Sexually deviant desires, urges, attractions and interests. (husband, relationship, people)
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Why do some people(especially some men) develop sexually deviant intetests?
I mean were they born that way? Did they acquire the deviant interest? Did they learn it from someone else?
Does society contribute to the person's interest perhaps due to sexualization of almost everything? Is the person who has them just PLAIN EVIL?
Deviant sexual interests is one of the most despised psychological behaviors. But why do people have them to begin with? It's a strange phenomena.
Age of consent is 16 in most states. A 15 yr old isn't much different. In many countries, they have younger standards than we do.
didn't elvis….. marry a 14 yr old???
as did jerry lee lewis?
elvis..the king of rocknroll...adored by millions if not billions of women....married a 14 yr old girl.. a freshmen in most high schools..
in the puritanical 50's/60's everyone seem to look the other way???
does anyone ever equate elvis being a pedo?? no
ive never heard the words elvis and deviant in the same sentence.....but if someone that wasn't as popular as elvis did the same thing...would it be different??????
as one poster mentioned above.... Michael Jackson ...seem to love the young boys … but most of the elites and media tried to protect him...
someone posted on one of these threads the age of consent in England centuries ago for a young girl was 12 maybe even 10.... I just cant fathom that in the least....
as far as deviant behavior....
a boy thinking he is a girl....or wanting to be 50 yrs ago may have been considered deviant behavior...… masturbation was considered deviant behavior...
I watch the news and it seems every other day some (politician/high profile) guy is either getting busted for prostitution or cheating on his wife...or getting busted for trafficking ...or in a school system... they seem to risk their whole careers and life for something they know is wrong... I don't get it at all..
speaking of schools...cant remember if her name was pam smart but one of the many female teachers having sex with her teenage students...… this seems more and more prevalent ….. again doesn't make any sense to me … but from the students/boys perspective...they hit the jackpot...
whole different world than if it was a male teacher and your girl..
no mother with agree with that but if you polled 100 men.....80-90% will say those boys were already fantasizing about her...
Last edited by mainebrokerman; 11-07-2019 at 03:49 AM..
How about you looking it up online thru the medical sites.
Briefly it's the feather vs the entire chicken saying. If you don't know that little descriptions full context... you might just get more then you bargained for.
These are summations (theory).
Voyeurs - objectifies it's subject(s) for mental fantasy stimulation. Visually stimulated.
Bondage- empowerment thru pain or humiliation.
Sado/maso- stimulation enhanced thru devices that directly increase pain ...both or all involved tend to use domination/submission to control the levels of distorted stimuli.
None of these are intimacy centered.
It's mastering the subjects or the end result. Even a deviant slave is self centered on getting a reward...
Healthy couples might role play some of these ...they don't though make it a life style . It's the difference between a wine aficionados vs an alcoholic.
Both might drink the goods but one of them isn't living in the substance.
Why do some people(especially some men) develop sexually deviant intetests?
I mean were they born that way? Did they acquire the deviant interest? Did they learn it from someone else?
Does society contribute to the person's interest perhaps due to sexualization of almost everything? Is the person who has them just PLAIN EVIL?
Deviant sexual interests is one of the most despised psychological behaviors. But why do people have them to begin with? It's a strange phenomena.
It is common to be so enculturated that any behavior not common within the culture is considered "sick." Psychologists earn a living trying to help "sick" people, and religion tries to judge and condemn those not in the flock and easily led, so there is a tendency for society to attempt to impose unreasonable limitations on behaviors - not just sexual behaviors, but any behavior. Those with power have typically been allowed far more freedom than the average person. Nero and Caligula come to mind, as does Solomon with his numerous wives and concubines. The proclivities of some past Popes would make your hair stand on end. Those behaviors are, by the standards of our culture today, "sick."
Despising those with non-harmful sexual behaviors is based in fear and based in attempting to limit experience to what seems safe to the person doing the despising.
The dichotomy between carnal desires and the control part of the brain exists to some extent in everyone. It can be seen expressing in the example of the preacher who has affairs. He knows full well what the rules are "supposed" to be, knows what his body wants, and flips back and forth in confusion, generally ascribing his predicament to outside powers greater than him.
Sexual urges, power, and symbology are all intertwined, and hormones kicking in at various stages of development - even in the womb - add to the mix. Sexuality cannot be reduced to a single event of medical configuration.
Responding point by point:
Why do some people(especially some men) develop sexually deviant intetests?
Because they have brains more developed than those of earthworms. Literally, it takes an advanced brain to be creative enough to displace sexual urges. Be thankful, because the alternative would be men in constant states of arousal raping every woman within reach, and every woman trying to bed the most attractive men. Sexual energies also end up being displaced into home building, fashion, attraction to military or first responder careers. In a way, that displacement is even stranger than the simple paraphilias.
I mean were they born that way?
