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I overheard one of my coworkers yesterday saying how I am boring when she was talking to another coworker. She said that I am too quiet. I work in a cafe. I work back in the kitchen with two other people. I work with a girl and another boy. The boy is very talkative and has a good personality. The girl and him talk a lot. I will talk and say something when I feel I can add something to the conversation.
However, the boy leaves earlier than us, and when it is just us two it's quiet. I have Social Anxiety and I am a very quiet person in general. I do better with group interactions as opposed to 1 on 1.
I don't really have any hobbies besides YouTube, Reddit, and surfing the internet. I don't have a whole lot of interests. My coworkers try to get to know me a little bit, and I don't really have anything to say because I don't really do anything outside of work. They ask me what are my hobbies, what kind of movies do I like, etc.
It hurt when she said that I was boring. She said that Darren (The other coworker) makes the job more enjoyable.
This isn't the first time I've been told that I was boring.
How can I be a more interesting/exciting person?
I'm going to answer this, it's very simple, and you don't have to change or become an extrovert super flamboyant type person.
One, find one activity to do that is outside work and home. It must have people around that you can do things with. I suggest a church to start. Visit some churches and find one that is friendly and has people like you (single?) your age. Sign up for a church study/activity group that interests you.
The idea is get into something that interests you that you don't do alone.
Second, simply offer invitations for simple get-togethers. Like come over tonight and order take-out and watch tv. That simple. And do this with anyone that you like around you. They become new friends. Repeat with others. Once you get this going, organically you'll start to come up with more interesting new things to do with them, like take a day trip. Go do this/that.
Guess what, you just became a more interesting person. That simple: 1. find a group activity you enojy that includes others. 2. offer invitations for causal get-togethers.
The key is doing things, anything, with others. That's what makes an interesting person.
I overheard one of my coworkers yesterday saying how I am boring when she was talking to another coworker. She said that I am too quiet. I work in a cafe. I work back in the kitchen with two other people. I work with a girl and another boy. The boy is very talkative and has a good personality. The girl and him talk a lot. I will talk and say something when I feel I can add something to the conversation.
However, the boy leaves earlier than us, and when it is just us two it's quiet. I have Social Anxiety and I am a very quiet person in general. I do better with group interactions as opposed to 1 on 1.
I don't really have any hobbies besides YouTube, Reddit, and surfing the internet. I don't have a whole lot of interests. My coworkers try to get to know me a little bit, and I don't really have anything to say because I don't really do anything outside of work. They ask me what are my hobbies, what kind of movies do I like, etc.
It hurt when she said that I was boring. She said that Darren (The other coworker) makes the job more enjoyable.
This isn't the first time I've been told that I was boring.
How can I be a more interesting/exciting person?
I do think you should make an effort to initiate conversation -- not just be passive and contribute to what someone else is saying. Try to gage from your co-worker what topics seem to be of interest. Do you stay on top of current news events, sports, popular shows on netflix? Ask their opinion of the show, the game, etc.
Let them know what you think. Ask what they like to watch.
I don't know much about YouTube-- but do you watch concerts? If so, bring it up for conversation. Ask what kind of music your co-workers like. What concerts have they been to.
Do you cook? Tell them something you made over the weekend and how it turned out. Ask if they like to cook, what are their favorite things to cook or eat.
When I was younger I was also somewhat boring because I didn't make much of an effort at conversation. I have since learned sometimes it's the simpliest things that can get the ball rolling. I observed a friend of mine who was very good conversationalist. She would just notice things such as a painting on a wall and asking a stranger what they thought of it.
As someone stated, ask questions -- how was their weekend, what did they do, how did they like it.
I would encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and just try doing things -- even if you just go hiking somewhere for the day and then have something to talk about when you come into work.
You don't have to be someone you are not, but if you want to be an interesting person you need to try to find a way to connect with people.
OP, it's not your responsibility to provide entertainment during this job for your co-worker. Your only responsibility is to do a good job performing your job tasks. People who expect co-workers to entertain them at work are the people who are boring and misguided.
I agree with texan2yankee - do not take your co-worker's rude comment to heart.
You're at work to provide a service for your employer, not to entertain co-workers or to try to be an entertaining person or even an interesting person.
Jobs where one is expected by co-workers to provide conversation and entertainment while performing job tasks are the worst.
Location: Unlike most on CD, I'm not afraid to give my location: Milwaukee, WI.
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Just be who and what you are, man. You are under no obligation to be interesting to your co-workers or anyone else. Do (or don't do) what you like, and don't worry about the opinions of others. I cannot stress this enough.
People love to talk about themselves. Ask the other person questions about their likes, dislikes, future plans, etc., and let them talk. Most likely you will find that you have something in common, and can base future conversations on that.
