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Old 11-21-2023, 09:20 PM
 
702 posts, read 457,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
If one is ‘acting-out’ against someone or something, I agree; however, per the thread, I take it to be simply a matter of knowing (and being confident in) one’s sexuality sans feeling the need to lash out against others. In other words, we can be repulsed by homosexuality on a personal level but simultaneously accept it in others as well.
I'm talking about aversion in a general sense. It creates unhappiness in us. I think we need to see things we don't like with more neutral eyes (equanimity).

By the way, it's impossible for me to know other person's true sexuality because it's something that is only known by the person. I can make big assumptions, and possibly know a few general things; that said, I don't know any of the depths of their true sexuality. Honestly, I wouldn't want to anyone's deepest sexual fantasies, even my sexual partners (if I had one).
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Old 11-22-2023, 09:48 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrancaisDeutsch View Post
I'm talking about aversion in a general sense. It creates unhappiness in us. I think we need to see things we don't like with more neutral eyes (equanimity).
If we accept homosexuality in others, it is seeing it with neutral eyes - no? Hence my point re: (repeatedly) acting out against someone or something i.e. does the aversion emotionally-control you.
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Old 11-22-2023, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Germany
716 posts, read 419,703 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post

And lest someone talk about all the representation in media and whatnot, when I see a couple holding hands, kissing or embracing, I don't automatically think in my head about graphic sex acts, either. And I'm not even "repulsed" by the notion of said acts, I just can't imagine having a brain that automatically goes there about people.

So I am kinda wondering if THAT isn't part of it, too? Because I've been told that as a somewhat...average to attractive woman... That EVERY straight male past puberty that I interact with in the entire freaking world in person, instantly imagines me naked or sexually in the first moments of our interaction. I mean... I want to hope that's a massive exaggeration and straight men are not THAT obsessed with sex...good lord, how do you even get anything done in life?... but if there's even any smidge of truth anywhere in that, maybe guys just have too much a compulsion for the mind to "go there" even when they don't want it to?

Men, I'd love to hear from you on this. It's one of relatively few things that if there's any truth to it I really cannot imagine being in your shoes...or rather your skull, I guess... At my absolute friskiest in life I never would have had this problem..
Hey sonic although I can at least confirm that in Greece there was a culture of suddenly as soon as you got into high school all the guys started talking about boobs and sex, I can also confirm that everyone was so clueless and they all would exaggerate. I have even had talks with men that I regard as logical, who were so brainwashed by the ooga-booga caveman culture of only seeing women as possible sex partners, that they really thought that men cannot be friends with women because there is always something sexual there.
Gurl there can always be something sexual with an eggplant if you want!

But no, not a lot of men have that mindset (although for sure some!) or at least I automatically keep most of them out of my circle.
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Old 11-24-2023, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gohangr View Post
Hey sonic although I can at least confirm that in Greece there was a culture of suddenly as soon as you got into high school all the guys started talking about boobs and sex, I can also confirm that everyone was so clueless and they all would exaggerate. I have even had talks with men that I regard as logical, who were so brainwashed by the ooga-booga caveman culture of only seeing women as possible sex partners, that they really thought that men cannot be friends with women because there is always something sexual there.
Gurl there can always be something sexual with an eggplant if you want!

But no, not a lot of men have that mindset (although for sure some!) or at least I automatically keep most of them out of my circle.
I mean, my ex used to say a lot that men and women can't be friends because the man is thinking about sex with the woman and I was just naive to think otherwise...but I was like, "do ya think I'll be raped? No? but you say you trust me, if not them, and I'm going to say no, so who cares what they think in their heads? Who asked 'em?" In the end I decided he could only speak for himself, not for "men."

He is not the only man though, there have been some around the CD forums over the years, who have said things like that. Yet others disagree.

But I guess I'm just wondering if I, as a woman, have an easier time not judging people whatever their sexuality, if I as a woman see a couple holding hands and think, "Aw, nice, they love each other!" When perhaps a man...or some men?...see a couple holding hands and get involuntary mental porn they did not ask for and don't want?

I mean. That would be inconvenient. I would think.
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Old 11-24-2023, 06:06 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 1,079,475 times
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Men are reluctant to report same sex assault.

A friend of mine was assaulted at a house party in a large city- he woke up in a back bedroom in the middle of the attack. His assailant got up and left as quickly as possible.

He was too intoxicated to walk straight, it was wintertime, and he felt he'd be laughed at by the police if he made a report.

So he sobered up, went home and showered. He only mentioned it as years later we had a problem with a room mate and safety concerns were discussed for our friend group.

Just saying. After that he loathed being around homosexuals.
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Old 11-24-2023, 06:13 PM
 
15,801 posts, read 6,864,658 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyLark2019 View Post
Men are reluctant to report same sex assault.

A friend of mine was assaulted at a house party in a large city- he woke up in a back bedroom in the middle of the attack. His assailant got up and left as quickly as possible.

He was too intoxicated to walk straight, it was wintertime, and he felt he'd be laughed at by the police if he made a report.

So he sobered up, went home and showered. He only mentioned it as years later we had a problem with a room mate and safety concerns were discussed for our friend group.

Just saying. After that he loathed being around homosexuals.
Men can fear rape by men as much as women fear assault by men.
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Old 11-24-2023, 09:30 PM
 
702 posts, read 457,384 times
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Male rape is still a very taboo topic in our culture. The stigma of gay male sex is to blame.

Many male victims never come forward because they believe they are now "gay".

Homophobia is very, very dangerous for men: it leads to violence and murder; it also allows more rapists to go unpunished.
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Old 11-24-2023, 11:00 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
Sex between women seem quite natural to me, while the thought of sex between men seem violent.
How is two women any more ‘biologically natural’ than two men?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
I am female and straight.
I question whether you are straight (or psychologically healthy) if you feel sex between two women is ‘natural’, and you equate sex with a man as being ‘violent’ as well.
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Old 11-25-2023, 12:00 AM
 
15,801 posts, read 6,864,658 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
How is two women any more ‘biologically natural’ than two men?



.
There is nothing unnatural about same sex relationship. The topic is why men are more repulsed by homosexuals and several good responses have already been offered, you should go back and read them.
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Old 11-25-2023, 09:20 AM
 
Location: San Francisco
8,444 posts, read 3,701,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cb2008 View Post
There is nothing unnatural about same sex relationship. The topic is why men are more repulsed by homosexuals and several good responses have already been offered, you should go back and read them.
My point is that part of the repulsion for men, per the thread, is that it ISN’T natural. Tamara solidified a good point re: ‘natural bodily functions’.

Do you agree that, at least anatomically/biologically, heterosexual sex is ‘natural’ (and represents the vast majority)? That said, I’m not implying homosexuality is ‘abnormal’, either; it is what it is. However, to suggest it’s somehow more ‘natural’ than heterosexual sex (especially since you claim to be a straight female) is just - odd.
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