Some are, yes. In others, life experiences and in particular, traumas at key stages of development are an influence. I watched a young man obsessed with tapping on things even as an infant. He now is a drummer. Was he born that way? Probably. So what?
Did they acquire the deviant interest?
See above.
Did they learn it from someone else?
This is a little more tricky to answer. As with the drumming infant, the general predisposition to the behavior was there, but he didn't develop the idea of drumsticks with the proper shape, or stretching a skin over a round frame. The behavior "constellated" on the existing expression in reality that most fit. Was his behavior "learned?" Not really. It was always there. The expression of that behavior within certain boundaries was learned. The autistic drummer might not have that luxury of being able to channel that energy.
Sexual energy is basic and intrinsic to life in the body. While every individual has elements that have commonality, they also have unique variations. Very few people are completely able to self-actualize while being accepted in society. Instead, they find compromise by being in various groups of similarly minded or accepting people.
Does society contribute to the person's interest perhaps due to sexualization of almost everything?
Jung pointed out that it is impossible to escape the culture you were born in to. In the U.S. there are a lot of visual sexual expressions, while in the Romance languages every object is designated as masculine or feminine. That is an overt sexualization hidden in plain sight. When sexual expression is repressed, as in Puritanical sects, even the smallest expression of it has markedly increased power. That is the lure of forbidden fruit.
Is the person who has them just PLAIN EVIL?
That is an idiotic and judgemental question. Is a person who asks questions about sexual matters just PLAIN EVIL? Is a handicapped person who is forced to find alternative sexual expression just PLAIN EVIL? Is a firefighter, who has sublimated some sexual energy into a drive to fight fires just PLAIN EVIL?
There are people in the world who are evil. Some of them drive Ford trucks. That doesn't mean that every Ford truck driver is evil.
There are people in the world who are evil. Some of them have variant sexual desires. That doesn't mean that every variant sexual desire is evil.
Deviant sexual interests is one of the most despised psychological behaviors.
That is a value judgment fraught with flaws and reeking of ignorance. Specific sexual behaviors that result in harm to the innocent are deserving of condemnation, just as assault is.
But why do people have them to begin with?
That is a rhetorical question. I suspect that if you delve into trying to answer it on your own, you will find that you have some sexual behavior or attitudes that are "deviant." EVERYONE - without exception - has some variance from the mythical "norm."
It's a strange phenomena.
HUMANITY is a strange phenomena. Moving bags of blood and bones deciding to go to the moon is pretty odd when you stop and consider it.
How about one adult and an animal? When I was in college I lived in a group house for a summer and we were convinced one women living there was having sex with her German Shepard named Thor. This was 1969, free love and all that.
There are people starting to come out to defend this, as they say the male dogs are enthusiastic about it so there is no harm, and sites where women encourage the practice.
I think most sane people can agree this is repulsive and should not be normalized.
I had no idea that was a thing. Are you sure you want to be spreading information like this around? Particularly in a thread with this title, it's very likely to have a bunch of deviant lurkers.
I'm pretty sure that any deviants who want some kind of license or justification for pedophilia have long since found groups that will pat them on the head and tell them that they are OK. I was hearing about NAMBLA when I was in high school (and I'm 40, so it's been a while.)
But even people who do things that most would find shocking and incomprehensible (I literally set naked people on fire for fun, but without burning them!) condemn pedophilia. The most libertine and liberated and sex positive people I know...still have a hard line of "consenting adults" that excludes both that, and bestiality, and consent violation, and so on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
...
speaking of schools...cant remember if her name was pam smart but one of the many female teachers having sex with her teenage students...… this seems more and more prevalent ….. again doesn't make any sense to me … but from the students/boys perspective...they hit the jackpot...
whole different world than if it was a male teacher and your girl..
no mother with agree with that but if you polled 100 men.....80-90% will say those boys were already fantasizing about her...
I want to speak specifically to this. I think that this is an interesting point, but it goes to some serious bullcrap that society has pushed as "the way it is" for a long time at least in our culture. As a teenage girl, my understanding of consent was so deeply flawed that I believed I had an entitlement to have sex with any straight male who was not otherwise spoken for, if I so desired, and that he had no right, reason, or business saying no to me. I literally harassed a couple of men who worked at a mall, because I did not comprehend why they would say no. I pushed back against their protests that I was underage by arguing that my Mom didn't care and I had my own basement and it would totally be fine. I didn't want to hear their no, and what I did was HARASSMENT.
But it was born of ignorance, rather than malice. Ignorance of a man's right to consent or not. The idea that only a female can be raped (at least in the classic/typical sense.) My sex ed classes did not even mention the word, "consent" as far as I can recall, and I don't think that most do, today. Fortunately ignorance is curable, but damn, ya think we could put a bit more effort into that.
