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Now that I am older, I have learned to try to fit in more with the crowd I am with, but I also now associate more with people who have above average IQ's, so that is not a problem. However, I am am VERY intimidated by people who have more than a Masters degree. I know that I am not at all in their intelligence and knowledge league (with the exception of some Progressive college professors), so I am very self-conscious and feel very inferior to people with advanced degrees.
No worries. I tell the cat how lucky he is to have a Master's degree holder cleaning up his litterbox. He never seems to be impressed @ all. Not the slightest acknowledgement, not a jot, not a tittle.
Most people I know who are very intelligent dont flaunt it. They dont sit there spouting off physics or calculus equations or anything. They dont act differently because of it.
I don't think most very intelligent people have to flaunt their intelligence, nor do they have to hit the higher math button.
Most of those people I've known who I would consider in this category did not read the same books as other people, often did not spend their free time in similar ways, often did not belong to similar organizations, often had more complex vocabularies, worked at difficult technical or academic jobs, etc.
I worked for twenty years in an environment with a fair number of staff members who were very intelligent, and doing complex jobs for which they received handsome salaries. They acted different because they were different, and shared interests and lifestyles with many other staff members were not there.
They were all willing to be sociable (with one outstanding exception), though it was not always easy for them. A major problem for some was that since high school they had been almost sequestered with people like themselves in education and their first jobs. For one of the real geniuses was very, very difficult...it seemed that he just did not know what/how to do. This began as a brand new institution, and after a year or two all of these women and men had some friends who were not nearly as intellectually endowed as themselves - and after a couple of more the major differences were still there, but it had become a very comfortably social work environment for everyone. Well, almost everyone.
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If someone believes they are superior, though, and acts condescending or patronizing, due to that belief, then that is obnoxious.
It usually is not a matter of "belief," but of knowledge. However it is still obnoxious.
Our holdout was Dr. Outstanding Exception, Joe. Joe was young very husky, extremely unpleasant and had done what was evidently a rather outstanding doctoral dissertation on "imaginary numbers/non-existent numbers"....some math voodoo stuff. He was so unsociable and rude that even the brightest co-workers didn't like him, and his boss just handed him a list of things to do and shut him in a room without windows. (Maybe that didn't help!) Even when we changed floors he got a dark, windowless office near the paper storage room.
I was the department director's assistant, and lucky dumbo me was always the one to "Take this in to Joe." And there would be a sheet of written instructions about the "this" because the boss did not want to talk with him if he could help it. I would knock on his closed door, he would bark and I would enter and drop the stuff in his in-box, and hope to just leave. But Dr. Genius Joe wanted to vent, unfortunately he did not seem to want to bathe though, and in a windowless office..... He would snarl or snap or growl, "What the hell is that crap!!" He kept this up for two or three years. The boss was dumped. Joe stayed in his den, and I got to deliver his work assignments from the new guy. One day he said his usual snarl, "What the g-damn blah-blah-blah is this sh*t!!!!" I did not suddenly have "Nobel Prize Winner" tattooed on my forehead, and it must have been a crap day because I bent down over his desk and shouted at him to the effect, "If you would read it a-hole that might be your first clue! And do not say one effing word to me again when I come in here."
Two days later I became aware that someone was standing in front of my desk. It was Genius Joe. I just looked...screw 'im. Finally he said, "Would you explain this to me." I thought he was baiting me, but he handed me a paper. It was a rundown of our revised insurance or pension plan options. "Tell me what to do," he said. (I would have been less surprised if he had punched me.) I explained it, and I realized that it was as incomprehensible to him as his imaginary numbers would have been to me.
And this was Joe's baby step. He came with other stuff, and it began to include a lot of stuff that had zero to do with our work. It became obvious - Joe seemed to have done nothing in life but play with his numbers, and his surly personality had kept him from making any friends who would have broadened his horizons downward toward more everyday things. This was compounded by the fact that he came from a lower working class Irish-American family, who regarded him as a total freak and were not crazy about having him visit.
