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I think dating apps are very dangerous. It can give some people instant gratification mainly women over men. While some people especially men will feel deeply depressed or oppressed feeling unwanted while they see other guys gloating over their tinder successes.
I know when I was young and didn't know what women wanted in a guy. I did whatever they asked me so I could please them but they just passed me on for guys that didn't care about pleasing them. Eventually I learned that reverse psychology works the best. I learnt that women needed to be wanted but also they need to be challenged at the same time. Without challenging them they wouldn't be interested. Most women only interested in guys that challenge them in a game.
So don't ever care if a women should make men feel better. Nobody cares about making you feel better. Humans are all greedy, when they showed they care they also have a self interest there.
Everyone, I'm sorry I can't upvote pretty much every post in this thread. Even if I didn't, it's probably because I already repped one of your posts here; I'm mashing that button like an arachnophobe in an insectarium.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sadskeptic
I think it's a cultural thing. Men compliment women because society places a greater emphasis on womens appearance than it does with men. [/color]
And, perhaps women compliment other women because society has this idea that all women are catty toward each other so sometimes we're interested in lifting each other up instead. And perhaps women don't compliment men because men tend to see that as a come-on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove
Heck, there are times I've love to compliment a man, but at my age I'd be regarded as some dotty old cougar wanna-be.
Pretty much. Even if I don't think a man would hit on me if I complimented him, I still don't want him wondering if *I'm* interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Why not just make your thread about this then, since this is what it boils down to for you?
It's not a partner's job to make you feel better about yourself. That's YOUR job.
There are ways partners can make each other feel good emotionally, but that's not what you're complaining about here.
Oh, is that what this is? The old "I can't get a woman because I'm not attractive enough, it could never be anything like my personality and/or attitude, oh no" trope we see here ad nauseum? I missed that part of his post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
Thanks, Sassy...I mean, it isn't impossible that she's scheming to cheat on her husband, but I wouldn't assume it. And a lot of my thinking is the "I've been there" thing (projecting a bit, I admit) because even at the ugly end of my marriage, I wasn't wanting to cheat, I was in fact actively avoiding sexually cheating on him...but was I receptive to "interest" vibes, flirtation, positive feeling energy or admiration from other dudes? Yeah. Because I was lonely, and sad, otherwise. It's water to a person crawling through and emotional desert. Some players definitely take successful advantage of that, but I don't think it's necessarily a smart or ethical choice. Seems likely to bring drama. And that's all before even considering the fact that the woman in question is a coworker...
Sure, plenty of people do that. They like the ego boost. They don't even have to be "unhappy at home," just enjoy feeling multiple people are into them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray Nathan
So is it any wonder why a lot of men don’t feel particularly attractive? What happened to the whole “just be yourself” thing?
Yes, what indeed? I mean, you give plenty of attention to women who aren't smokin-hot, right? And I don't mean in that condescending "you poor thing" way (newsflash: women see right through that, even if they pretend not to in order to be polite). (It seems all of these incel types like to whine about how they're not attractive enough for women, and then there's a very narrow band of women they're interested in according to attractiveness... and it doesn't occur to them: what would happen if all of the women they're rejecting for not being "pretty enough" acted like they do? Somehow they're never willing to put that sauce on the gander...)
So don't ever care if a women should make men feel better. Nobody cares about making you feel better. Humans are all greedy, when they showed they care they also have a self interest there.
To the contrary, the woman to whom you're in a relationship should make you feel better (and vice versa) - or what's the point, lol?
The problem with the OP is he is placing too much importance on what 'everybody' clicks on or likes in Facebook (which isn't reality) or whether or not there are women who don't like men (it balances out; there are men who don't like women as well or treat them horrifically online). I fail to see how it has any relevance to relationships in general (or to him, specifically) nor does it mean 'nobody cares' or 'everyone is greedy'. That's a preposterous jump.
A lot of women act like they aren’t even attracted to men in general. Studies seem to suggest that over half of women are attracted to other women, even if they identify as straight. Women also seem to expect a lot from guys too and can be quite picky.
There was also an article that claimed that Tinder was destroying men’s self esteem. This is because a lot of men seem to not have success on it or other online dating sites and apps.
So is it any wonder why a lot of men don’t feel particularly attractive? What happened to the whole “just be yourself” thing?
