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Change is the greatest concept in the nature of man. If you don't think people can change, you deny the fact that quite a few are capable of achieving what we can call human magnificence. The truth is that everyone changes throughout the cycle of life, but not everyone changes in genuinely good ways. The context of your post makes it seem that you have not noticed anyone who changed in positive, good ways. It does happen.
I think we are talking about two different things - change of individual character and human achievements.
Yes, people learn, improve, change opinion, develop new skills, achieve great things. But they not necessary change their own character and behavioral tendencies.
They might get more educated, polished, well mannered, adapt socially acceptable behavior...
Personality by its definition is a relatively stable set of patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A mood can change, an opinion might change, but most adults, say around the 30's have their personality fully developed and their traits become very predictable and stable. It's a way of maturity.
They settle into routine, form habits. Also, their brains get more fixed on those habits that are part of their personality.
At that age, most people get comfortable with "their ways" (drinker, cheater, liar, workaholic, shopaholic, hoarder etc.) and they don't want or have an extremely hard time to change those ways to please others.
Well, as I said - some will try to compromise, and depending on the severity they might do their best to achieve that, but deep inside they still will have the same character traits, just now concealed. They might become more trustworthy, responsible or dependable - consciously. They learn from their past mistakes, build their character BUT given the right opportunity of being no judged, they might go back to their old self.
However, some of the seemingly set traits are often affected by major life events, such as marriage, children, new job, sickness or a major loss in their life. Many life events can fine-tune their already set character and behavioral tendencies.
It's well known that people are more malleable when they are younger and as they get older, they are less and less susceptible to any changes.
When people are young, they're still trying to find themselves. It's when they get older, that they realize who they really are and settle into being that person. But many older people are also set in their ways, unwilling to change, once they've decided who they want to be.
This is why, for the most part, advertisers could care less for people, once they get into their mid to late 30s and early 40s, since most are not going to change their buying habits, it's the pre-teens, teens and 20-somethings that they are still able to persuade much easier!
Generally, I don't think people can change. I don't expect an abuser to change his ways after therapy, or an angry person to become mellow, micromanager to stop being a PITA, a mean person to become nice, a cheater to stop cheating...
They might try for a while, but when they get tired and frustrated of trying - sooner than later, they will go back to their usual self.
Those people may sincerely hope, try and promise to change, but they just can't act like someone else, against their own character.
At least I never met anyone who managed it.
Many older people seemingly get mellow, but not because they changed, but because they just don't give a damn. Others get more difficult, mean, angry or demanding because they feel that they don't need to please anyone anymore...
Interesting that you feel that way. Why? Do you think it's DNA? Are people predisposed to act and to become a certain way and/or to have a certain personality? Do you not believe that external stimuli can trigger responses that affect a personality?
I think we are talking about two different things - change of individual character and human achievements.
Yes, people learn, improve, change opinion, develop new skills, achieve great things. But they not necessary change their own character and behavioral tendencies.
They might get more educated, polished, well mannered, adapt socially acceptable behavior...
Personality by its definition is a relatively stable set of patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A mood can change, an opinion might change, but most adults, say around the 30's have their personality fully developed and their traits become very predictable and stable. It's a way of maturity.
They settle into routine, form habits. Also, their brains get more fixed on those habits that are part of their personality.
At that age, most people get comfortable with "their ways" (drinker, cheater, liar, workaholic, shopaholic, hoarder etc.) and they don't want or have an extremely hard time to change those ways to please others.
Well, as I said - some will try to compromise, and depending on the severity they might do their best to achieve that, but deep inside they still will have the same character traits, just now concealed. They might become more trustworthy, responsible or dependable - consciously. They learn from their past mistakes, build their character BUT given the right opportunity of being no judged, they might go back to their old self.
However, some of the seemingly set traits are often affected by major life events, such as marriage, children, new job, sickness or a major loss in their life. Many life events can fine-tune their already set character and behavioral tendencies.
It's well known that people are more malleable when they are younger and as they get older, they are less and less susceptible to any changes.
The change of individual character IS the achievement. The opportunity of ending the day a different person than one wakes up is too important to forfeit.
The user 'orbiter' here said
Quote:
Originally Posted by orbiter
Ditto
“a leopard never changes its spots”
One of the saddest way to live your life is to forget the difference between human and animal. A human has the power to use mind in order to change and a refusal to do it leads down the road of non-learning, the road of memorization and repetition.
Also, change of character is inevitable with learning. However, routine consumption of information is not learning as information does not equal knowledge. Those who learn, inevitably change.
Some might consider change adapting. Those who can't adapt will eventually not survive the circumstances they didn't adapt to. One has to change to move on after a negative event or set of circumstance. One must change detrimental addictive behavior to survive. In Darwinian or anthropological terms change is necessary.
That being said what everyone said is true. After a certain point people get comfortable or don't give a damn where they're at. Sometimes that's good and other's it's bad
It's not that people will or wont' change it's the way people around them react to change or lack there of is where the real issues are. After a certain point one has to be accepted for the way are or the decisions they made. It's when that doesn't happen person, business or even family progress slows or stops.
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