Now Joe was on a mission, he wanted to know about music - we were next to a cultural center, he wanted to know about all sorts of literature - I always had a book, about painting - our quarters had been decorated with reproductions of a whole range of 20th century art....I got used to his cautious, "Uh, what's this?" And he wanted to look better so he joined a nearby gym - and we had reached the point where I could tell him to take an extra ten minutes there to shower, because "You stink like an effing pig." He began to try chatting with some very startled staff members, and he even began dating a woman on our staff.
The flip side of Dr. Genius Joe was something on the order a cautiously curious teenager, though the edge between the two kept its surly shine.
I know, myself, when I come face to face with someone very intelligent, I can get uncomfortable.
I get excited. xD
I think it does sometimes. A person who got close to me really fast, at some point during a serious conversation where I was analyzing his thoughts and he looked at me kind of shaken and told me that it is scary. he probably felt as if I was reading his thoughts.
I don't think most very intelligent people have to flaunt their intelligence, nor do they have to hit the higher math button.
Most of those people I've known who I would consider in this category did not read the same books as other people, often did not spend their free time in similar ways, often did not belong to similar organizations, often had more complex vocabularies, worked at difficult technical or academic jobs, etc.
I worked for twenty years in an environment with a fair number of staff members who were very intelligent, and doing complex jobs for which they received handsome salaries. They acted different because they were different, and shared interests and lifestyles with many other staff members were not there.
They were all willing to be sociable (with one outstanding exception), though it was not always easy for them. A major problem for some was that since high school they had been almost sequestered with people like themselves in education and their first jobs. For one of the real geniuses was very, very difficult...it seemed that he just did not know what/how to do. This began as a brand new institution, and after a year or two all of these women and men had some friends who were not nearly as intellectually endowed as themselves - and after a couple of more the major differences were still there, but it had become a very comfortably social work environment for everyone. Well, almost everyone.
That makes sense. The person I was thinking of that I based my post on, who I consider one of the more intelligent people I have ever known, was an electrical engineer. He had gone to a normal high school, but had a BS in engineering from a top university, had gotten a 1440 on the SAT, and at age 25 was already making almost a six figure salary. I don't know if he was a genius (I think true geniuses are very rare), but his intelligence was definitely up there.
But he didn't "flex" it. I did find him a bit different, though, but not in a way that was him showing off or bragging, or acting like he thought he was better, or superior. He was able to loosen up too. Didn't take himself too seriously. He enjoyed going to amusement parks, he could become silly and giggly at times, he liked watching normal movies, he was down to earth. He didn't have a big ego.
Quote:
It usually is not a matter of "belief," but of knowledge. However it is still obnoxious.
Our holdout was Dr. Outstanding Exception, Joe. Joe was young very husky, extremely unpleasant and had done what was evidently a rather outstanding doctoral dissertation on "imaginary numbers/non-existent numbers"....some math voodoo stuff. He was so unsociable and rude that even the brightest co-workers didn't like him, and his boss just handed him a list of things to do and shut him in a room without windows. (Maybe that didn't help!) Even when we changed floors he got a dark, windowless office near the paper storage room.
I was the department director's assistant, and lucky dumbo me was always the one to "Take this in to Joe." And there would be a sheet of written instructions about the "this" because the boss did not want to talk with him if he could help it. I would knock on his closed door, he would bark and I would enter and drop the stuff in his in-box, and hope to just leave. But Dr. Genius Joe wanted to vent, unfortunately he did not seem to want to bathe though, and in a windowless office..... He would snarl or snap or growl, "What the hell is that crap!!" He kept this up for two or three years. The boss was dumped. Joe stayed in his den, and I got to deliver his work assignments from the new guy. One day he said his usual snarl, "What the g-damn blah-blah-blah is this sh*t!!!!" I did not suddenly have "Nobel Prize Winner" tattooed on my forehead, and it must have been a crap day because I bent down over his desk and shouted at him to the effect, "If you would read it a-hole that might be your first clue! And do not say one effing word to me again when I come in here."
Two days later I became aware that someone was standing in front of my desk. It was Genius Joe. I just looked...screw 'im. Finally he said, "Would you explain this to me." I thought he was baiting me, but he handed me a paper. It was a rundown of our revised insurance or pension plan options. "Tell me what to do," he said. (I would have been less surprised if he had punched me.) I explained it, and I realized that it was as incomprehensible to him as his imaginary numbers would have been to me.
