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I don't know about that. There is always--always!--something around my house that needs to be fixed. I am pretty sure my husband spends more time on household repairs than I spend on social planning, spring cleaning, vacation planning, decorating, hiring painters, or making doctor appointments, put together. Those are all things I rarely to never do.
Bills, grocery shopping, and laundry, we can agree on. Those are constant.
But why do you assume that the woman is doing those?
But why do you assume that the woman is doing those?
The post I was responding to set up a contrast between household repairs and "managing the household" (a long list of other tasks).
In my family, my husband does household repairs and I, a woman, do most of the household management. So this division matched up with my reality and I responded in the spirit of that post.
By no means do I assume that every couple manages their household the way we do.
That's definitely true, but in a hypothetical family where both parents work and there are kids, many times the husband will say, "I do my part! I take out the trash. I clean the gutters. I change the oil. I mow the lawn." All important jobs, but compared with daily meal prep, laundry, cleaning, kids' activities, the workload is not the same.
Oh, I would certainly agree that a family in which both parents work full time and yet the wife does the lion's share of household chores, would not be a fair division at all.
To be honest, I don't know many couples with small children in which both parents work FULL time. There are a few, but for the most part, either the wife doesn't work outside the home (yes, I still know a fair number of families like this), or she works only part-time. Or the husband works part-time or works from home, and the wife works full-time. That happens too.
Every couple has to figure out what is best in their unique situation. Maybe one of them is much better at cooking than the other and enjoys it more. Maybe neither of them loves cooking, but one happens to be home a lot more than the other, so that person ends up cooking regardless. They probably also get a lot of take-out.
The important thing is that couples talk about it and work it out so no one thinks they are doing all the heavy lifting while the other is slacking.
And where in C-D's rules does it say it's a woman's rights forum?
Nobody said it was. But this thread certainly seems to be heavily populated by rational people who, by and large, have found an equitable (if not equal) division of labor in their relationships and, by and large, see the same of those they have contact with.
I mean, the reaction that you "were hoping for" in this thread at least somewhat seems to be colored by the previous "suburban doormat" and other disparaging comments you have made. (Oh, look...such as the one quoted right above me.)
I didn't finish the statement before, so maybe you indeed have never heard it, but...:
If you're the only one who sees a problem and nobody else does....maybe it isn't a problem.
Oh, I would certainly agree that a family in which both parents work full time and yet the wife does the lion's share of household chores, would not be a fair division at all.
I agree, but that is not what I'm talking about. And keep in mind that not all full-time jobs are equal.
Quote:
To be honest, I don't know many couples with small children in which both parents work FULL time. There are a few, but for the most part, either the wife doesn't work outside the home (yes, I still know a fair number of families like this), or she works only part-time. Or the husband works part-time or works from home, and the wife works full-time. That happens too.
Every couple has to figure out what is best in their unique situation. Maybe one of them is much better at cooking than the other and enjoys it more. Maybe neither of them loves cooking, but one happens to be home a lot more than the other, so that person ends up cooking regardless. They probably also get a lot of take-out.
The important thing is that couples talk about it and work it out so no one thinks they are doing all the heavy lifting while the other is slacking.
Agree with all that.
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