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Location: New Albany, Indiana (Greater Louisville)
11,974 posts, read 25,476,450 times
Reputation: 12187
For me a lot of it is about control. I could handle having a low income and spartan housing if I am in control of my destiny. Most difficult parts of my life was about others being able to control me.
During the recession I flunked out of school and then couldn't even get an interview at fast food. I moved in with family. I was never hungry and was given money to eat out, I did all household chores and yard work. But they made me get rid of a dog and cat I loved dearly. Not a thing I could do about it.
Rock bottom has nothing to do with money.
People in poverty but with a strong spiritual life are insulated from hitting rock bottom.
I'd say you're on track to hit rock bottom....and you'll be the last to know.
As someone who is such as you described. I agree in my case. I'n in poverty and I have what I consider a strong spiritual life.
I think it depends on what you mean by "rock bottom."
My own depression has hit rock bottom recently, but overall my life, while has its problems, isn't that bad. Homelessness and lack of any social connections would likely be physical rock bottom.
Looks like as long as I exist, there is no rock bottom for me. I have been on the streets, in hospital wards, verbally attacked, beaten, stolen from, ignored, avoided, deceived, hated, and more. In all of that, I have never given up as much to say that I hit rock bottom.
I had to hit rock bottom in my relationship with my Ex. Even after we broke up, I wasn't there yet. I was trying to be cool and negotiate our parting of ways somehow, I was waiting to find out what would be OK for him, waiting for him to find work, waiting for an easy exit plan that would work out for everyone. Meanwhile he wasn't working, we were living on credit cards...I was living in a separate room in the basement, and he was still demanding that I sit in the garage and listen to him rant and ramble and monologue while chain smoking for hours. So I started avoiding home, because whenever I was there, I felt "chained" in that garage. (I did not want to spend time inside the household with him following me around ranting where the kids could hear, so the garage was the alternative.) He and I both got into online dating. I would go out and meet people, I started spending time with new friends, new partners, but only ever outside the house. My kids didn't meet them; my Ex didn't meet them. He, on the other hand, was getting with these seriously sketchy women, addicts, prostitutes, you name it...and he'd bring them to the house. Finally he found this woman in another state who was in her own kind of rock bottom place, in an abusive relationship. He persuaded her that our home would be a safe place to flee to, with her kids. She loaded a trailer, and brought out a bunch of junk, and her 5 year old and her 17 year old, who was a violent psycho to rival my Ex... And 4 unfixed dogs and a pregnant cat.
I was the only income, already struggling to support myself, my Ex, our two sons and one cat, and now this? And her family immediately started trashing the place. It was a train wreck. I think it was maybe two weeks into this madness that I told them all, "You've got one month, you both need jobs and to figure out what you're doing, because I am leaving. I'm done." My younger son definitely had to come with me, the older one could choose because he was 15 and that's old enough to have a voice in such matters. Also, he was very good at avoiding his Dad. He wanted to stay behind because he wanted to finish at his high school where his fiance was and his friends. He later did wind up bouncing around from a family friend's house down in that area, to living with me during summers and after graduation, and both sons wound up living with me.
I'd dealt with a lot of crazy already by that point, but that put it all just...over the edge. It no longer mattered, being all civil and trying to negotiate something good and workable. I just had to go.
For me
Rock bottom is when I felt real big and chubby
I knew that wasn’t the real me
I got sick from being overweight one day while binging on food
I just laid there not able to get up or exercise
That was the worst feeling ever
Tears rolled down my eyes
I wanted to eat more but my body couldn’t keep up
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