And this was Joe's baby step. He came with other stuff, and it began to include a lot of stuff that had zero to do with our work. It became obvious - Joe seemed to have done nothing in life but play with his numbers, and his surly personality had kept him from making any friends who would have broadened his horizons downward toward more everyday things. This was compounded by the fact that he came from a lower working class Irish-American family, who regarded him as a total freak and were not crazy about having him visit.
Now Joe was on a mission, he wanted to know about music - we were next to a cultural center, he wanted to know about all sorts of literature - I always had a book, about painting - our quarters had been decorated with reproductions of a whole range of 20th century art....I got used to his cautious, "Uh, what's this?" And he wanted to look better so he joined a nearby gym - and we had reached the point where I could tell him to take an extra ten minutes there to shower, because "You stink like an effing pig." He began to try chatting with some very startled staff members, and he even began dating a woman on our staff.
The flip side of Dr. Genius Joe was something on the order a cautiously curious teenager, though the edge between the two kept its surly shine.
Obnoxious has its own time schedule.
I think an obnoxious ego maniac is an obnoxious ego maniac, whether their ego comes from something based in reality, or not.
But if that person has issues causing them to behave that way (social blindness, for instance), I think its easier to be compassionate towards them, and even find it endearing.
Not at all. As others have said most intelligent people I know don't intimidate anyone or wave their intelligence around. An attitude of superiority however could easily turn people off so they don't want to spend time with someone. It may have nothing to do at all with intimidation.
It's not your perceived intelligence that is "scaring" people away but rather your "very intense and serious minded" attitude more than likely. My guess without knowing you other than the drivel you post on this forum is that you're socially awkward due to your inability to "lighten up".
It begs the question, though, why does American culture require that serious people "lighten up"? Why is being serious seen as a negative?
Serious people can be stuck in another conundrum: likeability.
No worries. I tell the cat how lucky he is to have a Master's degree holder cleaning up his litterbox. He never seems to be impressed @ all. Not the slightest acknowledgement, not a jot, not a tittle.
Your cat is probably annoyed that your talking to him when you should be cleaning his liter box.
It begs the question, though, why does American culture require that serious people "lighten up"? Why is being serious seen as a negative?
Serious people can be stuck in another conundrum: likeability.
Does it really? The culture in general? I don't think so. After all, its probably more about perception and presentation. The portion of the population that chooses to feel insecure probably says that...and they are saying it for their own benefit. There are lots of socially intelligent brainiacs and there are lots of socially insecure brainiacs. I suspect those who feel the need to brag about their intelligence, put Mensa stickers on their bumpers, rattle off examples of all they know, suggest little games they will win and others won't, fall into the latter category.
I'll never forget one particular college professor. He presented almost nothing "intellectual". He was soft spoken, unfailingly kind to everyone, humble, always had time for anyone else's ideas, spoke simply and briefly...had to be drawn out. However, he understood more about the literary, philosophical, and cultural history of the world than you could imagine. An amazingly astute mind that could frighten you once you realized where he could go that you couldn't. He'd never deliberately show off, intimidate or embarrass anyone. People would dismiss him as nothing special or even ridicule him until they ended up in his classes. I remember finding some scholarly book he wrote in a shop, bought it (sort of out of admiration and respect) and mentioned it to him after class. He was embarrassed, passed it off as something done under pressure. I probably learned more from him than any other teacher. His manner wasn't the least of it.
Years later I contacted the college wondering how to get in touch with him. I'd often wondered what the administration's impression was of such an unprepossessing personality. Found out he was universally loved and respected as a truly great educator. Someone held a memorial for him at the college. The auditorium was standing room only, overflowing out the door. Says more than any shelf of scholarly books, essays, lectures read by no one.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-21-2019 at 05:43 PM..
Your cat is probably annoyed that your talking to him when you should be cleaning his liter box.
I'm sure you're right - but I have the last laugh. I also tell him that I don't do metric.
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