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"Watch what people do, not what they say" has been my most valuable lesson.
A lot of what I was taught by teachers and other adults benefitted them more than me.
They wanted docile children who obeyed but I learned a lot about what not to do by observing other people.
I see many people that believe what someone says: that a pill will make them lose weight, that a get rich quick scheme will make them money, that a President will make their lives better.
Everyone is looking out for themselves.
I worked hard and got lucky. Others worked hard and didn't get lucky because cards were against them from the getgo.
My second best advice (to myself) has always been "What's the worst that can happen?"
Met my husband that way. Got into grad school that way. Lots more.
I have always been willing to take chances if no physical injury or great loss of money happens.
I'm always willing to fail and/or look stupid. We have one life, go for as much as possible and legal.
"Watch what people do, not what they say" has been my most valuable lesson.
This is a good one. Kind of a variant of "actions speak louder than words". People say a lot of meaningless things and make a lot of declarations they don't follow through on. I'll believe it when I see it happen.
Also, confidence does not equal competence. Any time someone states something questionable as fact, I usually respond with something non-committal ("hmmm, is that right, I hadn't heard that") rather than affirm what they said ("wow, that's amazing").
These three changed the way I thought about things and how I approach life.
-You're 100% responsible for everything that happens to you. (I've heard of different variations of this and made it my motto to be responsible for my own actions and not blame other people but I heard this quote the other day and it summed up my beliefs about taking responsibility nicely. I don't agree with the 100% part, maybe 98% after you were born and are an adult)
-It's better to full ass something than to half-ass two things. (a previous teacher told me this when I went to him for advice. He got it from Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec)
-Bad situations are situational.
And these have helped me a lot too as I was growing up:
-If you can be anything, be kind.
-Journal.
-You can't change people so don't bother.
-Find the humor during hard times
-It's better to full ass something than to half-ass two things. (a previous teacher told me this when I went to him for advice. He got it from Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec)
I recently heard "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly", which is sort of the opposite of this, but has helped me at least do SOMETHING (i.e. vacuum some of the room) rather than avoid stuff if I'm not up to doing it perfectly (i.e. vacuum every single square inch of the room).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriella Geramia
-Bad situations are situational.
"This too shall pass" - another good one from my mom, which I try to remember during frustrating or negative situations.
When I was around 17 or so I received some advice that even 33 years later I often think about it and think it was probably a good bit of wisdom. I think more importantly it was something that stuck with me. That probably is more the focus of this thread. What advice did you receive if any that has stuck with you for a long time or something you can remember as being pivotal to some degree.
(snip)
Does anyone have something like that, some kind of advice or words of wisdom that sticks out in their minds, something that resonated and stayed with you for a long time??
Sometimes good topics on here, the simple things. Like this one.
My dad was of slightly above average intelligence. Working Class, having the luck to be born in the country that won a devastating war (WW II) relatively unscathed, physically if not emotionally, there was plenty of high paying work available for him in the 1950s absent higher ed.
He graduated night school for his BS in his 40s, and his Master's just before 50. In the 1980s, the bit flipped, as the JPN drove us into the group and Chrysler declared bankruptcy (Reagan saved them, to this day I'm not sure that was a great idea). Quite the wake up call for the USA, but did we learn anything....?
Dad was obsolete when RIF'd at age 60 or 61, in 1990. The world had moved on. A computer to him was diodes and circuits, not microchips. 100 megabyte storage was big news. He took it with grace and had the money, too so it wasn't that big a problem. Wish he could have gone his way, though.
I completed my Masters, two of them, in my 30s and 40s. I have an Ivy Master's and another from the No. 1 business school in Canada (Smith). Guessing I'm not stupid, and know good advice when I hear it. My dad had a sense of humor but no time for blue sky...none, zero. He started in on me with 1-liners when I was young enough. He meant them though passed them off as jokes.
"A 'tip?' I'll give you a tip, son: stay single!" == Very few can do this. I have, due to my Asperger-y disposition, so I don't have 1-2 divorces under my belt, nor am I broke, nor do I have bloodsucking children. I'm going to retire rich, frankly, in 8-10 years 'maybe' (up to me).
"Don't lose your head over a piece of tail!" == identical notes to above.
"End of the day, the only one who cares most about (BB) is (BB) == don't go all-in on others to save you, or sacrifice everything for you. Kids do that, they don't know better.
"Pay yourself first!" == aka cashflow, try not to be a slave to debt.
I think that's enough, I've built decent wealth and total life contentment on the above.
I had a mentor of sorts in high school, a salty old guy from New Jersey I used to talk to who worked there, and there was one time I was telling him some excuse for some teenage shenanigans I'd gotten up to and he said, "Lie to other people if you must, but never, ever lie to yourself."
I have a whole different philosophy on honesty with other people these days, and that's another story, but the part about being honest...even brutally honest...with myself, about myself, about my motivations, in what I tell myself in my head about all sorts of things... Everything from holding myself accountable, to being self aware and trying to figure out my own psychology... I think I'll be able to hear his voice in my head saying that for all my days.
This isn't advice exactly, but when I was a kid my dad often said "your legs aren't painted on". ( I always knew that it meant you should get off your butt and take care of things yourself, but it wasn't until I was 9 or 10 that I figured out the literal meaning. haha) I figure that this attitude he imparted is one of the reasons I've always been a take-charge sort of person.
When I was a young adult and having financial issues, he told me "Never ignore someone you owe money to". Would have been nice if he told me that before I panicked and defaulted on $4,000 of student loans, but I took it to heart and have been responsible with my money ever since.
My Grand-mother, who died at 102, told me when I was in high school; You will not die one second before, or after, there is space available for you, so go on and have fun, BUT BE GOOD!!
Someone once told me that mothers always love their children more than they could ever love her back. I couldn't believe it for years, but now, as a parent, I realize it's totally true.
Maybe. I was nearly inconsolable when my mother died. My father had died years before, and I no longer had a mom. My husband died three years before she did.
We talked nearly every day.
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