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Please don't get me wrong. When I'm super busy at work I even forget to eat at times with my hyper focus. But majority of the times, if I see a message on my phone, It must be checked and replied to. I can't just look at a message and be like "Oh I'll just reply back later because I'm too self observed to give someone time of the day." If I am asked a question even in person. I feel the need to reply back. If I don't know the answer, I'll go searching for it so I can get the answer and reply them back with.
For example I cannot leave an email unchecked. It must be checked, trashed, archived or something. I can't have outstanding notifications laying around on my phone but mainly emails and texts. Honestly, I hate phone calls unless its business. I don't like friendly calls to chit chat, I prefer text
That all sounds OCD.
Can you enjoy an evening with family or friends without being distracted by your phone ?
I put my phone away at night and I don't text while driving, which could be up to 4 hours a day. People know if they need me urgently I will answer a call.
I think the OP may be overestimating how much importance the average person gives to text messaging.
Who exactly are you complaining about, OP? Who is not texting back fast enough, and on what issue?
Also very telling that OP thinks the flip phone was an invention of the 1970s.
This.
It was the 2000s even
They must be very young to not know that, and because of that, no wonder they are glued to their phone. I'm sure whoever they are trying to reach has more on their plate and the OP just doesn't. Unless it's an urgent, need-to-know matter, people can wait until they can get back or feel like it.
Please don't get me wrong. When I'm super busy at work I even forget to eat at times with my hyper focus. But majority of the times, if I see a message on my phone, It must be checked and replied to. I can't just look at a message and be like "Oh I'll just reply back later because I'm too self observed to give someone time of the day." If I am asked a question even in person. I feel the need to reply back. If I don't know the answer, I'll go searching for it so I can get the answer and reply them back with.
For example I cannot leave an email unchecked. It must be checked, trashed, archived or something. I can't have outstanding notifications laying around on my phone but mainly emails and texts. Honestly, I hate phone calls unless its business. I don't like friendly calls to chit chat, I prefer text
That sounds like a personal preference then (dare I say a personal problem), not a universal expectation. You may not be able to let things go like that but many people can. Everyone is different. We all may wonder why people operate differently than us but we can't act like the way they act is necessarily wrong. Your question implies people are wrong for doing that because you would never do that. But if you look at the replies here, it looks like more people than not operate the opposite of you. That should tell you you are an exception rather than the rule.
I think as you get older and busier with responsibilities in your life you'll understand better. You also don't say if it's one particular person you're referring to or many, but maybe you should ask yourself if you're texting them too much or if your texts contain info that the person doesn't want to address right away. Maybe it's not them, maybe it's you. Just trying to put a different perspective on it.
OP....Could you leave your phone at home and go away for the weekend? Or just lock your phone up for a couple days? It might be worth an experiment to see if you are actually addicted to the dang thing.......then, if you are, you could explain some of your obsession with it.
Don't worry, you're not alone...they had a segment on 60 Minutes about a year ago, and even the interviewer (one of the older guys) who was hooked up to a machine, had an anxiety reaction every time they texted his phone.....
something that no one has mentioned here, the time of day and expectations about context and outcome.
- What TIME OF DAY are you txt'ing these other people? At work?
1) Person A has a low paying boring job where they are stuck in a cubicle farm all day from 8am to 5pm. They cannot leave their desk, but there are big blocks of time where there is less actual work to do. They LEAN on their phone and a steady stream of txts and notifications to entertain them. There is nothing about their job that is fulfilling, they are replaceable, and even they dont see themselves working there in 2 or 3 years.
2) Person B has a respectable paying mid-tier job where they txt alot - both professionally and personally. However, with their mid-tier job they are expected to "pay attention to some important -ish" that's happening or their responsible for. Like... you could lose your job if u get caught screwing around too much on the clock, and it would be hard to find another job of the same caliber if you got fired.
3) Person C actually has a pretty damn good paying, professional-career-position-until age 67.5 retirement-n-pension-n-401k. The work is challenging and ever-changing, it requires MOST your focused attention during work hours. Personal smartphone apps and txts would be utterly taboo. Infact, the employer might BAN phones with cameras, as it threatens their Intellectual Property. It may represent an Endgame position, where if you get laid off or fired, you know people who NEVER got such a cushy gig ever again in their working lifetime.
Even when they get off work, the schedule is pretty tightly packed, with gym or kids afterhours or yoga/art class. Since there's really only ~2 hours after dinner and before bed, it is their expectation to talk to friends, family, or their OKCupid date potentials during this narrow window.
What if you txt early friday night or Sat during the day? People may already have plans in progress. If you buy a ticket to a show or a movie, you may turn your phone OFF. In a stimulating environment like Disneyland or the LA County Fair, couldnt hear a txt notification if I wanted to. When you get out of the movie/place, it may be unreasonably late to txt back. This is mine: hobbies like riding a motorcycle to national parks or rural areas automatically negate txt'ing - phone is in the tankbag, and where I'm going there are only barren roads, mountain lions and condors - no cell towers. Or StandUp Paddleboard: aint got no phone when I'm out on the water.
Now let's talk about expectations.
WHY are we txt'ing? Just to shoot the breeze and send memes? Or are you trying to gauge someone's interest and excitement that you are txt'ing, you want to have a good volley and then ask them out on a date? Lets be real: online profiles and sending messages might be your ONLY social outlet, to bring NEW people into your life. That's why you have such an expectation/addiction.
What if they dont have a modern car with bluetooth, that reads txts aloud? Cops can ding you for holding up your phone while driving in some places, not to say nothing about the risk of a collision (even in 8mph bumper to bumper traffic).
I'm just saying, people who txt back immediately, everytime, everyday might not have anything better to do. But when they *stop* responding immediately, and respond the next day: that might be meta-communication that you are not in their Top 5. If they've never responded within a few minutes, maybe you're FriendZoned from Day One.
If they act like they like you, but their txts are ultimately short and sporatic.. maybe they are txt'ing 10 other people at the same time. 500 followers on Instagram means you are merely one of a series of orbiting satellites tryna vie for their attention.
Sorry but I don't walk around my house with my phone all the time. For one thing not all of my clothes have pockets so I'm not carrying it around all the time. (I hate feeling tethered to an electronic device anyway).
I'm retired and home most of the time. If my phone goes off and I left it upstairs in the bedroom but I'm down in the basement I just don't hear it. Plus I think it's annoying sometimes if I'm busy doing something to hear the text notification go off with the expectation that I need to respond right away. Not to mention that if I'm out with friends I think it's rude to start texting with someone unless it's an emergency.
I'm one of those people who always responds back to texts within a matter of minutes. That is mainly because I always have the phone on me just like everyone else. Unless you're a new mom who have like 3 little kids running around and got baby duties and that is almost like 10% of people we know, if that. So majority of the people have no excuse to not text back or unless you live in a box and still carry a flip phone that you need to mail back to the 70s.
Am I the only one who is so responsive? Are there people out there who can relate?
Back in the 1970s (the BEST era for rock concerts!!!) we didn't have any kind of mobile phone. This statement made me laugh! I remember getting a "car" phone back in the late 90s (or was it later than that?) that was like a huge heavy brick! Flip phones came out sometime in the 2000's.
Does anybody have a landline anymore? I didn't have one for about 6 years but when I recently changed internet providers it was cheaper to get the landline and the higher speed internet than it was prior so I got one. The only person who has actually called me on it is my sister and I won't give that number out to anybody other than family so I don't start getting annoying robo calls. Plus if something happens to my cell phone I won't feel completely isolated.
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