Finally some have asked what I would like to happen. Well, if women liked more men’s pics and posts on Facebook and other social media, that would be nice. The average woman probably gets a lot of pic likes, even from other women and get called gorgeous, beautiful, etc. by other women a lot. Guess how often the average man is considering hot? Also if women were less picky in general, that would be nice. Shout out to the women who curve a lot of nice guys and still end up with the wrong dude.
I "like" posts on the few men's FB pages that I follow. I'm not into social media much at all; mostly to participate in the discussion forums there.
You don't think guys are picky? Guys seem to be a lot more picky than women; more women will give plain, average guys a chance than guys will give average women a chance.
You want women to post on men's FB pages that they're "hot"? Do you have any idea how that would be received?? This point has already been addressed by women AND men on this thread. Re-read the thread.
Men are basically pigs (I'm a man). Also, there are too many men who will misconstrue what a woman is doing by complimenting them as encouragement or a "come on" signal.
Men are afraid that women will laugh at them--women are afraid that men will kill them.
It is what it is: it's no one's responsibility to make you feel better about yourself. That's your job.
That trope is becoming a repetitive cliché at this point.
It clearly comes down to women having bigger social circles and putting better effort into their pictures. With better effort, comes better results. Simple as that.
Everyone, I'm sorry I can't upvote pretty much every post in this thread. Even if I didn't, it's probably because I already repped one of your posts here; I'm mashing that button like an arachnophobe in an insectarium.
And, perhaps women compliment other women because society has this idea that all women are catty toward each other so sometimes we're interested in lifting each other up instead. And perhaps women don't compliment men because men tend to see that as a come-on.
Pretty much. Even if I don't think a man would hit on me if I complimented him, I still don't want him wondering if *I'm* interested.
Oh, is that what this is? The old "I can't get a woman because I'm not attractive enough, it could never be anything like my personality and/or attitude, oh no" trope we see here ad nauseum? I missed that part of his post.
Sure, plenty of people do that. They like the ego boost. They don't even have to be "unhappy at home," just enjoy feeling multiple people are into them.
Yes, what indeed? I mean, you give plenty of attention to women who aren't smokin-hot, right? And I don't mean in that condescending "you poor thing" way (newsflash: women see right through that, even if they pretend not to in order to be polite). (It seems all of these incel types like to whine about how they're not attractive enough for women, and then there's a very narrow band of women they're interested in according to attractiveness... and it doesn't occur to them: what would happen if all of the women they're rejecting for not being "pretty enough" acted like they do? Somehow they're never willing to put that sauce on the gander...)
Re:First Bolded
This is pretty much what it is. I could sense it all over the OP. "Why don't women make men feel good about themselves" clearly came about at least partially because no woman would go out of their way to make him feel good about himself...and of course, he's single.
Re: Second Bolded
According to the incels, even the "unattractive women" are giving them the cold shoulder. Even the "land whales" as they refer to them are treating them like pile of "dirt" that sticks to the pile of their shoes. I mean, that's what I hear from them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I "like" posts on the few men's FB pages that I follow. I'm not into social media much at all; mostly to participate in the discussion forums there.
You don't think guys are picky? Guys seem to be a lot more picky than women; more women will give plain, average guys a chance than guys will give average women a chance.
You want women to post on men's FB pages that they're "hot"? Do you have any idea how that would be received?? This point has already been addressed by women AND men on this thread. Re-read the thread.
According to them, and I've heard plenty of them say this, guys will go even after the not so pretty ladies. Women, even the "unattractive" ones want (I dare not mention the name but it rhymes with Sad)s. And ..ad is giving it out like free candy so the "unattractive" women are waiting along with the "attractive" women to get their turn on the carosal. They are all just gathered around and on their knees waiting for..."Fad"
No woman has ever given the incels any type of positive attention. Even their mothers told them that they are the most hideous thing that they have ever seen.
Again, that is what they are saying, not me. I'm just a messenger.
Remember, I'm drowning in attention from women even as a more tan Pilsbury Doughboy.
These guys must be horribly, Horribly, HORRIBLY disfigured. In that case, I am sad for them. But typically, you hang with one of those guys, you find something really off about them that is not their looks.
Humans deserve compliments. YMMV, depending on the human, male or female.
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