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Old 09-26-2023, 10:06 PM
 
1,701 posts, read 781,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bootsamillion View Post
Sorry. LOL. Thought you were a guy, and if ANY guy "flirts" with another guy, he is GAY. Flaming Nellie, whatever you want to call it.

I do think that women are "gay" if they are only attracted to other women and not any man. A woman that is attracted to both is usually called... a woman. It's not as wierd as a guy with a guy!! Bi-sexual as a woman is no big deal. However, if a man wants another man like that? That's just gay.
Homosexuality is very pervasive in those who have been incarcerated, about 1 in every 3 black men and about 1 in every 6 Latinos will do time at some point in their lives. Many of them have either been “turned out” or have a “prison wife” before getting out and going back to their girlfriend/wife/baby-mama. They wouldn’t consider what you’ve said here to be the case. But, I’d invite you to share your thoughts about it with some of them (should you ever get an opportunity) to get some actual feedback.
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Old 09-26-2023, 10:10 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,658 posts, read 3,853,671 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bootsamillion View Post
I personally don't believe in "bi-sexual". You are either straight or gay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bootsamillion View Post
Bi-sexual as a woman is no big deal. However, if a man wants another man like that? That's just gay.
If a woman wants another woman (particularly if it doesn’t involve her heterosexual partner), isn’t that gay too? Your posts are contradictory.
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Old 09-29-2023, 09:27 AM
 
2,555 posts, read 2,677,377 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
And some women (me) feel that this is dehumanizing to the women, particularly the "unicorn" (the 3rd) who is treated like a toy and not a person. I mean, what if she isn't into the husband eh? It's pretty common. In some alt-sexual circles we had problems with a couple where the man was manipulative and controlling and got his wife or gf to try to seduce other women and essentially procure them for him to have fun with, when that is not what said women wanted at all. Of course once people catch on to the scheme, the couple is usually shunned from the group, but it is a thing I've seen.

And what the heck do you mean "nothing that can really penetrate the spouse?" LOL! Women tend to get off more reliably having fun with other women, than with men. And there's hardly a need for a man's whatsit given all of the products out there for sale these days.

I dunno, I think it's fine that men find it arousing to see women with women. I'm not hating on that or yucking anybody's yum. I just find it nasty when guys try to construct all this logic to explain why the thing they like is objectively perfectly normal, good, fine, and anything they don't like is bad and should be stamped out or at least closeted. To me it's a whole power play as though one kind of people should be allowed to dictate reality all around them based on their own personal kinks. The explanations are not necessary. You are no more or less justified about finding this sort of thing arousing, than a world full of people who like whatever they like.

But for my ex to think I was less likely to leave him for a woman than a man was RIDICULOUS. For him to think that he had a right to tell me who I could be attracted to, who I was "allowed" to cheat with or not, or that this person "counts as cheating" and that one doesn't based on the mere fact that he found one sexy and another not so much... No thanks.

I know that many women are also put off by gay male activities, I am not. In fact, with the caveat that I enjoy scenes of passion and not so much mechanical porny-porn type visuals...I really do like seeing men with men. I do think it's hot. Do I get a right to tell my husband that I'd be excited to watch him make out with a guy, but if it were a woman I'd be upset? For ANY reason, do I get to pressure him in that direction? I'm gonna say no. I'm very sure that he wouldn't appreciate it one bit.
Points taken. What I meant by "nothing that can really penetrate the spouse?" , i should have delved deeper and explicated that some people only want "the real thing" in them because it's just a different feeling to some. This might be arguably psychological moreso than anything, but it is what it is.

Any type of potential relationship, especially if multiple partners involved, should be a discussion in what's okay and not with everyone involved. Of course, that doesn't happen 99.99999%because too many people are selfish and someone gets too left out 99.999% even if they don't have to be left out.
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Old 10-02-2023, 07:47 AM
 
Location: NNJ
15,070 posts, read 10,089,802 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Women are more open to experimenting (even if they know they are heterosexual); sometimes, it’s within the context of a threesome (to involve their straight partner) whereas I think the reverse scenario is far less likely to occur amongst couples, if ever - unless the dude is pretending to be straight.
I believe women are only more open to experimenting because society does not judge them as harshly for experimenting. Even slight affection (holding hands, hugs) displayed in public between women do not immediately evoke judgments they are gay. If you see two men holding hands or engaging in long close embrace, society assumes they are gay. They garner little respect from such display of affection among men.

I don't believe that finding a purpose in building a family is a separate issue. Men seek a purpose. If they are to find it in building a family, doing so within the confines of a homosexual relationship is considered a failed proposition by society as a whole no matter how healthy of a environment they create for children.

Society's judgements on homosexual males versus homosexual females is contradictory.
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Old 10-02-2023, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,361 posts, read 14,636,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
I believe women are only more open to experimenting because society does not judge them as harshly for experimenting. Even slight affection (holding hands, hugs) displayed in public between women do not immediately evoke judgments they are gay. If you see two men holding hands or engaging in long close embrace, society assumes they are gay. They garner little respect from such display of affection among men.

I don't believe that finding a purpose in building a family is a separate issue. Men seek a purpose. If they are to find it in building a family, doing so within the confines of a homosexual relationship is considered a failed proposition by society as a whole no matter how healthy of a environment they create for children.

