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Old 10-16-2020, 08:32 AM
 
13,513 posts, read 19,235,612 times
Reputation: 16580

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yelling_at_Birds View Post
When the subject is broached regarding topics which are things somebody your age should have accomplished by now, is it wrong to deceive people who do not know your past into believing that you haven't missed some major developmental milestones? Is it a waste of time to try to play the catch up game? Or unscrupulous to lie about your age (ha wouldn't this one would be exciting)?
If the "people" can be [deceived] about whether you've passed what THEY consider milestones, then why even give it a second thought?...why not leave it be?.....leave well enough alone...let them think what they will.
Sometimes, deceit can calm the anxious people that fear you might not be or think like them...puts their mind at ease.
It keeps them happy and content.
If these "people" cant tell that you've missed so called "major developmental milestones", why would you feel the need to enlighten them on something YOU may not even consider major, never mind a milestone.
These "people" will only judge you for not passing their own criteria of what's acceptable for you (at your age) to have learned....and who are they to decide that?...and why should anyone care?
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Old 10-16-2020, 08:42 AM
 
6,281 posts, read 4,166,669 times
Reputation: 24751
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This is great advice, OP. You can take charge of the conversation, instead of passively following along. You can say, "I march to the beat of my own drummer, and do things by my own unique timeline", then turn the attention to them, and ask, "how about you" or "How about your kids"? People love to talk about themselves, or about anything that reflects well on them, so you may be surprised as to how easy it is to distract them. If they (rudely) persist in their line of questioning you, just say "I'm a work-in-progress" and change the subject again, or decide you need to leave for an appointment or meeting.

great tips. There is no need to lie. Learning how to deflect nosy questions and redirect a conversation is a much better skill to develop. We don’t owe people our story or answer personal questions.
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Old 10-18-2020, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Way up high
22,237 posts, read 29,269,623 times
Reputation: 31308
I'm 45 now. Never married, no kids, no house purchase, no career.

It is what it is.

Everyone has their own path down this thing we call life
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Old 10-19-2020, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
23,658 posts, read 13,854,634 times
Reputation: 18834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yelling_at_Birds View Post
When the subject is broached regarding topics which are things somebody your age should have accomplished by now, is it wrong to deceive people who do not know your past into believing that you haven't missed some major developmental milestones? Is it a waste of time to try to play the catch up game? Or unscrupulous to lie about your age (ha wouldn't this one would be exciting)?
Let's see, almost 60. I suppose I should be married, at least once, and be a grand mother by now.

Well as far as the catch up game goes, that would be useless and probably harmful. I am not rich like Diane Keaton and probably wouldn't want to be her, anyhow.....nice sounding ranch, though......or maybe that was someone else.

If I tell them anything, it won't be a lie.
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Old 10-20-2020, 12:31 PM
 
568 posts, read 311,471 times
Reputation: 2191
I used to wonder about kids around the time it was nearly too late, almost wistful. But the truth was, if it was that important, I would have at least tried. I thought about it once when in a relationship but it ended and took a little too much of my time. After doing some caretaking, I see what an exhausting job it is. I see if you want kids you should be at a mature point of stability with a lot of family support and yet be young enough to have the energy you need, as well as fulfilled career objectives before. I wouldn't try to be a single parent. That is herculean. I admire those many single parents who do it well. I am glad I didn't because the result I am not sure about. So, I guess it is for the best. There are ways to volunteer, help raise or influence young people, too. One doesn't need to procreate. After reading about horrific child abuse and neglect, I wish people were more careful about it and educated. I went to uni but had debt, as is typical. I don’t know if I would do it again.
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