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Old 10-11-2023, 12:33 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TamaraSavannah View Post
Now, conceptually, theoretically? What happens sexually to one sex, women, is not too much different of whether it is done by the same or opposite...........but for men, who are the penetrators, I would theorize that the thought of them being penetrated would be quite upsetting indeed.
It’s a good reason for us to be repulsed by homosexuality for ourselves, is it not? :-) Thanks for openly acknowledging this point relative to the ‘natural order of things’ re: bodily functions.
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Old 11-21-2023, 06:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TamaraSavannah View Post
u

Now, conceptually, theoretically? What happens sexually to one sex, women, is not too much different of whether it is done by the same or opposite...........but for men, who are the penetrators, I would theorize that the thought of them being penetrated would be quite upsetting indeed.
Bingo.
I agree men are more repulsed by gay men than by lesbians and precisely for the reason bolded.. A conversation about this just happened with my family recently. I am female and straight. Sex between women seem quite natural to me, while the thought of sex between men seem violent. I am not saying i know this is so or not, it is just a feeling.
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Old 11-21-2023, 10:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Bingo.
I agree men are more repulsed by gay men than by lesbians and precisely for the reason bolded.. A conversation about this just happened with my family recently. I am female and straight. Sex between women seem quite natural to me, while the thought of sex between men seem violent. I am not saying i know this is so or not, it is just a feeling.
In the animal world, male homosexuality is quite common - more sex than female homosexuality.

Whether you're repulsed by male homosexuality is rooted very much in your cultural upbringing. Humans are animals, by the way.

I would be more repulsed if my mother had been a lesbian than if my father had been a gay man. I have no idea why. That said, both of my parents were very heterosexual.

I don't think that straight women in general find lesbian sex more natural than gay male sex. Some women enjoy gay male porn*. How do you explain that?

Human sexuality is very complex, and trying to put people in neat little categories is not going to work. Sure, we can make generalization, but, we're not in any one's true mind. We don't know what is anyone's true sexuality is, unless we've lived in their sexual minds.

We're strongly influenced by our culture AND our genes.

(*By the way, I don't advocate watching porn)
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Old 11-21-2023, 10:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancaisDeutsch View Post
In the animal world, male homosexuality is quite common - more sex than female homosexuality.

Whether you're repulsed by male homosexuality is rooted very much in your cultural upbringing. Humans are animals, by the way.

I would be more repulsed if my mother had been a lesbian than if my father had been a gay man. I have no idea why. That said, both of my parents were very heterosexual.

I don't think that straight women in general find lesbian sex more natural than gay male sex. Some women enjoy gay male porn*. How do you explain that?

Human sexuality is very complex, and trying to put people in neat little categories is not going to work. Sure, we can make generalization, but, we're not in any one's true mind. We don't know what is anyone's true sexuality is, unless we've lived in their sexual minds.

We're strongly influenced by our culture AND our genes.

(*By the way, I don't advocate watching porn)
I am not contradicting anything you have stated. But i think drawing conclusions about human behaviour based on animals’ can only go so far. Usually we dont go naked and have sex in the open or have mating seasons.
We dont know animals’ minds and not much more about human minds either. I am not sure feelings about male homosexuality is cultural. There are cultures that punish homosexuality and yet boys are used as sexual toys among men in those societies and is an accepted practice.
I dont know how all women feel nor am i speaking for all straight women. I am only stating my own feelings and making a guess about why men may be repulsed by gays and transgendered. The post about male penetration seems pretty valid to me.
I am also repulsed by porn of all kinds, it only makes me think of exploitation. That is just me.
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Old 11-21-2023, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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To return to this thread, without at all revisiting anything I've said here before (I'm not doing a refresher course in other words)... I don't really feel like any person is obligated in any way to be comfortable with the idea of sex with any other person. Opting out of that with any given other individual is always valid for anybody, for any reason or no reason.

What I just wish is that various kinds of LGBTQ+ types were treated with basic decency. I mean, most normal young straight men would also be pretty repulsed by the idea of sex with a 90 year old woman, right? But it isn't hard to be kind to one and speak with basic respect and decency to one in public, right? Or to be loving to your Grandma? Not everyone's got to be a sexual object for you to be nice to them. You should not HAVE to think about what their sex life looks like, just because you interact with somebody who is gay, or trans, or whatever. I mean, you could regard my husband and I as a pretty normal looking straight couple and you have no idea what we get up to in the privacy of our bedroom but I guarantee it would be off-putting to some people. That's fine, there's no need for you to know or think about it.