Society's judgements on homosexual males versus homosexual females is contradictory.
I think it's all tied up in derogatory stereotypes, too.

Like, society presumes men to be on the hunt for sex at all times. To prefer it without the complications of emotional connection and a relationship, even. Men have been called "pigs" and "hound dogs" and all sorts of things, there's just that assumption that one should never trust a man to be anything but a mindless creature out to rut with a warm body. Like I said, the whole "sexual aggression" thing.

(Thinking about that now, I wonder how much of that basic thing comes of straight men trying to keep other men away from their wives and daughters? Because a lot of the most egregious talk I hear about men chasing sex = threat, comes from that situation.)

So a homosexual relationship involving two men, will often carry a stigma that it's all about sex, that they are perverts, that they are more sexually driven or whatever than any configuration involving a woman.

Society has barely started to accept that women even want or enjoy sex at all. Some people still don't quite believe it! So one presumes of a couple with two women that they are maybe adorable friends who have pillow fights (the old infantilization thing) or perhaps two spinsters who just don't want to be bothered with men anymore...but they are "friends." There's a presumption of "innocence" even if they're very open about the fact that they have plenty of great sex, because there's a societal mental block to thinking of women being as sexual as men, almost the way that we want to think of children as non-sexual beings...if not quite to that level. But when women insist on being very sexual, society wants to shut it up and shut it down.

So yeah, two slavering rabid dogs trying to run around humping everything, versus two blushing flowers who are mostly "very good friends"... That's just how stupid the historically ingrained programming is, about what such relationships might vibe like.

I think that such stereotypes are insulting and awful, not only to gay people but to men and women in general. They do us all a great disservice.
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Old 10-02-2023, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Wisco Disco
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I don't mind women being homosexuals. Just so long as they are bi, they share, and their GF is also cute
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Old 10-02-2023, 09:49 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,658 posts, read 3,853,671 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ManApplet View Post
I don't mind women being homosexuals. Just so long as they are bi, they share, and their GF is also cute
It amuses me when folks assume all bisexual (or gay) women are attractive or that we, as heterosexual men, are knocking down doors to chase (or get in-between) them. What is appealing about a lesbian couple that a straight woman (or two, if that’s your thing), doesn’t have?

That said, ‘I don’t mind women being homosexuals’, either; however, it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them (or even notice). It’s no different than being okay with men who are gay; it doesn’t have anything to do with me.
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Old 10-03-2023, 07:24 AM
 
732 posts, read 406,849 times
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I am happy that gay people are being accepted more and more. I have several gay family members.

Though I turn the channel when I see any gay scenes. Two men kissing does not work for me, and I don't need to see two women kiss either. I am not repulsed or angry, but in the comfort of my house, I turn the channel.
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Old 10-03-2023, 08:37 PM
bu2
 
24,070 posts, read 14,863,435 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
The opposite is true as well. I have female friends who are repulsed by the idea of being with another woman.

But why is it such a strong response from men?

My personal take.

We as men are repulsed by it because that is how we are programmed from a very young age. Boys are raised to earn/value respect and pursue a purpose in life which generally means building a successful family. Society in general doesn't not respect homosexuality and society generally messages that building a healthy family is impossible among homosexual males. Girls are raised to value security and companionship both of which can be found among homosexual women; today even more so.

For the same reason society looks down on boys playing with dolls and we push them towards more boy-related play; often related to professions; construction toys etc. Society is less harsh on girls playing with toys usually associated with boys; trucks for example. In other words, society is more tolerant of some masculine aspects appearing in girls as long as they maintain some aspects of feminity. The opposite isn't true because it counters what society's views on a successful future male earning respect and purpose.
Just skimming, I haven't seen the AIDS epidemic mentioned as a factor. While it was mainly spread by female prostitutes in Africa, it was primarily spread by gay men in the US. Judging from the commercials for drugs you see, it still is predominately a gay male thing in the US.
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Old 10-04-2023, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,361 posts, read 14,636,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bu2 View Post
Just skimming, I haven't seen the AIDS epidemic mentioned as a factor. While it was mainly spread by female prostitutes in Africa, it was primarily spread by gay men in the US. Judging from the commercials for drugs you see, it still is predominately a gay male thing in the US.
While that's true, I think that the negative reactions go considerably further back than that. If anything, since I was a child of the 80s, a teen in the 90s, etc. I feel like the fact that a lot of people were dying and advocacy groups were working very hard to try and get them awareness and funding and care...that may have done a lot towards shifting the conversation about homosexuality.

I mean, we didn't really see big declarations for gay rights back in the 60s during a time when the young adults seemed to really be looking for just about anything to protest about, as far as I'm aware. But then later all those huge names in the music industry put together big events to support and fundraise in the fight against AIDS. The shift from "those weirdos are just an odd joke on Three's Company" to "gay people are people, who want to live and have families and deserve basic respect like anybody" happened in my living memory.

Prior to the 80s/90s it was probably a heck of a lot more common to hear any straight man around when homosexuality was mentioned, start talking about how "if another guy flirts with me, I'm gonna beat him up." My Grandfather's generation sure was like that. I heard that sort of thing all the time when I was a kid...I'd say it was in the 90s that it began to change to, "I got nothing against 'em, I just don't wanna see it." For some folks, that's the best one can hope for, I guess.
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