OP, it's not your responsibility to provide entertainment during this job for your co-worker. Your only responsibility is to do a good job performing your job tasks. People who expect co-workers to entertain them at work are the people who are boring and misguided.
I agree with texan2yankee - do not take your co-worker's rude comment to heart.
You're at work to provide a service for your employer, not to entertain co-workers or to try to be an entertaining person or even an interesting person.
Jobs where one is expected by co-workers to provide conversation and entertainment while performing job tasks are the worst.
But he's heard this comment from other people as well. And he wants to change.
I overheard one of my coworkers yesterday saying how I am boring when she was talking to another coworker. She said that I am too quiet. I work in a cafe. I work back in the kitchen with two other people. I work with a girl and another boy. The boy is very talkative and has a good personality. The girl and him talk a lot. I will talk and say something when I feel I can add something to the conversation.
However, the boy leaves earlier than us, and when it is just us two it's quiet. I have Social Anxiety and I am a very quiet person in general. I do better with group interactions as opposed to 1 on 1.
I don't really have any hobbies besides YouTube, Reddit, and surfing the internet. I don't have a whole lot of interests. My coworkers try to get to know me a little bit, and I don't really have anything to say because I don't really do anything outside of work. They ask me what are my hobbies, what kind of movies do I like, etc.
It hurt when she said that I was boring. She said that Darren (The other coworker) makes the job more enjoyable.
This isn't the first time I've been told that I was boring.
How can I be a more interesting/exciting person?
Are you too quiet, possible. But maybe she talks too much! Did you ever think of that? Just because others feel the need to constantly talk while working, not everyone does. You already said you talk when you want to chime on the conversation. That's fine. You're there to do a job, not entertain them. There is nothing wrong with being a quiet person. When too many people are talking, nobody is listening. IE:
Take a look at the House & Senate. Both sides are constantly shouting at each other. Hardly anything gets done, because they aren't listening to each other. If they'd follow the wise monkeys more would get done. lol
Being a quiet person is fine. You're not the only person who does better in groups. Unless I really know someone, I'm quieter around other people. Even in groups, I tend to be the quieter of the group.
It's no big deal. In fact it's usually a good thing. Since I don't talk much, people listen to me when I do.
IE: When I was in high school and college we would have free class debates, current events, etc. The teacher/instructor(s) would ask about events going on, and the students would discuss them. Often the "talkative" students were talking about anything they could. The teacher/instructor(s) would nod, smile, and roll their eyes. Because those students were parroting other peoples opinions. After listening for several minutes, I would chime in. I would question their opinions, and engage the debates. Listening to what was more important than trying to out talk the other guy. This made my opinions worth more, and people listened to what I had to say.
Being a listener more than a talker has served me well. 2 to 1 (2 ears to 1 mouth) = Listen more.
As for hobbies, that's on you.
Quote:
YouTube, Reddit, and surfing the internet.
Nothing wrong with that, but it's nice to try new things. Perhaps you could learn how to build webpages. There's always room to add content to Youtube. IE: If you enjoy parks, film your trips to parks. Like eating out, review the places you go, etc.
Whatever you try it's up to you. Do what makes you happy.
People love to talk about themselves. Ask the other person questions about their likes, dislikes, future plans, etc., and let them talk. Most likely you will find that you have something in common, and can base future conversations on that.
This has been my experience. No matter how fascinating YOUR life is, or was, people just wanna talk about themselves.
Unless you are a dominant personality willing to interrupt and talk over others.
I've had quite an interesting life but no one wants to hear about it. So I just ask people about themselves and no, they don't return the favor. So, just keep asking whoever about themselves, but in a general, not probing way.
My husband gave me the nicest compliment the other day. This is not to brag, but to encourage others who think they are boring (as I do myself) to look at themselves in a different way.
What he told me -- and we have been together 35 years now -- is that I am the kind of person who make other people interesting because I am interested in them, that I know how to ask questions about them or their work or their interests or opinions -- and that is because I genuinely want to learn about them. He said that it doesn't matter what 'kind' of person I was with, young or old, rich or poor, well-educated or not -- that I had the knack of making other people feel interesting and important, and that was a wonderful trait to have and one that most people lack.
Again, I am not saying that to brag, but just to point out that by your "boringness" (if true), you might also have another valuable trait instead!
P.S. In the interest of being completely self-honest, however, I did develop that trait out of self-preservation. I learned that if I could get other people to talk about themselves, then I wouldn't have to talk so much, which I didn't -- and still don't -- like to do in person because I am too self-conscious. (I certainly don't have a problem writing about myself, though, lol!)
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