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Old 05-01-2020, 01:10 PM
 
10,225 posts, read 7,610,852 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic Waltz View Post
Women are so beautiful that it's easy to understand how even some women would be attracted to them.
Beauty or ugliness or plainness has nothing to do with whether a person is gay or heterosexual or bisexual. I can see and appreciate that another woman is beautiful. That does not make me become attracted to her romantically or sexually. I may wish i looked like that, though!

But even if one were to be attracted to the same gender, looks don't matter that much. Look at all the people we are married to or going with. Most are ordinary looking people.

Women are not as visually oriented as men are. So when men say "women look so great that I can see why other women would want a romantic relationship with them!" they are speaking of their own feelings toward those women. Men being much more visual than women. That's why there are countless magazines & websites catering to that visual thing.
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Old 05-01-2020, 02:55 PM
 
9,868 posts, read 7,731,890 times
Reputation: 22130
It does seem that men express more revulsion at gay sex than women do.

I think the reason is that many men are fixated on the physical aspects of specific sex acts. Possibly, they view sex as a dominance thing, and to be the, um, receiver, is felt as being female/subservient/not top dog.

Get OVER it, guys.
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Old 05-01-2020, 03:14 PM
 
Location: planet earth
8,620 posts, read 5,671,076 times
Reputation: 19645
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You realize that's not typical OR healthy OR representative of all gay men, right?
Of course.

I just described my experience with a very good friend and his group of friends - which took place over years. I saw my friend, daily (we worked together and got together out-of-work, as well).
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Old 05-01-2020, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,421,064 times
Reputation: 50386
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
That's a stretch for justifying someone who's saying that the only reason straight men associate with women is for sex and/or affection.
No - I'm saying applies - for a few people...I don't buy the need for unconscious misogyny and patriarchy to explain those cases.
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Old 05-01-2020, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,421,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Beauty or ugliness or plainness has nothing to do with whether a person is gay or heterosexual or bisexual. I can see and appreciate that another woman is beautiful. That does not make me become attracted to her romantically or sexually. I may wish i looked like that, though!

But even if one were to be attracted to the same gender, looks don't matter that much. Look at all the people we are married to or going with. Most are ordinary looking people.

Women are not as visually oriented as men are. So when men say "women look so great that I can see why other women would want a romantic relationship with them!" they are speaking of their own feelings toward those women. Men being much more visual than women. That's why there are countless magazines & websites catering to that visual thing.
To me it speaks more about guys not being able to get outside their OWN heads and actually empathize - "ggeeezzz...I like women's bodies so of course women like other women's bodies, duh!"...duh, indeed. But no, good looks is irrelevant when it comes down to the most basic sexuality definitions. Maybe how easily you socialize and therefore can get sex, yeah, looks can make a difference in how you hook up to get sex.
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Old 05-01-2020, 06:46 PM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,247,016 times
Reputation: 15315
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Beauty or ugliness or plainness has nothing to do with whether a person is gay or heterosexual or bisexual. I can see and appreciate that another woman is beautiful. That does not make me become attracted to her romantically or sexually. I may wish i looked like that, though!

But even if one were to be attracted to the same gender, looks don't matter that much. Look at all the people we are married to or going with. Most are ordinary looking people.

Women are not as visually oriented as men are. So when men say "women look so great that I can see why other women would want a romantic relationship with them!" they are speaking of their own feelings toward those women. Men being much more visual than women. That's why there are countless magazines & websites catering to that visual thing.
I wonder though... maybe it's that women have been socialized to not be "too superficial", and put attractiveness on a lower pedestal. Maybe we are as visually-oriented, but keep it to ourselves more because we are conditioned to.
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Old 05-01-2020, 07:18 PM
 
28,697 posts, read 18,854,429 times
Reputation: 31004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
I wonder though... maybe it's that women have been socialized to not be "too superficial", and put attractiveness on a lower pedestal. Maybe we are as visually-oriented, but keep it to ourselves more because we are conditioned to.

Depends on what you mean by "visually oriented."


For males, visual stimulation with no other context can be enough to provoke sexual arousal all the way to climax. For women it seems to be only one factor, and nowhere near the major factor.
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Old 05-01-2020, 07:26 PM
 
37,682 posts, read 46,114,125 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
I wonder though... maybe it's that women have been socialized to not be "too superficial", and put attractiveness on a lower pedestal. Maybe we are as visually-oriented, but keep it to ourselves more because we are conditioned to.
That's not what is meant by being "more visually oriented".
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Old 05-02-2020, 01:43 AM
 
Location: West Seattle
6,404 posts, read 5,045,188 times
Reputation: 8512
Sometimes psychological phenomena have indirect evolutionary benefits. Here's my theory for why this difference exists.

Women seem to usually lose interest in a man quickly when they find out that he has had homosexual experiences --- this is probably because a gay or bisexual man is seen as more feminine, and therefore weak, and therefore not a good provider for the woman. Straight men usually aren't turned off at all if a woman has had sex with other women.

Anyway, this means straight men have a strong incentive to not "look gay". My theory is that this primal homophobia in a lot of straight men is evolution's way of making sure that they act as straight as possible, through feeling disgust at homosexuality. Now, maybe if a guy is viciously, loudly homophobic, then that's not attractive to women, but the genes that cause slight degrees of homophobia in men are still reproductively advantageous.
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Old 05-02-2020, 02:45 AM
 
Location: Germany
722 posts, read 431,510 times
Reputation: 1914
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTimidBlueBars View Post
Sometimes psychological phenomena have indirect evolutionary benefits. Here's my theory for why this difference exists.

Women seem to usually lose interest in a man quickly when they find out that he has had homosexual experiences --- this is probably because a gay or bisexual man is seen as more feminine, and therefore weak, and therefore not a good provider for the woman. Straight men usually aren't turned off at all if a woman has had sex with other women.

Anyway, this means straight men have a strong incentive to not "look gay". My theory is that this primal homophobia in a lot of straight men is evolution's way of making sure that they act as straight as possible, through feeling disgust at homosexuality. Now, maybe if a guy is viciously, loudly homophobic, then that's not attractive to women, but the genes that cause slight degrees of homophobia in men are still reproductively advantageous.
I think I either misunderstood something or you expressed something false - are you saying that women in general choose more masculine men because they think women are weak? cause I don't believe that to be true at all.
I think women that lose interest in a man just because he is bisexual are just insecure. Of course it's a different case if the man is closeted bisexual, because then the maturity of the person comes into question and it becomes more complex.

For straight men I think the only incentive to not "look gay" is because of what other people they say.

I think all of the unfortunate things that you mentioned can be merely explained with a loooot of years of patriarchy that is thankfully turning into a more balanced form of society.
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