The other absolutely false premise that this kind of thing revolves around, is that males want sex and females don't. Which is bullcrap. If you think that teenage girls don't sit in classes fantasizing about some of their male teachers, then you don't know much about girls. If you think that hormones don't make teenage girls want to get laid, you are sadly mistaken. But no amount of student fantasies excuses an adult in a position of trust and authority, if they engage in sexual relations with a student. Every teacher knows it, and has always known it, and I cannot comprehend how any of them manage to be so STUPID.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3
How about you looking it up online thru the medical sites.
Briefly it's the feather vs the entire chicken saying. If you don't know that little descriptions full context... you might just get more then you bargained for.
These are summations (theory).
Voyeurs - objectifies it's subject(s) for mental fantasy stimulation. Visually stimulated.
Bondage- empowerment thru pain or humiliation.
Sado/maso- stimulation enhanced thru devices that directly increase pain ...both or all involved tend to use domination/submission to control the levels of distorted stimuli.
None of these are intimacy centered.
It's mastering the subjects or the end result. Even a deviant slave is self centered on getting a reward...
Healthy couples might role play some of these ...they don't though make it a life style . It's the difference between a wine aficionados vs an alcoholic.
Both might drink the goods but one of them isn't living in the substance.
I don't even know where to begin.
By your definition, everyone who enjoys porn is a deviant. And even though I don't happen to enjoy porn, I laugh at the notion that the most common thing the internet is even used for, is now a deviance according to you or anybody.
And I would wager you have never spent any amount of time actually interacting in person with people who are part of the BDSM lifestyle. Unless or until you actually go into a community and talk to its members, your scorn for them is nothing but ignorant pearl clutching. And if you think that of course you're right because you can Google-fu up some sources, I would direct you to the recent studies that are revealing that BDSM practitioners are more healthy and report higher relationship satisfaction than the general population. Psychology Today has a few articles about it, but here's one from a more official source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/23679066/
And I would also like to say that before I got into the lifestyle, I knew almost no one in a happy marriage. My grandparents made it until death did them part, but they hated each other for ages before they got there. My parents divorced when I was 10, and most of my friends had divorced parents. My "vanilla" marriage was a toxic hell, and our friends were either divorced, divorcing, or unhappily married.
Then, after that split, I got into the community. Now I know TONS of people in happy marriages. I know people whose power dynamic saved their marriage (an older couple in their late 60's comes to mind) because it forced them to pay more focused attention to one another and communicate more openly and honestly.
So I am not going to go back and forth with you on every one of your points, I'm just going to say that you are speaking from a place of ignorance on the subject, and while no one in the lifestyle would ever suggest that it's for everyone, that doesn't mean that it is bad. And your argument that intimacy is not present in these connections, is about the most blind and preposterous thing I've heard lately, and I'm a regular on this site so that says something.
I know hundreds of people who are in the BDSM community and practice it regularly. How many do you know?
[quote=mainebrokerman;56580178]didn't elvis….. marry a 14 yr old???
as did jerry lee lewis?
elvis..the king of rocknroll...adored by millions if not billions of women....married a 14 yr old girl.. a freshmen in most high schools..
in the puritanical 50's/60's everyone seem to look the other way???
does anyone ever equate elvis being a pedo?? no
ive never heard the words elvis and deviant in the same sentence.....but if someone that wasn't as popular as elvis did the same thing...would it be different??????
/QUOTE]
Teenagers are still free to have as much sex as they want, as long as they do it with other teenagers.
Traditionally, puberty was the dividing line. Think Bar/Bat Mitzvah. When you turn 13, you are an adult.
Pedophiles = attracted to prepubescent children, birth to 12 years old
Hebephile = attracted to early pubescent teens, 12-14 years old.
Ephebophile = attracted to mid to late adolescents 15-19 years old.
I was a teen in the early '60s. Assuming the girl was a willing participant, the most common criminal charge was "Contributing to the sexual delinquency of a minor." Then, as now, lots of teenage girls had boyfriends a few years older, and it rarely became an issue. IIRC, "protect the innocent hotties" didn't become a thing until the '80s.
Jerry Lee Lewis could legally marry his 13-year-old third cousin, but it cost him both socially and financially. Lots of people, including radio stations, cut him off.
Doesn't really matter. I consider Elvis to be a pervert. He was dating a 14 year old. That's how old Priscilla was when she met him.
Jerry Lee Lewis marrying a 13 year old wasn't even considered acceptable during that time period, as proven by how many people boycotted his music after that.
I honestly believe there is a genetic link. I believe most 'psychiatric' conditions are multifactorial genetic disorders.
I wonder about this too. I know a family who kind of has this issue. Dad was in prison for something related to pornography and kids (not child pornography, I'm not 100% sure what the issue was). Son 1 was caught dating a 17yo - he was 28, a teacher at her school, and she said she was 18, lol. Son 2 was charged with having sex with a 14yo - he was 24. To this day, all 3 of them still like to date women that are 18-20 (only because they're legal).
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