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I can relate to 5 and 6 despite the fact that I grew up with cousins who were female. I cannot relate or find much interest in women generally.
I get your reasoning but It's probably deeper than that. Some guys just aren't compatible with the opposite sex. I would love a compromise between a tomboy in the mind and femininity on the outside. That girl I would marry. You just don't get those mixes very often however. Guys like us just struggle and see no point in it all.
One of my friends is probably just that--tomboy in the mind and femininity on the outside. She's a recently graduated computer science major and aspiring game developer. Most of her free time is spent with World of Warcraft and playing cards, Yu-gi-oh, etc. Most of her friends are guys, and you never see her with any makeup, jewelry, hair styling, painted nails, etc. You always see her in unisex hoodies, T-shirts, jeans, or sweatpants.
Despite being very low maintenance, she's very good looking, has a very round, feminine face and has shoulder length hair. She even says that while she hates makeup, she likes wearing dresses and skirts (although she almost always wears pants). I even saw her carrying her sister's purse once.
I even told her I had a crush on her. She seemed fine with that, but we agreed that it was best for us to stay just friends, especially since she didn't have romantic feelings towards me. However, she said she did like guys and not girls, and was straight. The fact that she has the same monotone, mumbling voice, sloppy appearance, lack of eye contact, and the same jerky movements as a lot of autistic guys I know makes me think she has Asperger's, and makes her even more attractive. As an engineering major myself, I'm surrounded by nerds, but I haven't met another engineering or computer science major with the same Aspie symptoms as her.
I took lower division courses at a community college in Orange County, then completed a Bachelors in Electrical Engineering at UC Davis just this year.
I thought that since 80% of Electrical Engineering majors are men, the girls in this field would be tomboys. But I was wrong. The girls in my classes were just as feminine, sociable, and outgoing as women in any other field, except for this one CompSci major that I met in math class, but she likely had Asperger's, and most girls with Asperger's are tomboys.
Tomboys, IMO, are girls (under the age of 18), who are athletic and play sports. When girls grow up, they are women. There are no women tomboys, since a "boy" is a kid.
A more apt description of women who don't wear cosmetics or dress up often is "natural." The women at college who don't wear cosmetics or dress up are probably that way because it's that time of life. They're busy with school and extracurricular activities. They dress to be comfortable, like the guys do.
There are occasions to dress up, wear makeup, do the hair & such. Most women wear some makeup, even when cleaning the car. It's just part of getting dressed.
So, OP, did you go to school with girls?
A lot of your post sounds like excuses. You have to start somewhere. Going to a movie with a woman will not kill you.
A more apt description of women who don't wear cosmetics or dress up often is "natural." The women at college who don't wear cosmetics or dress up are probably that way because it's that time of life. They're busy with school and extracurricular activities. They dress to be comfortable, like the guys do.
But many of my female classmates at college wore makeup and dressed up. Even the ones in engineering.
There are many conclusions that follow assumptions in your post which are false. And it's interesting to me that you assert them so confidently but seem so lost. You're trying to rationalize and intellectualize your feelings, trying to understand your own internal reality. You may be looking for validation in this forum, but I don't think many would find your post very rational. Your lead in this post is "Conservative, religious and straight", this is diagnostic to your issues, and these are not friendly concepts to someone that may have some sexuality confusion. You obviously have a predilection for the company of men and most likely, the physicality of men. You refer to women as "girly", prefer "tomboys", consider marriage to a woman "a disaster", and it's "too much work" to figure out women, etc. This may all change as you mature but on the other hand, you're not 16 and the guts of who you are won't change much at this point in your life. Don't panic and don't run, get some talk therapy, try and find out where YOUR truth lies, no one else can do that for you, and certainly not this forum. It's far better to find yourself now, than 20 years from now when you've wasted your young fun romantic years trying to be someone you're not. It's better to embrace who you are, to be authentic to yourself, and enjoy others like you're meant to. Don't ignore the goodness within you, and turn it into something else that may be dark and depressing. You've obviously been indoctrinated to a certain creed in life, we all have been, but learn to engage in critical thinking, and test out all the assumptions you are making and honestly ask yourself if the material in your post is really the issue at hand. The time and effort in doing so will not be in vain.
So you are trying to further the stereotype that guys are led by their private parts and will just be compromised by any willing woman? Ha. I’ve had women “come along” and I still remained the same bada$& I’ve always been. Sorry others don’t have this control.
Not furthering a stereotype buddy, just sharing a story.
And you damn right I compromised at the first girl who expressed interest in me, this is youth for a good percentage of population: awkward interactions and rampant self sabatoge.
At least I'm 'badass' enough to admit that.
As far as the word 'badass'. So far as I can tell the moderators are still human beings who understand what context and intent is. So let your curse flag fly! (Within respectable reason of course.)
Ah, the beauty of being the young and the reckless! Totally implausible situations like this (at least for men who aren't 20%-ers) look and feel totally believable. I don't know how I'd have reacted at age 19. But if woman approached me like that today, I'd have said: either (A) "What the hell is this? Where's the candid camera?" or (B) "No thanks, officer. Have a nice day." Because for most men, such offers of sex come with a big, deadly catch: from dealing with her boyfriend, to registering as a sex offender, to anything in-between.
The 90's was a good decade for everything.
I agree though: if that happened to me now, I'd tuck tail and run. Our post 9/11 country is a frightening place to be a confused youth.
There are many conclusions that follow assumptions in your post which are false. And it's interesting to me that you assert them so confidently but seem so lost. You're trying to rationalize and intellectualize your feelings, trying to understand your own internal reality. You may be looking for validation in this forum, but I don't think many would find your post very rational. Your lead in this post is "Conservative, religious and straight", this is diagnostic to your issues, and these are not friendly concepts to someone that may have some sexuality confusion. You obviously have a predilection for the company of men and most likely, the physicality of men. You refer to women as "girly", prefer "tomboys", consider marriage to a woman "a disaster", and it's "too much work" to figure out women, etc. This may all change as you mature but on the other hand, you're not 16 and the guts of who you are won't change much at this point in your life. Don't panic and don't run, get some talk therapy, try and find out where YOUR truth lies, no one else can do that for you, and certainly not this forum. It's far better to find yourself now, than 20 years from now when you've wasted your young fun romantic years trying to be someone you're not. It's better to embrace who you are, to be authentic to yourself, and enjoy others like you're meant to. Don't ignore the goodness within you, and turn it into something else that may be dark and depressing. You've obviously been indoctrinated to a certain creed in life, we all have been, but learn to engage in critical thinking, and test out all the assumptions you are making and honestly ask yourself if the material in your post is really the issue at hand. The time and effort in doing so will not be in vain.
How many times do I have to say that there are just as many tomboys in religious, conservative circles as there are in secular, liberal circles?
There are plenty of straight guys who prefer tomboys. Otherwise tomboys would have a hard time marrying.
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