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Old 08-17-2023, 12:44 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
8,433 posts, read 3,692,094 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
What I find more interesting is not the surface question itself but the deeper question of why...what underlying psychological and sociological stuff is the driver for a feeling of disgust about the concept?
You have to make the distinction between what one feels in regard to their own interest/desire vs. disgust toward homosexual persons, as a whole. Everyone, at some point or another, has been disgusted by the thought of sex with certain persons relative to obesity, attitude, whatever (no matter sexual orientation). Hence, it’s just a matter of what we’re attracted to (or not).

That said, if it’s disgust re: homosexuality (or heterosexuality), as a whole, it’s rooted in self-centered thinking. It’s really no different than those who aggressively (attempt to) impede others’ rights (and attack opinion) relative to politics, atheism, masculinity/femininity, religion, and so on i.e. live and let live. It’s certainly not an issue unique to homosexuality; it’s part of a far bigger picture.
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Old 08-17-2023, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,201 posts, read 14,421,540 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
You have to make the distinction between what one feels in regard to their own interest/desire vs. disgust toward homosexual persons, as a whole. Everyone, at some point or another, has been disgusted by the thought of sex with certain persons relative to obesity, attitude, whatever (no matter sexual orientation). Hence, it’s just a matter of what we’re attracted to (or not).

That said, if it’s disgust re: homosexuality (or heterosexuality), as a whole, it’s rooted in self-centered thinking. It’s really no different than those who aggressively (attempt to) impede others’ rights (and attack opinion) relative to politics, atheism, masculinity/femininity, religion, and so on i.e. live and let live. It’s certainly not an issue unique to homosexuality; it’s part of a far bigger picture.
I find myself in agreement with you.

And I would say that I don't even feel a particular need to push back on anyone's feelings, such as disgust, about whatever...people gonna feel whatever they feel... It is a sense of entitlement in conjunction with that self centeredness you mention in your second paragraph, to think as though one is entitled to use their feelings and preferences to dictate objective right and wrong for everybody, rather than just managing their own business. Beyond of course the legitimate defense of those being exploited or harmed or violated, or who didn't or cannot consent.
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Old 08-18-2023, 01:01 AM
 
4,624 posts, read 2,159,615 times
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In my experience but it's about 50/50 but the reactions are different.

I had a lot of people both men and women question me when I came out because up until that point they thought I was straight. Some of these people lied known all my life so I don't include them.

We're just going to go with random strangers. I told coworkers before they Don't Really ever seem to care if they do there's a little bit of curiosity. That's about 50/50. I've had a couple of guys ask me if I thought they were attractive I don't answer that question. It's a trap.

In general I don't encounter people being disgusted it might be because of my stature.
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Old 08-18-2023, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Germany
716 posts, read 419,246 times
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In my experience, the men that don't like gay men are more openly disapproving of gay male sexual activity (or even the notion of it) than women about gay women.
Though I must say women seemed to be more off-put about a partner having sexual experience with other guys than men with their female partners (and sexual experience with women).
On the gay spectrum I've only ever discussed the perception of the partner sexuality with other gay men (if for example their partner was bisexual if they would be ok with it) and the responses were mixed (from "eew no" to "why would I have a problem with it). Interestingly enough (for me anyway:P) the negative came from the most part from feminine gay men (again, as far as my perception goes).
I wonder if it's just a feeling of threat. Either about being turned on or being flirted with from someone you don't like back, or in the bisexual example a fear of losing your partner to someone you can't "compete" with.
Sorry if I went a bit off-topic, to me the situations sound alike as far as feelings go.
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Old 08-20-2023, 01:52 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
6,895 posts, read 5,792,091 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
You have to make the distinction between what one feels in regard to their own interest/desire vs. disgust toward homosexual persons, as a whole. Everyone, at some point or another, has been disgusted by the thought of sex with certain persons relative to obesity, attitude, whatever (no matter sexual orientation). Hence, it’s just a matter of what we’re attracted to (or not).

