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Old 08-11-2020, 05:33 PM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,596,108 times
Reputation: 9906

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The word HALT comes to mind. Whenever you may be
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired.

Any 1 of those 4 things can throw off appreciation of a moment. If you feel off, check that you are not any one of those things. Coupled with trying to wing it on guessing where to eat in NYC, it was far from what it could have been; a perfectly planned meal, you well rested, not rushed, a good glass of wine, everything about the ambience perfect.

Sounds like mostly it was a disappointment from what the potential of the meal could have been.
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Old 08-11-2020, 05:40 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,032 posts, read 18,404,086 times
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Maybe if that pizza was so hot-from-the-oven that it burned your tongue you would have "appreciated" the whole experience more.

Last edited by Parnassia; 08-11-2020 at 05:49 PM..
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Old 08-11-2020, 05:47 PM
 
35,520 posts, read 17,792,563 times
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I think that's just called regret for a missed opportunity.

I think all of us have had times when we thought, why didn't I make more of an effort to enjoy ________. Whatever that is.
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Old 08-17-2020, 09:27 AM
 
1,082 posts, read 569,111 times
Reputation: 1811
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
What I was wanting to convey is that at the time, we were tired, rushed, the food wasn't great, etc., but we were in NYC - and I feel like I was mostly "unconscious" so I wasn't able to appreciate everything.

I think I was wanting the ability to go back in time to be really saturated in an experience - to be able to feel it.
When I was doing my therapy group, one of the ideas we discussed was that of "staying in the moment." Simply put, it's the concept of choosing to focus on what's happening now without your mind wandering to past regrets or worries about tomorrow. This practice is believed to increase our overall joy of life and reduce anxiety.
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Old 08-17-2020, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,019,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71 View Post
I am thoroughly confused. Although this sounds like more unhealthy obsession about the past, and wishing to re-experience it.
Yes.
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Old 08-17-2020, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,826 posts, read 29,843,342 times
Reputation: 14428
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
What I was wanting to convey is that at the time, we were tired, rushed, the food wasn't great, etc., but we were in NYC - and I feel like I was mostly "unconscious" so I wasn't able to appreciate everything.

I think I was wanting the ability to go back in time to be really saturated in an experience - to be able to feel it.
This is why taking pictures and writing notes during an experience helps if you want to remember the "feel" of the moment.

I recently went on a trip to the Northeast, and was positively enchanted most of the time. So much so, that I wanted to record all of it in written form about a week after the trip was over.

When I went back to write it all out, about 40% of the way through I was satisfied with not finishing it, because I have pictures, I recollect the experience, and I can still refer to it when I want to remember how good it felt, even if I can't effectively express it to another person. Ironically, where I stopped in my written recollection was where I had reached the peak "feel".

Not everything has to be special, and it is very easy to let "moments" slip by. Sometimes all it takes is a few seconds to savor a moment while it occurs that'll stay with you. But, simply remembering something was cool or fun is good enough, much of the time, even if you don't refer back to it or even feel the need to.
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Old 08-17-2020, 02:43 PM
 
Location: equator
11,022 posts, read 6,574,246 times
Reputation: 25486
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I think that's just called regret for a missed opportunity.

I think all of us have had times when we thought, why didn't I make more of an effort to enjoy ________. Whatever that is.
Falling asleep during a massage comes to mind....
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Old 08-18-2020, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Kirkland, WA (Metro Seattle)
6,031 posts, read 6,108,264 times
Reputation: 12508
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Please bear with me, as I am just now thinking about this, and my idea is undeveloped.

I would like to be able to back in time to really experience a certain moment.

I will give an example:

I arrived in NYC with a "friend" (really an assistant) (last year) and after we checked into the hotel after a day of travel, we were beat and just wanted to grab a quick bite.

We went to one place, and I noticed it was really meat centric, so after we were seated and I read the menu, we left.

We walked around the corner and found a pizza/pasta place.

I felt the entire experience was sub-standard, but did not comment on my assessment (as my "assistant" would not have understood.
What is "what" called?

What was sub-standard? Guessing unsuccessfully navigating conflict, failing to discuss with the staff about vegan-centric options? I have friends who conduct conversations like this all the time. If they meet someone not-too-clever on the staff-side, they thank them and leave with a smile. When I go out with one of these fellas, I let him pick the place and I make do with tostadas or similar as-available.

Want to relive that moment of failing to ask if there was a vege lasagna? Okay then...
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Old 08-18-2020, 01:12 PM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,706 posts, read 3,297,907 times
Reputation: 2412
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
Please bear with me, as I am just now thinking about this, and my idea is undeveloped.

I would like to be able to back in time to really experience a certain moment.

I will give an example:

I arrived in NYC with a "friend" (really an assistant) (last year) and after we checked into the hotel after a day of travel, we were beat and just wanted to grab a quick bite.

We went to one place, and I noticed it was really meat centric, so after we were seated and I read the menu, we left.

We walked around the corner and found a pizza/pasta place.

I felt the entire experience was sub-standard, but did not comment on my assessment (as my "assistant" would not have understood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
I think I must have written the post and not finished and just posted it . . . I am sorry. It absolutely makes no sense.

What I was wanting to convey is that at the time, we were tired, rushed, the food wasn't great, etc., but we were in NYC - and I feel like I was mostly "unconscious" so I wasn't able to appreciate everything.

I think I was wanting the ability to go back in time to be really saturated in an experience - to be able to feel it.

I wish I could delete this entire thread because it basically makes little sense and I am not 100% sure what I was trying to convey.
I am curious, in the original description of what seemed to be a non-sequitur experience and in your review of this non-sequitur experience, that you seem to be fairly well describing the same thing. Is that true?

You may be tired, distracted, not firing on all cylinders, and you are wondering why it couldn't have been more vivid. Is there a reason you need to be always firing on all cylinders? Is there a reason you have a preoccupation with when you are not firing on all cylinders? Because what happens later is discomfort. If this is a lifestyle, I'd be worried, but if this is simply jet-lag? I'd look for another day. Sometimes its OK to float along in the river and not be in charge. Sometimes you can take a 15 minute nap and be refreshed. Sometimes it is OK to wait it out, step back, and wonder what you want / need in the moment, and address that need first? And sometimes you want to stuff your face, fill the hole, shower, and go to bed, to try it the next day.

I can't say I get it, but sometimes life IS sub-standard. I don't live on a mountain top. Every experience doesn't need to captivate me. Sometimes its just coffee at a table and staring out at a crowd. I would have a heart attack if I were always embraced in rapture, you know what I'm saying?
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Old 08-20-2020, 09:40 PM
 
12,918 posts, read 16,803,693 times
Reputation: 5434
Were you suffering from jet lag? Did it get better the next day?
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