Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wonder what are some of the most painful/hurtful experiences people have been through (if you don't want to share details, just be vague)? Was this experience due to:
1. your own mistake or fault
2. someone inflicted this on you (purposefully or otherwise)
3. God/universe/cosmos
Are you healed now? If yes, how long it took to heal or to forgive?
1. My divorce from my first husband. He wanted the divorce. I did not. I think I'm better off without him NOW though. I'm remarried, and very happy. The older I get, the more I can see where we BOTH could've done things differently, but really...I should not have married him at all.
2. Giving up my baby boy for adoption. Completely my fault.
I wonder what are some of the most painful/hurtful experiences people have been through (if you don't want to share details, just be vague)? Was this experience due to:
1. your own mistake or fault
2. someone inflicted this on you (purposefully or otherwise)
3. God/universe/cosmos
Are you healed now? If yes, how long it took to heal or to forgive?
Honestly, I can’t think of anything. I guess that’s a good thing!
My father and srep-father and mother all diagnosed with cancer and dying at the same time. I know it sounds stupid, but my Basset hound died same year as everyone else.
Probably #2 compared to the wife i loved leaving at #1.
At work: when I took over A/P and A/R for co-worker's department and found out the accounting was a huge mess and was losing money. I made a lot of suggestions, including casually suggesting her to re-consider keeping her 2 employees.
After that, I discovered she stopped speaking to everyone in my department (We have a small business, so each department is only 2-3 people). When she ordered takeout, it was only for her and her 2 employees. When she went out to lunch, she only invited those 2 employees. When we went to company lunch, she stopped offering to pay.
This was NOT normal behavior. We're a small biz we always include everyone because that's the nice thing to do, so this 180 in co-worker's behavior was very noticeable. Her rejecting us socially, giving us the silent treatment if it wasn't about work, her only buying lunch for her 2 employees, was extremely noticeable and HURTFUL. It hurt like a mofo to be excluded.
All my other co-workers didn't change their behavior; they acted like they always do. I guess they're really nice people. This went on for 7 months, and *I* couldn't take it anymore, and it hurt so bad every day. So I started avoiding her, walking away when she came near me, stepping out of the way. You bet she hated MY change in behavior too. Then she started doing the same thing to me.
Her 2 employees quit in the middle of this, so she had no choice but to start speaking to us socially again. Over time, she slowly started speaking to my other co-workers because they never treated her differently. But she never spoke to me socially again. This was about 2 years ago and we still don't speak to each other socially today, only about work. And she is a VERY talkative person, so for her to speak to them but not me is very noticeable. And yes, I've started conversations with her, but she only responds because she's being polite. It's noticeable. So I stopped trying.
Over time, I mostly accepted our current relationship. She's also a very rude person, and even though her rudeness isn't directed towards me, sometimes I do take it personally. Such as just yesterday after work, right when I walked past her car, I heard the beep of her disarming her car alarm with her key. I swear she did that at THAT moment just because I was walking next to it. Or when she uses a derogatory word to describe Americans (she's an immigrant), she has the gumption to use it when she knows I, as an American, can hear her; I can't tell if she's just being rude, though I do take it personally. I sure as hell don't use any derogatory words to describe immigrants when I know she can hear me.
I do feel like it was my fault because I'm the one who made all those suggestions that she hated; that's why when she started excluding everyone in my department, I felt so hurt. If someone else caused this, I wouldn't feel so hurt because I would know it wasn't my fault.
But I don't forgive, and neither does she, as evidenced by our relationship today.
I grew up as a Jehovahs Witness. It made my life miserable because I never believed it, but I was forced to attend meetings each week, go door to door on the weekends handing out the Watchtower and Awake magazines. I was forced to get baptized when I was 13 even though I didn't believe. Didn't matter, everybody else in the family were firm believers.
I finally got disfellowshipped at 18 and was kicked out of my home. Painful at the time, but the best thing that could have happened. I moved in with a good friend and started my "real" life. I still feel trauma to this day, but with a loving wife, her wonderful family and a few very good friends, I have survived and even thrived.
A brutal rape and severe beating. #2... I certainly didn’t bring it upon myself. Pretty much over it, but certain sounds or smells can bring a momentary flash back.
It would take a week of typing. There hasn't been a "worst", they've all been too different. I don't see the point of ranking catastrophes or trying to compare my degree of misery to anyone else's. Suffice it to say you either learn to survive such events or you don't.
I wonder what are some of the most painful/hurtful experiences people have been through (if you don't want to share details, just be vague)? Was this experience due to:
1. your own mistake or fault
2. someone inflicted this on you (purposefully or otherwise)
3. God/universe/cosmos
Are you healed now? If yes, how long it took to heal or to forgive?
I will only answer the questions portions:
Am I healed now? : Nope!
If yes How long it took to heal or to forgive: It is a daily task to heal and forgive.
Curious what happens when ONE is actually healed? I'll spend my entire life with my disease....it wont be healed ...Its manageable though.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
