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…...But this sort of thing has always been out there, I think. I've mentioned before that I've read the Marquis De Sade's work, written in the late 1700s, which dealt in prurient detail with such nasty subjects. I was interested to note, though, that it could also have been taken as a means to influence public opinion against the upper class (written by a French guy during the Revolution, so...) Whether the elites are truly that nasty, or he was making it up to rouse outrage and hate against them among the populace, in the name of anarchy, or if it was simply demented fap-fic, no one knows......
So my Psy101 instructor comes into class one day, and during his lecture, stops and says:
"Did you hear what happened when the sadist and the masochist got together?
The masochist said, "Beat, me, beat me!"
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And the sadist replied, "Nooooo.""
Thirty-seven years later, I still miss that guy.
The things we learn in school....
So my Psy101 instructor comes into class one day, and during his lecture, stops and says:
"Did you hear what happened when the sadist and the masochist got together?
The masochist said, "Beat, me, beat me!"
/
/
/
/
/
/
And the sadist replied, "Nooooo.""
Thirty-seven years later, I still miss that guy.
The things we learn in school....
A classic.
This little masochist is in it more for the high than any sexual effect. I don't do drugs or drink, the only high I like anymore is my own brain chemicals. But I'm way too lazy to run some marathon for a runner's high, so... I'll let my fella do the work for me.
I'm spoiled rotten, I tell ya.
He's not my Dom, though. Joke of our household. He's only my top, the cat is my Dom. And that of all the other humans in the house, too.
This little masochist is in it more for the high than any sexual effect. I don't do drugs or drink, the only high I like anymore is my own brain chemicals. But I'm way too lazy to run some marathon for a runner's high, so... I'll let my fella do the work for me.
I'm spoiled rotten, I tell ya.
He's not my Dom, though. Joke of our household. He's only my top, the cat is my Dom. And that of all the other humans in the house, too.
***** whipped?
People who have not been exposed to variations in sex are scared spitless and often confused. The seminal book on the subject is the classic "Joy of Sex" and it covers a lot of ground on a basic level. The overriding theme is informed and mutual consent in whatever is being explored.
When women talk about men and paraphilias, I usually remain silent. However, if you look at popular romance literature, women often DO have a very common paraphilia - money and power in a mate. The "bad boy" attractiveness of a powerful male is a turn-on, much to the despair of family court judges. If you want to get right down to the truth of the pornography in "50 Shades" it is not about BDSM but about wealth and how much is acceptable sexual behavior to achieve a partnership and swag from someone who is wealthy. THAT is perversion.
I worked in a mental hospital at an early age, I was manager over theatres in a few cities when "Rocky Horror Picture Show" crews came around, I've had employees who were very open with their peculiarities. My wife was a psychotherapist. I know a lot from hearing different points of view. There is a line, and I watched Rocky Horror crews enforce it to toss abusers and haters and support those who were overwhelmed. The variations in human sexuality are amazing. The restrictions of various cultures on sex is also amazing (and can be even MORE perverse).
As to where some paraphilias originate, there is some strong evidence that a lot can come from dysfunctional parents and shaming and abuse. There is a reason for the axiom that the preacher's kids are the wildest in the class.
As to where some paraphilias originate, there is some strong evidence that a lot can come from dysfunctional parents and shaming and abuse. There is a reason for the axiom that the preacher's kids are the wildest in the class.
True.
Kids are to equate the beatings from their parents as : done out of love. A kid assumes and incorporates that physical harm as love.
I personally didn't find an ounce of joy in bdsm. And I came from a home that "beat ya into submission". So I cannot endorse that behavior in adulthood. Guess some think love is meant to hurt. Bizarre ...
As to the "excitement" from certain outlier behavior...it's the "forbidden" , the tabu. The rebel enjoys and gains a thrill that he/she knows is wrong. They are stuck in that stage and see no reason to examine the truth.
Vanilla was and still remains the most mass produced and consumed ice crm. Something to be said about that
If they don't ACT on their feelings, don't view/consume child porn, don't engage in sexual activity with children, then they're not criminals! They cannot help how they feel.
A long time ago I was taught that the only "normal" and acceptable sexual activity occurred when a married man and woman engage in sexual intercourse missionary style for the purpose of procreation.
All other sexual activity is immoral and deviant.
While this may no longer be the norm then WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE?
a sexual disorder characterized by recurrent intense sexual urges, sexually arousing fantasies, or behavior involving use of a nonhuman object, the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner, or children or other nonconsenting partners. Paraphilias include transvestic fetishism, other types of fetishism, frotteurism, pedophilia, exhibitionism, voyeurism, sexual masochism, and sexual sadism.
