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Maybe the OP should get some professional counseling. There may be some suppressed sexual feelings going on here, hence the attraction to "tomboys", with the "religious" roots in his psychological makeup preventing him from realizing it. Many people are not "all in" on their sexuality, and with no experience to speak of, the OP may be more of a blank slate (including being asexual) than he realizes.
And, I'm surprised no one has brought up the "incel" word yet, some of the attituded on women almost border on contempt (apologies if someone did and I missed it).
Not at all. I can speak from experience that while religious conservatives are against lesbianism, they have nothing against tomboys, and that there are just as many tomboys in religious, conservative circles as there are in the secular, liberal world.
I don’t know the OP’s zip code. There are a lot of places where being a religious conservative excludes you from most of the dating pool. If that’s the case, either move or broaden your horizons beyond FOX News.
Born and raised and still live in Southern California.
Born and raised and still live in Southern California.
In this case, the location may play a role. In this more divisive political time, some people are tending to stick/date those who share similar views. If you are a social conservative in a very liberal area then that does make an impact somewhat.
BUT
You need to be able to get out and interact with more women, but at first not in a romantic sense. Don't go out there looking for a girlfriend but find some hobbies and meet people both men and women that way. Whether that be hiking, Bible study, etc. as that will help ease the awkwardness. If you don't have communication skills down then you will struggle at dating most anywhere across the world it doesn't matter if it is Kentucky, California, or Chile.
First off, 50 years ago, I knew quite a few guys in a conservative Catholic neighborhood who were straight carbuffs & all, who rarely if ever dated girls until their mid 20's. I can name a half dozen. Most of them wound up married 5 years later.
The getting married thing often arose precipitously - the one I clearly recall, the kid next door (WASP) almost never dated, but Boom! in two months time, mom (I think) set him up with (previously never heard of) "Gracie" and away he went, ring on finger, never to be seen again. Wallie and Gary did the same thing. Neither one did I ever see even talking to a chick before age 25 or so. By 30, both were married. I can't even tell you where, how, or when. They are still married today.
This old Ozzie & Harriet thing where boys begin chasing chicks all over the place at 16 years of age is not the whole story. Never was. That's TV stuff. In our neighborhood mostly Italian guys were chick chasers before 20 or so (before 14 in many cases). Today you can bump up the ages 5 years or so. See? No mystery.
Born and raised and still live in Southern California.
Especially for men, dating is a skill. One issue that you are facing by not participating in the dating market is your dating skills (the ability to understand why women are doing what they are doing and how to make that work for you) are not improving, while the dating skills of the women you likely would prefer to date are growing. So the longer you stay out of the dating market the more developmentally you fall behind.
So the first thing I would focus on is getting better are locating the type of women you would want to date. Conservative can mean politically conservative, but it could also mean socially conservative in the sexually restrictive sense of the term. If you are looking for women who are politically conservative volunteer on a political campaign, go to Trump Rally's ask out women you are interested in, but again be social and introduce yourself to everyone, because these people will also have daughter's and sisters and friends who they may want to set you up with someone they know.
If you are looking for women who are conservative in the sexually restrictive sense of the term, avoid looking for them on places like tinder where they are not and instead look at places like Church if you are religious, especially the Mega Churches who have single program for people your age. I am not an especially religious person, but my former sister in law was and I took her to Dr Joyce Meyer revival in our community. When the women found out I was single, I had multiple women there suggest we get together for Christian fellowship. These women all were looking to get together with what they assumed was a good Christian guy because they wanted to get married.
If you are not religious and still want to find a sexually restrictive girl. Look for smarter women in more difficult majors.
I agree that the OP should have learned about women from other sources, like book or magazines; even the forum rhyming with "Bread Bill" is better than nothing. But you're forgetting something extremely important: you're a woman! Most women can find a romantic partner with little effort, so in your case, lack of opposite-sex siblings is mostly irrelevant. It may not be the perfect partner, but it's still someone to be with. This is not true for most men.
Women are people. They're not aliens. Just like men are people, even though they think differently than I do and like to do some different things.
You learn about other people by interacting with them on a frequent basis. In school, you learn about people when you participate in band or sports or debate or study groups. At work you learn about people when you work with them, or go to lunch with them. You learn about them when you join exercise groups at the gym, or by joining a walking or biking group. You learn about men and women the same way, although what you learn about them may be different, and the types of things they do vary a bit.
The OP doesn't seem to care much for other people, I think. And that's okay, if he's happy w/that. But he's not, or he wouldn't have done the post.
Add to that the fact that men who don't have partners die younger than those who don't, there's an argument to be made for men needing to have a partner to be fulfilled or happy. This is less so for women.
No one needs to have kids, IMO. The world is overpopulated, as it is. But as he ages, he may feel the lack of presence of children in his life. At holidays, especially. And when he could use a loving child to help care for him or his business affairs when he's nearing the end of his life. It's one thing to live alone when you're young & healthy, and many in that age range are unmarried. It's quite another to be old, ill, and alone in a sea of people with families.
Having sisters helps a guy see females as people, and vice versa. But there are millions of Americans who were only children, and they manage just fine.
I think his regard of women as alien to him is more the product of not interacting with them (maybe voluntarily), rather than not having sisters. And possibly a religious tilt there, since some religions emphasize the differences between males & females, if not outright exaggerating them. And some religions spread the view that females are "less than." So when you're coming from that angle, you're not going to see women for the people they are.
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