And lest someone talk about all the representation in media and whatnot, when I see a couple holding hands, kissing or embracing, I don't automatically think in my head about graphic sex acts, either. And I'm not even "repulsed" by the notion of said acts, I just can't imagine having a brain that automatically goes there about people.

So I am kinda wondering if THAT isn't part of it, too? Because I've been told that as a somewhat...average to attractive woman... That EVERY straight male past puberty that I interact with in the entire freaking world in person, instantly imagines me naked or sexually in the first moments of our interaction. I mean... I want to hope that's a massive exaggeration and straight men are not THAT obsessed with sex...good lord, how do you even get anything done in life?... but if there's even any smidge of truth anywhere in that, maybe guys just have too much a compulsion for the mind to "go there" even when they don't want it to?

Men, I'd love to hear from you on this. It's one of relatively few things that if there's any truth to it I really cannot imagine being in your shoes...or rather your skull, I guess... At my absolute friskiest in life I never would have had this problem.

I'm just wondering if it's easier for women to regard couples that don't align with our own sexuality and be like, "not my thing but you do you" with no particular disturbance, because perhaps we are less prone to think about sex in general?

I've also heard that trans men who start taking testosterone as part of their transition often have a great deal of alarm at how different their minds operate and how constantly and involuntarily they think about sex.
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Old 11-21-2023, 01:43 PM
 
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I think it's very hard for Americans to talk maturely about sex/sexual orientation. Male homosexuality is still a great taboo in our culture, as evidenced by the talk on this thread. Lesbianism is, too, but to a lesser degree.

I am not sure it's healthy to be repulsed by anything. Aversion is never good, as it leads to very unhappy feelings. I am averse to many things, but I find it that it makes me unhappy to be that way.
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Old 11-21-2023, 02:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancaisDeutsch View Post
I think it's very hard for Americans to talk maturely about sex/sexual orientation. Male homosexuality is still a great taboo in our culture, as evidenced by the talk on this thread. Lesbianism is, too, but to a lesser degree.

I am not sure it's healthy to be repulsed by anything. Aversion is never good, as it leads to very unhappy feelings. I am averse to many things, but I find it that it makes me unhappy to be that way.
That is an interesting position. Often what we are repulsed by or have an aversion to turns out to be a red light warning. Such as spoiled food for instance, the way it looks and smells a rotten piece of bread or meat can signal that it will be harmful if eaten. It could just cause bad diarrhea or can be more toxic and cause a pandemic. Even animals avoid food that is harmful to them. It is a natural instinct that saves one.
ETA OF COURSE the above does not apply to people. Aversion to people is different often rises out of ignorance and a very narrow world view. Aversion to homosexuality is not the same as aversion to those who practice it. We have right to our own sexual lives that does not violate others’.

Last edited by cb2008; 11-21-2023 at 03:13 PM..
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Old 11-21-2023, 03:17 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancaisDeutsch View Post
I am not sure it's healthy to be repulsed by anything. Aversion is never good, as it leads to very unhappy feelings. I am averse to many things, but I find it that it makes me unhappy to be that way.
If one is ‘acting-out’ against someone or something, I agree; however, per the thread, I take it to be simply a matter of knowing (and being confident in) one’s sexuality sans feeling the need to lash out against others. In other words, we can be repulsed by homosexuality on a personal level but simultaneously accept it in others as well.
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Old 11-21-2023, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Beautiful Four Oaks
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Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
If one is ‘acting-out’ against someone or something, I agree; however, per the thread, I take it to be simply a matter of knowing (and being confident in) one’s sexuality sans feeling the need to lash out against others. In other words, we can be repulsed by homosexuality on a personal level but simultaneously accept it in others as well.

While not repulsed by most anything that doesn't cause harm to others, I agree 100% Cowboy.

But the OP asked about the different view between men and women. I think most men are too "macho" to just accept homosexuality, as where women don't have that "testosterone" issue.
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Old 11-21-2023, 03:55 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SickofJersey View Post
I think most men are too "macho" to just accept homosexuality, as where women don't have that "testosterone" issue.
I don’t think it’s a ‘testosterone issue’, lol; it’s generational and personal relative to one’s upbringing i.e. a sign of their times. In other words, those of us who are in our forties (or younger) are much more likely to be accepting of homosexuality, as a whole, than older men.
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