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Old 08-15-2023, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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It's not a huge stretch to assume that many bisexual men are not out to others or even themselves because of both internal and external stigmas about sex and masculinity.
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Old 08-15-2023, 12:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sundestroyer View Post
This is purely anecdotal but I've been thinking about how it may be true. Talking to men/women I know in real life and reading peoples responses on sexuality, it seems that when straight people of gender are asked about fantasies with the same gender, men express disgust and women seem to be mostly neutral about it.

Is there an evolutionary reason for this or is it just indoctrination? Is the masculinity of men seen as more fragile and thus they instinctively feel disgust.
I know this is an old thread, but interesting topic. I think that there is a lot of factors that go into it. There are some men that are disgusted by watching two men go at it but are not as disgusted watching lesbians be lesbians among other things. I'm not sure on how women on average feel about it. But given how society is, I could see them being mostly neutral about it or at least neutral about lesbians. I'm not sure how they feel about two men together.

I think a lot of it has to do with how they are socialized or "indoctrinated". Men are not socialized to be as affectionate towards each other as women are (from my observation).
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Old 08-15-2023, 12:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by considerforamoment View Post
I do feel men are more fearful of being thought of as homosexual. I believe all people are "bi" at some level - so maybe some men are freaked out if they have ever felt any attraction for another man? Just a guess.
Interesting...

I don't consider myself "bi" and I've never felt any attraction to another man. However, I can often tell who would have an easier time finding someone. I could see a man and think, "Yeah, he would easily find a woman who wants to be with him. But that's about it.
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Old 08-15-2023, 01:30 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
There are some men that are disgusted by watching two men go at it but are not as disgusted watching lesbians be lesbians among other things.
This is because it involves women, and we’re attracted to a woman’s body. That said, we’re not attracted to all (types of) women; as such, I think this point is often exaggerated.
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Old 08-15-2023, 02:12 PM
 
Location: In your head
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I suspect that some empaths might be generally aroused by the pleasure sought by others, regardless of sex or orientation.
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Old 08-16-2023, 09:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann View Post
I think straight men might get turned on by the thought of two lesbians having sex, but some are repulsed (using the OP's word) by thinking about two men having sex (in the back door)

I think straight women don't get turned on thinking about two men, two women or a man and woman having sex. None of those repulse them, they just don't care one way or another.
There are some straight women, particularly in Japan, that watch yaoi. So, I'd say it is likely at least some straight women do get turned on by seeing two men, even if it is just a fantasy. They might feel not threatened by a gay man because gay men cliche generally can be more feminine and emotional.
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Old 08-16-2023, 09:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Robert&Ripley View Post
[/b]

Elaborate.

And knock once.

https://thecinemaholic.com/brad-mcga...id-kinney-now/
Sad, but true story.
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Old 08-16-2023, 09:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
. . .

Oh, and the ex I mentioned earlier...he also said I was "allowed" to have sex with other women while we were married because another woman "doesn't count" as cheating and "isn't a threat." Complete with the predictable follow up of, "I wanna watch." You want to talk about DISGUST? I felt a lot of disgust with that. A whole lot. And I refused to be part of any such thing.
Some guys might not feel threatened by a woman to be with another woman because they might imagine that they might have a chance to be with both women at the same time, and there's nothing that can really penetrate the spouse except for the man himself.
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Old 08-16-2023, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,444 posts, read 14,764,746 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chessimprov View Post
Some guys might not feel threatened by a woman to be with another woman because they might imagine that they might have a chance to be with both women at the same time, and there's nothing that can really penetrate the spouse except for the man himself.
And some women (me) feel that this is dehumanizing to the women, particularly the "unicorn" (the 3rd) who is treated like a toy and not a person. I mean, what if she isn't into the husband eh? It's pretty common. In some alt-sexual circles we had problems with a couple where the man was manipulative and controlling and got his wife or gf to try to seduce other women and essentially procure them for him to have fun with, when that is not what said women wanted at all. Of course once people catch on to the scheme, the couple is usually shunned from the group, but it is a thing I've seen.

And what the heck do you mean "nothing that can really penetrate the spouse?" LOL! Women tend to get off more reliably having fun with other women, than with men. And there's hardly a need for a man's whatsit given all of the products out there for sale these days.

I dunno, I think it's fine that men find it arousing to see women with women. I'm not hating on that or yucking anybody's yum. I just find it nasty when guys try to construct all this logic to explain why the thing they like is objectively perfectly normal, good, fine, and anything they don't like is bad and should be stamped out or at least closeted. To me it's a whole power play as though one kind of people should be allowed to dictate reality all around them based on their own personal kinks. The explanations are not necessary. You are no more or less justified about finding this sort of thing arousing, than a world full of people who like whatever they like.

But for my ex to think I was less likely to leave him for a woman than a man was RIDICULOUS. For him to think that he had a right to tell me who I could be attracted to, who I was "allowed" to cheat with or not, or that this person "counts as cheating" and that one doesn't based on the mere fact that he found one sexy and another not so much... No thanks.

I know that many women are also put off by gay male activities, I am not. In fact, with the caveat that I enjoy scenes of passion and not so much mechanical porny-porn type visuals...I really do like seeing men with men. I do think it's hot. Do I get a right to tell my husband that I'd be excited to watch him make out with a guy, but if it were a woman I'd be upset? For ANY reason, do I get to pressure him in that direction? I'm gonna say no. I'm very sure that he wouldn't appreciate it one bit.
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Old 08-16-2023, 10:07 AM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,773 posts, read 3,938,921 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chessimprov View Post
Some guys might not feel threatened by a woman to be with another woman because they might imagine that they might have a chance to be with both women at the same time, and there's nothing that can really penetrate the spouse except for the man himself.
If I’m expected to be loyal to a woman within the context of a committed relationship, I expect her loyalty in return. If a woman wants to continue having sex with women, then why get married to a man? Stay single and do your thing.

That said, sex with two women at the same time does not qualify as homosexuality for a man.
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