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Are they just rude or is it that your not just interesting enough to listen to?
I’ve had some people do this from time to time and I just walk away some come find me and tell me how rude I am to just walk off. I tell them that it was rude of them in the first place to snub me in the first place.
Anyone else experience this, how do you handle it?
Well, A, B, and C.
A: They may not be walking away but breaking off, to stop the engagement that they believe they will eventually have to respond to and potentially do something unpleasant.
In a similar way, it is an item in my "programming" to not engage a loved one with my martial skills but to break off, withdraw, if necessary, take it on shields but one order is clear......DO NOT ENGAGE.
Of course, most people will not understand that kind of discipline. Once in bed, my lover wanted it rough, told me, "Get mad at me!"......and that triggered the program of the above paragraph. I pulled away and they didn't understand, they thought I was rejecting them.
B: One of my brothers is a notorious interrupter when being talked to. Training says the best thing to do is to shut down until he stops interrupting (but we are human, so that is hard to do). If, however, he were to continue to interrupt once I start talking again, then the next course of action is to break off the engagement and withdraw.
C: Which comes down to this that the decision to withdraw is that of our own, it is an item we have control of. I have had situations in life where I have been called to a meeting and when asked what it was about, have been told, "Well, we will talk about that when you get here." In one situation, my response was "to submerge" with the attitude of, "When you start talking to me, I will start talking to you." Until then, I am busy, submerge, following orders and protocols as stored in on board computers. I eventually resigned from that organization without much of a further word but there was an item of satisfaction when I decided to submerge, I was back in control.
It may be that for the talk, they don't like the situation and they are responding in the only way they can.
There are lots of opinions in this thread, OP, but can it be that someone bursts on the scene with new information? Like, you're in a conversation but someone the person loves but has not seen for awhile enters the room?
OR, the hostess asks for all the guests to come get a plate and find a place at the table, so you're interrupted?
On the other hand, if people routinely walk away from you at a party to engage others, it's because they're trying to escape your company.
And OP doesn't need to take all the blame here either. There can be many reasons for the situation OP describes.
People have remarkably short attention spans these days. Especially in group situations. They don't listen well.
Some are rude enough to wander off without even a comment. I see people's eyes start to glaze over and I think that they may be wondering if they've got any messages on their phone. (Technology habituation plays a big part in these poor communication skills.) Maybe in their techno trance they don't even realize they've drifted off.
I think a good conversationalist would be able to provide a formal ending to a conversation. Otherwise they appear passive-aggressive. We don't seem to care much about those things anymore.
Even a hostess bursting in and interrupting conversation can be done with more politeness and grace than this scenario.
It may have more to do with the mile-a-minute society we live in today than anything you're doing, But a thought to consider OP: How are the social conversation skills? Can you keep it light and interesting?
OP has stated this only happens at work, with work-related conversations. I have seen this happen when people are busy, like in my fast-paced office. People need info from you, and once they get it, or they realize you don't have it, they break off the convo and get back to work.
If we chit chatted all day at my office, we'd be taking work home every night and weekend.
I've been guilty of doing this to my BIL. The man literally never stops talking. NEVER. If he's awake, he's talking. He's been told he has this issue, and not just by me.
I've gotten to the point where I think of him as white noise. It's easier to think he's white noise, than to be constantly held captive to his ramblings, ridiculous (and repetitive) questions and requests, and observations that are as equally ridiculous. It has become my self-defense mechanism.
i have a cowokers like this, this guy can never just shut the hell up. Yap Yap Yap . I've literally had to just begin to walk away, slowly kind of and then make up an excuse about using the restroom or whatever.
Are they just rude or is it that your not just interesting enough to listen to?
I’ve had some people do this from time to time and I just walk away some come find me and tell me how rude I am to just walk off. I tell them that it was rude of them in the first place to snub me in the first place.
Anyone else experience this, how do you handle it?
I Just don't bother talking to them beyond "Hi" and "Bye"
I skimmed the replies but OP still needs to give way more context. You walk away from a conversation. What were you talking about? Work? Politics? Social issues? The news? WHY did you walk away, OP? What's an example of a conversation that you walked away from?
I walk away or sometimes ignore and start a conversation with someone else with a woman I know who is a nonstop talker. She will tell you the same story sometimes during the same evening.
And then there is the story of the day her father died when she was 16, what she wore that day, what she said to the lady on the phone at the hospital, and then you watch her tear up...she is 79. No, it's not dementia. It's the need for constant attention. Like Daddy gave her until he died when she was 16.
I also pointedly ignore her with her weird date thing. By that I mean if you say your birthday is April 4, she will relate that to something that happened in HER life. "My birthday is April 4." "Oh. What a coincidence. April 4 is the day I had my third miscarriage. If she'd lived, she would have been 52 now."
One time I noted that the day was the tenth anniversary of my brother's death. "Really? It's my cousin Karen's birthday today, too! She lives up in in Connecticut now. Her husband died last year of a stroke..."
Mr Obama lectured on this subject but few listened
Few listened to a lecture about the idea that their listening needed to improve? Apropos.
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. I've literally had to just begin to walk away, slowly kind of and then make up an excuse about using the restroom or whatever.
