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I’d say the answer depends a great deal upon how well the parents have raised their children in respect to actually becoming self sufficient and mature. It doesn’t just happen you know. If parents never set the clear expectation that the child work and save their money at a young age, thus learning habits that will last them a lifetime, then they are raising a dependent child who always be one.
I’d say the answer depends a great deal upon how well the parents have raised their children in respect to actually becoming self sufficient and mature. It doesn’t just happen you know. If parents never set the clear expectation that the child work and save their money at a young age, thus learning habits that will last them a lifetime, then they are raising a dependent child who always be one.
True and that's what happened in the op, the mooch was enabled early with parents and family assuming they would grow out it. What surprised me is the parents and family were nothing like the op with the same being for aunts, uncles, cousins etc.
My thing is after a certain point one should be learning or picking up on things on their own. Not just leaving home but as a full fledged legal adult shouldn't one be trying to learn and master the basics of life/many things on their own. Not everything is learned in a classroom or counseling session. It's like they are waiting.
For a healthy person with no physical or mental health conditions (or taking care of people who have those) holding them back, 25 at the latest if you want a specific answer.
Though I know a lot of things in life happen so I really don't judge people whenever they start.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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For me it was when I graduated from college & got my 1st full time job....but it's a gradual process that starts back in middle & high school IMO.
Some have to grow up super fast because of awful parents that have their own problems & addictions......AND some never do. If you're well adjusted tho.....it happens naturally........
One should be independent upon graduation from school (either college or grad school).
Yep. I was launched within 30 days of finishing college. The problem is that if you don’t follow the “study hard, get good grades, get into a good school, pick a hard major, be near the top of your class”, people aren’t breaking down your door trying to hire you. An easy major from a mediocre school with mediocre grades isn’t going to open any doors. You’re probably better off skipping college and learning job skills rather than take that path.
I agree with many posters here that one should be self-sufficient after graduating from college/university. I was on my own after I moved out at 20 to transfer to a university. I have supported myself since then. During my time in the university, I did my own finances, cooked and cleaned for myself, having roommates and worked everything out with them. I worked, applied for scholarships and grants/very little student loans, lived very frugal until I graduated. My parents basically stopped supported me at that point since they didn't have the means to. I got my own place 2 years after graduation, after getting my first full-time job with benefits, and never had to share the place with anyone else, unless it's for company, not because of the finances.
I told my kid that I'll fully support her after 18 if she's going to college/university with the goal to graduate in 4-5 years, with a degree that will land her a livable career. After that, she's responsible for her own bills. She's very independent and responsible kid so far, so I hope she'll head it that way.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
Yep. I was launched within 30 days of finishing college. The problem is that if you don’t follow the “study hard, get good grades, get into a good school, pick a hard major, be near the top of your class”, people aren’t breaking down your door trying to hire you. An easy major from a mediocre school with mediocre grades isn’t going to open any doors. You’re probably better off skipping college and learning job skills rather than take that path.
If you go to a respected school that it's in the top third.....& you pick a major that works for a profession or career, you shouldn't have any trouble finding a job if you have good grades & you can interview IMO. You'll find a better job than learning job skills ...tho that's Ok if it's a right fit for you. Whatever is easiest to get a career & be self sufficient & it's different for everybody.
I’d say the answer depends a great deal upon how well the parents have raised their children in respect to actually becoming self sufficient and mature. It doesn’t just happen you know. If parents never set the clear expectation that the child work and save their money at a young age, thus learning habits that will last them a lifetime, then they are raising a dependent child who always be one.
^^^^ THIS!!!
I have learned to cook, clean and do laundry at a young age. Don't remember how old I was, must have been between 10-14.
Every time I got money gifts from relatives, I proudly carried it to the bank and got a stamp in my little savings book (they stamped the amount in a little notebook in Germany). So you could see your money grow.
At 13 I had my first part time job, a church flyer route. At age 16 I graduated from school and worked full time, moved out at 18. I have not asked my parents for money since age 16.
Old school @ 18 -it’s a trade School or military -time to leave son
I am seeing 37 year old skate board wonders Like my nephew -who have no work history
I’m old and have seen a lot but this I never expected
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