Men vs women and housework (woman, husband, father, adult)
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...and somehow the boys miraculously recovered and grew to love drumsticks, thighs, and white meat in adulthood though they had been equally deprived as their sisters in childhood? Or is that yet another gender difference? Boys/men love white meat, thighs, and drumsticks from birth while girls/women go for backs, wings, gizzards, and hearts...got it. Now you've got me wondering just who got the necks?
Years ago, you could buy a bag of chicken hearts at the grocer or butcher/dip them in a mixture made up of flour,egg,milk, spices/deep fry them. They were delicious...yum...
Often mom/granma/aunts would make chicken dumpling soup with chicken stock/pieces of thighs/backs/wings/heart/gizzards/kidney/liver/neck/,etc...spices...
Interesting....I've been on the NextDoor app for awhile and there's always a lot of asking for referrals for various "maintenance" work around the house.
Maybe it's just that women are on social media, but it is almost always women asking for a referral for a plumber, electrician, carpenter, yard work, etc. Their man is NOT doing "their" part of the maintenance work to balance out other household chores. They aren't even doing the asking around to find someone to do it FOR them, or at least not on NextDoor. I dunno, maybe guys just ask a friend at work?
You're just assuming that those women spending all their time on NextDoor have a man in their lives shirking any kind of responsibility? Maybe they can't get a guy to visit even if they promise to pay him?
What people do not understand is that being a sole breadwinner adds a lot of stress to one’s job. It makes it harder to switch careers, and harder to take chances. And it puts you in a position where you absolutely need the job and cannot say no to anything. It is also so annoying when people on C-D and elsewhere tell me to switch careers. That is not an option as a sole breadwinner since I can’t just quit my job and go back to college, nor can I start at an entry level salary.
It's annoying to hear because it's not an easy fix. My husband and I both changed careers during/after the recession; it was risky, especially with children to support, but it was either that or keep plugging away in fields we hated. And honestly, we probably would never have taken the risk if the recession hadn't forced it, because the reasons not to were compelling.
Granted, it is not a viable option for someone whose spouse doesn't support that endeavor and isn't willing to adjust their lifestyle during the transition, but that's an issue between the couple, not society in general.
It's annoying to hear because it's not an easy fix. My husband and I both changed careers during/after the recession; it was risky, especially with children to support, but it was either that or keep plugging away in fields we hated. And honestly, we probably would never have taken the risk if the recession hadn't forced it, because the reasons not to were compelling.
Granted, it is not a viable option for someone whose spouse doesn't support that endeavor and isn't willing to adjust their lifestyle during the transition, but that's an issue between the couple, not society in general.
But the difference is that you and your husband were both working. And this is off topic anyway.
Interesting....I've been on the NextDoor app for awhile and there's always a lot of asking for referrals for various "maintenance" work around the house.
Maybe it's just that women are on social media, but it is almost always women asking for a referral for a plumber, electrician, carpenter, yard work, etc. Their man is NOT doing "their" part of the maintenance work to balance out other household chores. They aren't even doing the asking around to find someone to do it FOR them, or at least not on NextDoor. I dunno, maybe guys just ask a friend at work?
Lots of single women are homeowners, and need repair people, maintenance people (new exterior paint job, new roof), a yard guy or tree trimmer, etc.
Interesting....I've been on the NextDoor app for awhile and there's always a lot of asking for referrals for various "maintenance" work around the house.
Maybe it's just that women are on social media, but it is almost always women asking for a referral for a plumber, electrician, carpenter, yard work, etc. Their man is NOT doing "their" part of the maintenance work to balance out other household chores. They aren't even doing the asking around to find someone to do it FOR them, or at least not on NextDoor. I dunno, maybe guys just ask a friend at work?
Honestly, I was an adult when I realized that actual men fixed cars and did stuff around the house, and it wasn't just a TV cliche. No men in my family did anything of the sort. Cars went the mechanic. House painter paints the house. Plumber fixes the leak, etc.
By all means then - let's leave culture out of it since generalizations are impossible (and no, there were not a lot of Muslims in Germany back then, and not in my family)...you brought up Germans, not me. Stick to what is relevant rather than implying German ways work better.
What you're really talking about are individual differences so stick to that and you'll be on firmer ground. Certainly that's a big part of this discussion that somehow there is ONE way that is better - and for many that seems to be whatever the OPs gendered point of view is. There have been more than enough examples showing that what's best for a couple is what works best for them - not someone else's preconceived notion.
The made-up view is that there are a lot of SAHM's who want their poor over-worked husbands to come home and do another 12 hours of "housework" while they eat bonbons watching the Kardashians is bunk. What's also crazy is the idea that if a SAHM is keeping busy during "work hours" that she should then do another 12 hours of "housework" while hubs reads the paper all evening. If you have a family, NO ONE gets 8 hours of free time while another adult does all the chores. In most families everyone has (hopefully) 6-8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of daytime work and then splits up whatever work is left between them. How exactly they split it up is hopefully equitable based on the bigger picture of all the things going on in the household.
Just because you aren't aware of something happening doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I am not aware of any families where the men eat first and the women are left with the scraps, but I'm not denying that it happened to your grandmother. I have never seen a married couple living separately, but I don't deny that it happens. Just because you are not aware of families where the husband works long hours plus another 12 hours of housework while his wife eats bonbons watching the Kardashians doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Oh, my sister loves all the meat despite only getting a drumstick when we were kids. But she's a meat lover in general and I am not. The amount on a wing or two is just enough for me and I like picking around the bones.
My mom did not cook necks, gizzards or hearts except to make chicken stock!
And as a matter of fact, my son (age 15 1/2) is now at the point where he inhales huge quantities of food and is as skinny and tall as a beanpole. My girls, who are older than him, never ate half as much as he does. If the amount of meat was limited, as it often was in the old days I'm sure, I'd favor giving the most to the person who is growing fastest and needs the most protein. That's probably the teenage boy, if there is one in the family. Sorry if that's sexist!
I think that this often happens, especially in larger families with limited means, where the parents have to make difficult decisions as to which kids get which resources. Anytime there is a resource where demand exceeds supply, whatever method is used to determine who gets that resource is going to seem unfair and arbitrary to whoever loses out.
I think that in such cases, parents need to make it clear to their daughters that if they are not getting a certain resource, it is not due to their gender. In the case above, I'm sure that if the daughter was a rapidly growing teenager and the boys were younger, the teenage daughter would have gotten the most food or the best cuts. I'm sure that if a family has an athletic daughter and a sedentary son, the athletic daughter may get more food.
I have heard that parents are more willing to pay for a son's college education than a daughter's college education. I don't know if that is true or not. But what I suspect is happening is, in a family with limited means, where they feel that they can only pay for one child's education, they may have to make a difficult decision. And, they may feel that their son who wants to major in pre-med will get a better return on investment than t heir daughter who wants to major in art history. But the parents need to make it clear that it's not a gender issue, and that if their daughter wants to major in pre-med and their son wants to major in art history, and if they can only afford to pay for one college education, that the daughter would get priority there.
Honestly, I was an adult when I realized that actual men fixed cars and did stuff around the house, and it wasn't just a TV cliche. No men in my family did anything of the sort. Cars went the mechanic. House painter paints the house. Plumber fixes the leak, etc.
And what is wrong with that? You are saying that a man is not an “actual man” if he doesn’t fix cars, paint the house, and do the plumbing. What if somebody was to say that a woman is not an “actual woman” if she doesn’t do all of the cooking and cleaning? I’m sure you’d say that’s sexist, rightly so. So, why the double standard?
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Now you've got me wondering just who got the necks?