My wife and I are polyamous and we like to watch each other have sex with our other partner from time to time. We are into BDSM. So because people like myself and my wife are into not having vanilla sex once a week on Friday night at 9pm when the kids are asleep, we are sexual deviants??? Yeah okay.
People who have not been exposed to variations in sex are scared spitless and often confused. The seminal book on the subject is the classic "Joy of Sex" and it covers a lot of ground on a basic level. The overriding theme is informed and mutual consent in whatever is being explored.
When women talk about men and paraphilias, I usually remain silent. However, if you look at popular romance literature, women often DO have a very common paraphilia - money and power in a mate. The "bad boy" attractiveness of a powerful male is a turn-on, much to the despair of family court judges. If you want to get right down to the truth of the pornography in "50 Shades" it is not about BDSM but about wealth and how much is acceptable sexual behavior to achieve a partnership and swag from someone who is wealthy. THAT is perversion.
I worked in a mental hospital at an early age, I was manager over theatres in a few cities when "Rocky Horror Picture Show" crews came around, I've had employees who were very open with their peculiarities. My wife was a psychotherapist. I know a lot from hearing different points of view. There is a line, and I watched Rocky Horror crews enforce it to toss abusers and haters and support those who were overwhelmed. The variations in human sexuality are amazing. The restrictions of various cultures on sex is also amazing (and can be even MORE perverse).
As to where some paraphilias originate, there is some strong evidence that a lot can come from dysfunctional parents and shaming and abuse. There is a reason for the axiom that the preacher's kids are the wildest in the class.
People in the BDSM lifestyle HATE 50 Shades. First of all because it's just so wrong and incorrect on so many levels about the thing we do, how it works, and what it's like...but also because most of us love to read and those books are known for being so badly written. Like 90% of the time or more, if you bring it up to a practitioner, they'll have nothing but contempt for it. (But the video of Gilbert Gottfried reading the passage from the book...omg...is it hilarious or horrifying, I can not tell.)
There is so much more to being actually in the lifestyle (and depending on exactly how "in" one chooses to be) than what people think. There are communities for it in pretty much every city. I could look for events on a site and find something going on practically anywhere, including in other countries. I attend an annual convention that draws about a thousand people--I'm actually thinking my fiance and I might get married there next year. We have our clubs and parties, discussion groups, game nights, movie nights, jam nights for our musicians, our art and culture. And we do a lot for charity, too. I volunteered at an event that raised over $10K for charity a few months back. Volunteerism, support for one another, and community involvement are vital ethics in "Leather" circles.
One educator who always teaches classes at the convention I go to, Midori, who wrote the first book in the English language on the subject of Japanese rope technique, defines BDSM as "Childhood joyous play with adult sexual privilege and really cool toys." Because basically, it's very "build your own experience." There's a big menu of typical things people do, but no one has to do any, let alone ALL of them. And for practically all of us, there are at least several genres of kink that just are not our thing, hence our favorite and most oft repeated saying, "Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is ok." Of course--that only applies when the most sacred of our tenets is in place--consent. Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific consent...given by someone with the proper capacity to give it.
So really, what you're into isn't as important, as the ability to NOT judge other people for being into stuff that you are not. Which I note is flagrantly absent in some perspectives in this thread, and in fact it feels like the POINT of this thread is for folks to come along and say, "I don't get it, so it's wrong." Frankly, I'm not sure how people get by without having constant conniptions in such a diverse society, with this kind of an attitude. And the idea that ONLY whatever the majority of people do, is "right"...ugh, how boring the world would be. No, thanks.
For what it's worth, I was not shamed about sexuality growing up, by my parents. I didn't have an idyllic childhood, but the ways in which is shaped me to wind up where I'm at are more complex than this, and too much for this conversation. But I know what you mean about the preachers' kids. If I had a nickel for every time a person with multiple layers of non-mainstream behavior (the ones flying their freak flags as loud and proud as possible) told me that they grew up in something like a Catholic school... I'd have enough to buy myself lunch. "Of course you did. That explains the purple hair!"
A long time ago I was taught that the only "normal" and acceptable sexual activity occurred when a married man and woman engage in sexual intercourse missionary style for the purpose of procreation.
All other sexual activity is immoral and deviant.
While this may no longer be the norm then WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE?
Consenting adults get to draw their own line(s).
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Paraphilia
