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So when you mention a car accident or something like that, usually (in normal circumstances) talking about it with others and trying to come to terms with what happened helps you heal.
And that's one reason why it's unusual to develop PTSD after a car accident unless there's an additional extreme factor, like having killed a pedestrian or whatever.
Who does a child who's being molested by a stepparent go talk things through with in the hours and days after being assaulted? What safe and peaceful place does a soldier in a war zone have, where they can promptly go decompress and work through the things they've seen, done and experienced?
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And like some else said phobia's can be dealt with gradual reintroduction. Say you have a phobia of spiders. First you normalize yourself with the word spider. Then you normalize yourself with a picture, then the real thing, and then final you dump a pile of them onto your head.
If these tactics don't work in PTSD, then I think I'd be more accepting of people I meet who physical can't change their negative reaction to the people/things around them.
That's a phobia, and it's different. You can do desensitization training (in a controlled safe environment, with an experienced professional) to reduce certain PTSD triggers. But that doesn't eliminate the PTSD itself, it just makes a reaction less likely to be triggered by that stimulus.
Would it be fair to say a certain amount of 'heightened awareness's towards the triggers, a sight,sound,smell,disturbance, are part of the cycle ? A record stuck or skipping continually.
Can't say I give props to the seemingly unafflicted. I tend to think some who may have come out of horrendous situations do so with denial and disassociation as the coping skills.
As opposed to someone that carries PTSD as a hyper sense of awareness to that scenario of instances that inundated the memory and senses.
I don't think it's a glorified condition or one that has a health positive connotation. It's five conditions mixed together, compressed to the umpteenth degree,then explodes with no warning.
I agree with the bolded.
When I was in grade school (well, the school I attended from 4th through 8th grades), there was a girl (we'll call her Laura) who was bullied rather mercilessly by a large percentage of the class--a few people were the prime offenders, but nearly everyone 'took part' at some time or in some way (myself included, unfortunately). She tended to handle the bullying rather admirably, often returning verbal fire at her chief adversaries, never really showing signs of letting the unfair abuse she received affect her behavior/personality (publicly, anyway). In a word, she seemed tough. After grade school ended, she wasn't a person I kept in contact with, and as years passed, I never really had much reason to think about her.
Fast forward to a several summers ago, during...the second-last World Cup, it must've been. I went to a small cafe here in my hometown of Buffalo which is known for airing soccer games, only to find the place packed, with no free tables. I noticed a young woman sitting by herself, studying, and as her table had one of the only available seats, I asked if I could sit with her. She told me it was no problem, and as she looked up and responded, I realized that, all these years later, it was Laura! After some hesitation, I introduced myself (feeling that was necessary given my rather drastic changes in appearance over the 15 years since I'd last seen her), and she had a positive reaction to our surprise reunion. She told me she was studying for medical school in the UK, which she'd just begun attending, and I told her I'd leave her alone, as soccer was my reason for being at the cafe...but we ended up talking a fair amount over the following two hours. I remembered that Laura had been the only girl on the boys' soccer team during our junior high years, and so I would mention the game from time to time, which she had some interest in...but at times I'd bring up our shared school experiences, trying to be careful to keep the references positive. However, I failed egregiously at one point, when I mentioned the person who would easily have been considered her worst tormentor--the one person who, above all, would qualify as someone I should not have brought up. We'll call this person John. She looked at me after I mentioned him, and said, with complete earnestness, 'Who's John?' I may have made mistake number two by attempting to remind her of who John was, but all she said was 'I don't remember a John'. I found the odds that she, an intelligent person, would not remember her chief middle school antagonist to be exactly zero...and so I spent much of the rest of that day thinking about how that sort of 'denial' might work--was she lying to me very convincingly, or had she truly repressed the most painful memories from that time of her life? She seemed to be doing great at the time I saw her, seemingly quite happy, in med school in one of the most interesting cities on the planet, and...might it have taken some repressed memories to get there? I was rather fascinated by this encounter and still am to some degree (hence my willingness to type a semi-long post about it, heh).
