Do people who get scammed "let" it happen to them? (girlfriend, husband)

[ClaraC]

Scams usually involve getting something for nothing, or getting much more than you'd expect to get for the same price/effort.

Most people look at the scam and know that "there's no free lunch" and are immediately skeptical. It's too good to be true. Foolish people who can't see there would be no motivation for the scammer to ACTUALLY be offering what they appear to be offering, get scammed.

This of course has nothing to do with elderly people who have lost the ability to discern when someone claiming to be the IRS, or their bank, calls and gets their financial information. That's a whole different thing.

[Rocko20]

It really depends on the scam. You could be scammed off eBay by a buyer with 2000 reviews, because they took clever pictures and wrote a clever description. You could be scammed by a car seller because you don’t know what to look for and the mechanic missed something.

You could be scammed out of money by your own lawyers, tax advisor, or accountant.

But due diligence and redundant oversight will usually sniff out most scams.

[moongirl00]

I know someone who was scammed out of millions of dollars by their financial planner. The financial planner was also a childhood friend this person had been friends with since childhood. Needless to say, the person who got scammed didn't see it coming. They trusted that person completely. The person who got scammed certainly didn't "let it happen," and wasn't a naive, gullible person either. A person doesn't amass a fortune of millions of dollars by living life like an idiot.


The scammer ended up going to prison and the person that got scammed won a multimillion dollar civil lawsuit against the scammer. They seem to have gotten back on their feet, but no doubt the whole thing was pretty traumatic, plus a huge headache. They lost everything for a bit, and it put their life into upheaval for several years until it got sorted out.

[Rocko20]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Most people look at the scam and know that "there's no free lunch" and are immediately skeptical. It's too good to be true. Foolish people who can't see there would be no motivation for the scammer to ACTUALLY be offering what they appear to be offering, get scammed.

Not true, smart and successful people get scammed all the time. The victims of Theranos blood testing were billionaires, companies, charities, etc. the victims of Bernie Maddoff were the same.

Scams and scammers don’t care how smart or rich you are. All it takes is 1 lapse in judgment or due diligence to a victim.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by Rocko20

Not true, smart and successful people get scammed all the time. The victims of Theranos blood testing were billionaires, companies, charities, etc. the victims of Bernie Maddoff were the same.

Scams and scammers don’t care how smart or rich you are. All it takes is 1 lapse in judgment or due diligence to a victim.

Well, that's why I said "most".

BUT -

Madoff made his money by promising his investors "unusually high returns". This is exactly what I was talking about. Returns on investments that investors should be very suspicious of, and question whether it was legitimate.

But people's desire to get more than they pay for leads them to be gullible.

I do agree many people who ought not be gullible were in this case. But they put their "hinky meter" away, because they wanted more than they were typically entitled to.

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-...-worked-2014-7

[charlygal]

In the case of romance scammers, I believe the "victims" really know deep down that it's a scam but they want to be "in love" more than they want to accept the truth.

[moongirl00]

Originally Posted by charlygal

In the case of romance scammers, I believe the "victims" really know deep down that it's a scam but they want to be "in love" more than they want to accept the truth.

In the case of "romance scams," it is complicated. Vulnerabilities like being newly divorced, going through some recent trauma, being in a transitional state; Narcissists or Psychopaths seek out people like that to enter into relationships with.


Dr. Ramani from youtube talks about this a lot:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk0a33UKGIg

[Nov3]

Originally Posted by kitty61

I have been scammed by contractor , next door neighbor., real estate agent.
It is partly because I used to think it is right to give everyone the benefit of a doubt. Now I am suspicous first.
I no longer beleive there is good in everyone because some are bad apples and you don't know which ones are bad until they take you for a ride.

That's exactly my mindset.
I so deeply want to see the 'good', that I dern myself if I sense a red flag. My goodness only a negative Nelly would be so hesitant. Little did I know we need those negative senses to remind us of the ruse that is about to transcend.

Our business had two gents scamming. I knew the second they walked thru the door! Yet my boss told me...to cater to their requests. I hated having to bow to these guys. Finally I broached my suspicion to one of the owners. She caught the red flags to! Had me go down to our govt. Office and research these guys.
Sure enough they were already under investigation.
A few weeks later when our one owner finally called these guys to the carpet.....they fled!
A summons arrived a little while later in which our owners had to testify against these guys.

[mkpunk]

I think before Bernie Madoff got accused of his schemes, I don't think people thought he was a con-artist. Maybe they thought something was up, but he had enough people, especially celebrities believe him. Madoff marketed himself in a way that hid the fact he was a crook.

[Serious Conversation]

There are a lot of people who are mentally vulnerable, or elderly and not as "with it" that they are easy to prey on. It's not deliberate, but some folks are softer targets in that regard.