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Similar issues from your other post. But you offer more detail about yourself. I'm sorry that you have been bullied, you're not alone. Bullies tend to be weak minded individuals, and need to put people down in order to feel better about themselves. When bullies sense someone is vulnerable, someone who is "safe" to pick on because they won't fight back, they will strike and repeat. Fighting back is the only defense against someone who perpetually bullies you. But some find it almost impossible to fight back for the reasons you state, they don't like conflict or confrontation, so they just take/avoid it. The problem with doing that is that you develop a passive aggressive personality. You're passive on the outside, but very angry on the inside, understandably. You tend to give that anger to others at the same time you're being overly passive. When people pick up that anger (and don't usually know it), they are more likely to strike out at you, out of their own frustration. Sound familiar? You also may attract "rescuers", people who want to protect you, help you, fight for you, but ultimately become controlling and angry with you because you're not responding to their attempts to help you they give up and walk away, and usually stay away. So you've got a double edged sword, the bully who repeatedly picks on you, and the rescuer who tries to help you but ultimately walks away out of frustration. So the obvious fix is to effect change from within, by building up your self esteem, learning to be assertive (not aggressive), embracing and building your strengths, and accept that you have weaknesses as we all do. Now is the time to work on these issues, not when your 40. Now that you've identified yourself in the world, you're at the perfect position and time, to effect change so that your day to day quality of life is much better, and not so vulnerable to others. I really have no doubt that as time goes on and you mature and grow, things will get better for you. You will see that bullies usually dig their own holes and eventually fall in, but not always in time for you to see it. People like you that are sensitive and insightful, usually go on to achieve good things in life. Then years and decades will pass, and you'll come across past negative people that were in your life, and you'll see that you've come a long way and they haven't. The bully kid in school becomes a big loser, and the shy kid (you) becomes a success story. I've seen it many times, so take heart and take care, you're going to be fine.
Great advice. I was bullied relentlessly from 5th grade all the way through high school because I was a small kid. Nobody would even think about it now, lol. But yeah, it affects self esteem and confidence. Recognizing and developing your strengths is the greatest advice of all. Like judd said, years later you'll see you've come a long way and they've gone nowhere. I saw that at my 20 year high school reunion.
Now is the time to work on these issues, not when your 40. Now that you've identified yourself in the world, you're at the perfect position and time, to effect change so that your day to day quality of life is much better, and not so vulnerable to others. I really have no doubt that as time goes on and you mature and grow, things will get better for you. You will see that bullies usually dig their own holes and eventually fall in, but not always in time for you to see it. People like you that are sensitive and insightful, usually go on to achieve good things in life. Then years and decades will pass, and you'll come across past negative people that were in your life, and you'll see that you've come a long way and they haven't. The bully kid in school becomes a big loser, and the shy kid (you) becomes a success story. I've seen it many times, so take heart and take care, you're going to be fine.
yes, so true!! Absolutely true.
I went through the same and now they all want to be friends on facebook. They contact me and are jealous of what I have accomplished and all the cool hobbies I have, so funny.
Enlist in the Marine Corps. Even the Marine Corps Reserve. If you stick with it and survive the training you'll come out the other end with the tenacity to stand up to them toe to toe, look them in the eye and ask them "What the @#$%& is your problem"!! And the ability to follow through if it comes to that. You may also look back at where you are living now and realize that you've outgrown it.
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Originally Posted by Atlguy39
Great advice. I was bullied relentlessly from 5th grade all the way through high school because I was a small kid. Nobody would even think about it now, lol. But yeah, it affects self esteem and confidence. Recognizing and developing your strengths is the greatest advice of all. Like judd said, years later you'll see you've come a long way and they've gone nowhere. I saw that at my 20 year high school reunion.
Well, the worst bully of them all pulled a high stool out from under me in September 1972 after attacking me with a bike chain in June 1972. At the 2015 reunion, the 40th, he was in the "in memorium" video so he went somewhere; to the great fires underground or poking up daisies.
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