few individuals).
It's not an easy thing to do and I was lucky enough to figure this out when I was a teenager. I think the older one gets and the more set in one's ways, the harder it is to change. But that's what a man needs to do if he's using others to validate himself. He needs to figuratively stand on his own and be happy with himself. And I will add, if you need to find help to do this, there is no shame in that either. My grandparents were instrumental in telling me this stuff. You need to eventually stand on your own, that doesn't mean you turn away people who try to help you get to that point of standing on your own.
How can a woman feel good about herself, if she's unattractive to men? There's more to life than attracting a mate, though I'll grant you that's kind of a biggie, in the list of priorities. Gather some good friends around you, and devote time to developing your other interests. What other option do you have?
Why do people always think it's easy to "gather good friends"? Especially as an adult.
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