I admit I had a good childhood but I've learned to never really blame myself (accept blame but don't wallow in it) for major events. When people close to me have died I don't feel broken, when I witness terrible things I can rationalize it pretty well.
There are lots of people who have lots of bad, sad or scary experiences. You haven't met your deal breaker yet. Hopefully for you, you won't ever.
Not all deaths are created equal. In order for "a death" to be worthy of ptsd it has to have evoked a cognitive dissonance.
"This cannot be happening." "Freak" accidents. Unanticipated loss. Something so inconceivable your brain struggles to understand. Everything goes into slow-motion. Or tunnel vision. I literally heard the sound of a cloth being ripped in two. Felt something break off, for a moment I could see through the eyes of the part of me that left. I saw myself ("her") retreating backwards, exiting my body & running past the stairs. When she turned the corner someone "brought me back" by slamming me against a wall & holding my face in their hands while saying my name. But "she" kept going. I don't know where she went but I have always had the feeling she turned to find my daughter; who's physical body was receiving CPR from the firefighters.
I didn't know it yet but that's when what didn't kill ME stopped making me stronger. So it hasn't happened to you yet. Be glad but don't think too highly of yourself for it.
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I see some people act out when they have suffered from some traumatic event, and I find it annoying when they use that experience to justify their poor behavior.
However it depends on how serious PTSD is or if it can be avoided.
This wasn't my experience. Everyone else knew "something was wrong" with me before I did. I could smile & look you in the eye & say "Huh, me? I'm actually doing FINE!" And you'd belive me for a minute because I was sincere. I wasn't lying because I thought I was fine. Meanwhile my life in reality was like a runaway train.
You wouldn't believe if I told you how bad it got. Then something else happened, the thing that I never talk about anywhere & it sealed the deal. I was a disaster but never once did I blame it on my daughter's death. Why would I? How could I? "I was fine". I was literally the last to know what was happening to me, versus invoking it as an excuse for my behavior.
Has anyone had good results from moving away from a place where your PTSD began? I feel confused sometimes thinking that I want to get away, but then that old saying where "you can't run from your problems" comes into play.
I have PTSD. As an adolescent, I was abused by medical professionals. (Under the OHCHR, it is now considered torture; one of the perpetrators went to prison later.) Today, I have an appointment with a dermatologist. Just that causes flash backs and night of no sleep, even though it happened over 50 years ago and I really like my dermatologist.* They are still learning more about it, its causes and treatment. There are studies going on now to see if large doses of propranolol help. (Small doses can help with the immediate panic and are not addictive like benzo's.) My nephew's wife has it; when she was a child her family was held at gunpoint during a robbery. Her's can be debilitating at times.
When this happens to a younger person whose brain is still being developed, its still not understood how this affects brain development, whether it can affect genetic tags and if those can be passed down generationally.
*My instructions to my family are that I am never to be intubated or "put under" without my prior consent and a family member being there. A few years ago, I had leg surgery and they did it under a local which was not their preference. We will see how that goes as I get older...a hip replacement without being "under" isn't an option.
Has anyone had good results from moving away from a place where your PTSD began? I feel confused sometimes thinking that I want to get away, but then that old saying where "you can't run from your problems" comes into play.
It might help if you're triggered by seeing a certain place or person. For most I don't think it helps because they are triggered by sounds, smells, or situations, and those triggers also happen in the new locations.
When I was in grade school (well, the school I attended from 4th through 8th grades), there was a girl (we'll call her Laura) who was bullied rather mercilessly by a large percentage of the class--a few people were the prime offenders, but nearly everyone 'took part' at some time or in some way (myself included, unfortunately). She tended to handle the bullying rather admirably, often returning verbal fire at her chief adversaries, never really showing signs of letting the unfair abuse she received affect her behavior/personality (publicly, anyway). In a word, she seemed tough. After grade school ended, she wasn't a person I kept in contact with, and as years passed, I never really had much reason to think about her.