That said, if it’s disgust re: homosexuality (or heterosexuality), as a whole, it’s rooted in self-centered thinking. It’s really no different than those who aggressively (attempt to) impede others’ rights (and attack opinion) relative to politics, atheism, masculinity/femininity, religion, and so on i.e. live and let live. It’s certainly not an issue unique to homosexuality; it’s part of a far bigger picture.
Yeah, I was going to say, there's a huge difference between "I am disgusted by the idea of ME having sex with another man" versus being disgusted by the existence of homosexuals or homosexuality. I mean, that's kinda how orientation works. If you're a 100% straight man, you're probably going to be indifferent to or turned off by sex with men, just as a 100% gay female would be. But it doesn't naturally follow that you'll associate that same "yuck" with gay men in general unless you've suffered a failure to fully develop a theory of mind.
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Old 09-16-2023, 11:45 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post
If you're a 100% straight man, you're probably going to be indifferent to or turned off by sex with men, just as a 100% gay female would be. But it doesn't naturally follow that you'll associate that same "yuck" with gay men in general unless you've suffered a failure to fully develop a theory of mind.
More simply put, it’s a matter of tolerance for those who aren’t like us (as well as a recognition of/respect for others’ rights). At any rate, it’s not my business nor do I care if they are gay.

That said, a strong theory of mind plays an important role relative to social relationships and solving interpersonal conflicts. Hence the reason deficits relative to such are often seen in autism and associated disorders.
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Old 09-17-2023, 12:56 PM
 
3,264 posts, read 2,300,474 times
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As a male, I am repulsed at the idea. Not homophobic. Just disgusted at the thought. I could never imagine kissing a man. I would probably puke in their mouth. I find it more natural for women to be with other women but that may be from reading Playboy and Penthouse letters.
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Old 09-18-2023, 01:48 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
8,433 posts, read 3,692,094 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trusso11783 View Post
I find it more natural for women to be with other women but that may be from reading Playboy and Penthouse letters.
From my perspective, it’s illogical to suggest homosexuality is more natural if it’s two women vs. two men; obviously, heterosexuality is the ‘natural desire’ based on innate biological factors. Relative to such, as a heterosexual man, of course we’re more visually attracted to/interested in watching two beautiful women together yet repulsed at the thought of (watching) two men.
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Old 09-18-2023, 03:44 PM
 
702 posts, read 455,999 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trusso11783 View Post
As a male, I am repulsed at the idea. Not homophobic. Just disgusted at the thought. I could never imagine kissing a man. I would probably puke in their mouth. I find it more natural for women to be with other women but that may be from reading Playboy and Penthouse letters.
There are women who are just as repulsed at romantically kissing another woman as you would be kissing a man.

I have known straight women who like watching men romantically kiss each other.

I think sex and romance is all a bit silly, so ...

Take care
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Old 09-19-2023, 03:01 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,023 posts, read 9,979,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trusso11783 View Post
As a male, I am repulsed at the idea. Not homophobic. Just disgusted at the thought. I could never imagine kissing a man. I would probably puke in their mouth. I find it more natural for women to be with other women but that may be from reading Playboy and Penthouse letters.
The opposite is true as well. I have female friends who are repulsed by the idea of being with another woman.

But why is it such a strong response from men?

My personal take.

We as men are repulsed by it because that is how we are programmed from a very young age. Boys are raised to earn/value respect and pursue a purpose in life which generally means building a successful family. Society in general doesn't not respect homosexuality and society generally messages that building a healthy family is impossible among homosexual males. Girls are raised to value security and companionship both of which can be found among homosexual women; today even more so.

For the same reason society looks down on boys playing with dolls and we push them towards more boy-related play; often related to professions; construction toys etc. Society is less harsh on girls playing with toys usually associated with boys; trucks for example. In other words, society is more tolerant of some masculine aspects appearing in girls as long as they maintain some aspects of feminity. The opposite isn't true because it counters what society's views on a successful future male earning respect and purpose.
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