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I totally understand where you are coming from. Why do you think you have a lack of success do you think? For me I do get matches and have potential to date however its usually girls who are not very attractive. Girls have told me I am good looking, I have a decent job now (registered nurse) so I can support myself, I work out regularly, I dress decently, I have had girlfriends (maybe out of luck) in the past but it seems the girls that show me interest are usually really overweight, not college educated, not attractive looking and work a dead end job/have kids. I don't think I am that picky, but man the pickings are not really good.
I think part my problem is I don't go on dates a lot nor do I ask girls out on dates. I am introverted person. People told me that I can come across as cold and not friendly which I believe is true. I think I just need to put myself out there more and just date for fun. I always think that if you got a good job and are a comfortable place in life then it would be much easier to date especially as a man. They say men age like wine.
Smile as much as practicable and be an easy laugher.
Learn to enjoy being by yourself. Trust me, that's not going to go away. Might as well learn how to be by yourself. And it'll be more fun once you have disposable income.
Smile as much as practicable and be an easy laugher.
People are attracted to that.
This was definitely the case for me. When I met my (now) husband at a friend's barbecue, I remember thinking, wow this guy sure does like to laugh; he must really enjoy life. We didn't get together that night, but when he did reach out to me later and ask me out, that's what I remembered.
Gonna tell you the truth as a 35 year old man. This is a really cold world, especially for men. What we typically have to look forward to is being alone...at best. Then there are people out there who will pretend to be your friend, but are actually just wanting to use you and hurt you in some way. Then eventually, you realize through observation that most of the world is fake anyway, and even the people who have an "entourage" do not really have it better. The people surrounding them are mostly pretending and either using that person for part of the glory, or are secretly plotting something on that person to tear him down...or both. The worst part is that you always find out even if you don't want to. At least being alone, you have a chance at peace.
FeistyCar, you seem to get interest from women. So you can actually put yourself out there more and find ways to come across warmer. And actually make the effort to ask women out. As you said, you work out and dress decently, so that is pretty much all you need. You'll still get rejections, but you'll also have women that will go out with you. I myself get interest from women, but I don't like where I am. And my condition and position will bring a lot of harm to any potential relationships so I am working on that first.
Thanks for the help. Yeah I agree with your fake friends thing. I think the world is a lot harsher on us guys because we are disposable. Girls tend to get the easier end of the schtick. Yeah I get interest in women, but usually its not the girls I want. Then again its my fault too cause I am too shy to go after the ones I want because they are "out of my league." I think I just need to be more positive and inviting. Enjoy the process and just have fun with trying to date and make things happen. Not just waiting for things to come to me.
We as men are raised to believe this....get good job and get established, stay in shape, and women will flock to you. Totally wrong. Its a complete myth. The rules change daily it seems. I have my stuff together and it just doesn't happen. I'm also an introvert (and shy) like you, so I don't approach a woman cold.
I have similar issues in that its almost always uneducated and/or overweight women who are interested in me. Nope, I'd rather be alone than be mismatched, as lonely as it is.
Yup I mean I could date right now depending on how low my standards are lol. Part of the reason why I am lonely atm. I am not even that picky i dont think!
Smile as much as practicable and be an easy laugher.
People are attracted to that.
Yeah I think I am going to start smiling more and being more inviting. Maybe strike small conversations instead of just being always straight business.
This was definitely the case for me. When I met my (now) husband at a friend's barbecue, I remember thinking, wow this guy sure does like to laugh; he must really enjoy life. We didn't get together that night, but when he did reach out to me later and ask me out, that's what I remembered.
Thanks for the help. Yeah I agree with your fake friends thing. I think the world is a lot harsher on us guys because we are disposable. Girls tend to get the easier end of the schtick. Yeah I get interest in women, but usually its not the girls I want. Then again its my fault too cause I am too shy to go after the ones I want because they are "out of my league." I think I just need to be more positive and inviting. Enjoy the process and just have fun with trying to date and make things happen. Not just waiting for things to come to me.
One thing I have learned in experience is that you never know who is "in your league". I've had women who I thought would've never given me a second glance pursue me. If I were to post my picture on a rate me site, I would get a 2.3/10. At best, I would be a 3.5 or a 4 (that is if I got in shape), and I had women who turn heads.
The world is harder on us guys for a lot of reasons.
For what it's worth, I'm not likely to approach women. I thought about it, but I would go for "good enough" only to be stopped by "HOLY SMOKES!!! DID I JUST FALL ASLEEP OR SOMETHING?!!"
But one thing I am doing is pursuing finance. Pursuing work.
One thing I have learned in experience is that you never know who is "in your league". I've had women who I thought would've never given me a second glance pursue me. If I were to post my picture on a rate me site, I would get a 2.3/10. At best, I would be a 3.5 or a 4 (that is if I got in shape), and I had women who turn heads.
The world is harder on us guys for a lot of reasons.
For what it's worth, I'm not likely to approach women. I thought about it, but I would go for "good enough" only to be stopped by "HOLY SMOKES!!! DID I JUST FALL ASLEEP OR SOMETHING?!!"
But one thing I am doing is pursuing finance. Pursuing work.
And with dating, make it fun.
yeah that is my main motivation at the moment is pursuing finance and to get financial independence. Feel like women should come secondary that has always been my mentality, but at a certain point it be nice to be in a loving relationship. World is tougher when you have to go through it alone.
Smile as much as practicable and be an easy laugher.
People are attracted to that.
That's true. It's even worth practicing your smile in a mirror so you can be confident you don't look creepy.
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