Fast forward to a several summers ago, during...the second-last World Cup, it must've been. I went to a small cafe here in my hometown of Buffalo which is known for airing soccer games, only to find the place packed, with no free tables. I noticed a young woman sitting by herself, studying, and as her table had one of the only available seats, I asked if I could sit with her. She told me it was no problem, and as she looked up and responded, I realized that, all these years later, it was Laura! After some hesitation, I introduced myself (feeling that was necessary given my rather drastic changes in appearance over the 15 years since I'd last seen her), and she had a positive reaction to our surprise reunion. She told me she was studying for medical school in the UK, which she'd just begun attending, and I told her I'd leave her alone, as soccer was my reason for being at the cafe...but we ended up talking a fair amount over the following two hours. I remembered that Laura had been the only girl on the boys' soccer team during our junior high years, and so I would mention the game from time to time, which she had some interest in...but at times I'd bring up our shared school experiences, trying to be careful to keep the references positive. However, I failed egregiously at one point, when I mentioned the person who would easily have been considered her worst tormentor--the one person who, above all, would qualify as someone I should not have brought up. We'll call this person John. She looked at me after I mentioned him, and said, with complete earnestness, 'Who's John?' I may have made mistake number two by attempting to remind her of who John was, but all she said was 'I don't remember a John'. I found the odds that she, an intelligent person, would not remember her chief middle school antagonist to be exactly zero...and so I spent much of the rest of that day thinking about how that sort of 'denial' might work--was she lying to me very convincingly, or had she truly repressed the most painful memories from that time of her life? She seemed to be doing great at the time I saw her, seemingly quite happy, in med school in one of the most interesting cities on the planet, and...might it have taken some repressed memories to get there? I was rather fascinated by this encounter and still am to some degree (hence my willingness to type a semi-long post about it, heh).
Thank you for sharing this.
I can relate to "Laura's" experience- what happens for most is they truly move on from that point in their lives. They blossom, get into hobbies, careers, etc. It's actually harmful for people to sit and dwell on their emotional injuries. & Honestly most people don't want to stay stuck in the past. They grow, they change.
It took me a long time but I also learned how to have the kind of response that she did about her main bully- you just remove all importance from the memories of that person. You literally do not respond to triggers about that person because you don't attach importance to those memories.
By the way I was very fortunate in getting to move away and put distance between where I grew up and even family members who were bullies. I am sure it's a bit harder for people who stay in one place.
However, life goes on and most people just kind of ..forget about those kinds of things, mostly.
Has anyone had good results from moving away from a place where your PTSD began? I feel confused sometimes thinking that I want to get away, but then that old saying where "you can't run from your problems" comes into play.
Well that obviously has never worked for our returning soldiers from war zones with PTSD. But if being in that town makes you constantly think of the incident, then maybe it is time. Be careful about running away to a place where you have no support system though.
Has anyone had good results from moving away from a place where your PTSD began? I feel confused sometimes thinking that I want to get away, but then that old saying where "you can't run from your problems" comes into play.
No, I went back to work on the WTC rebuilding project, and eventually, I went back to work in one of the new WTC buildings for my last year of work, then I retired. Kind of had to complete the circle in my mind.
I know people who will never go back there, and even people who will never set foot in NYC again. We all process things differently.
Is it something your born with or is it something a perfectly normally/chemically balanced person develops?
The reason I ask is because oppression/trauma I have faced (no matter how minimal) has made me stronger and more personalized.
I guess what I mean is it feels like I'm less empty when I survive a traumatic event, and makes me wiser and more independent.
I also become kinder than before. So why is PTSD, something that is debilitating (the opposite of what I describe) so common place?
What seems to make an enormous difference as to how people survive trauma, is how much parental/family support they had as a child. Elizabeth Smart, who endured a horrific kidnapping and brutal abuse by her kidnapper, came through it all without PTSD. She chronicles in her writing how much strength she was able to draw from the love she had absorbed from her family growing up. Other trauma survivors had less fortunate family environments in their formative years, so they didn't have those psychological resources to draw on during and after their ordeal, to aid their recovery.
The experience of childhood years with a loving, supportive family can serve as a well of strength from which to draw during and after traumatic conditions. Without that well, the psyche can emerge from trauma battered and broken.
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