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Don't take this the wrong way, but reading this post made me very sad.
Can you imagine how much better everyone's life would be if BOTH of you were happy?
I'm just a realist... and I've been kicked in the teeth quite a lot the last few years. Moments where I'm happy are few and far between but my wife is not the cause for that. I take vacations (but none this year, thanks Covid) and we have a really well stocked bar for me to keep going day in, day out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV
You aren't wrong, but your statement seems to imply that his wife has a direct causative effect on his unhappiness. There are a lot of things that are making me less than happy lately, and my wife doesn't come into play on any of them, really. They aren't her fault, she can't fix them, and she can't do much to make it easier/better.
Exactly.
Honestly, I bet a lot of people would envy my life, but for me, I went from having a stable life with very little worry to one where it seems I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I cope as best I can. I make a lot of money, but that's about all I can say is positive... and even that could be temporary.
You aren't wrong, but your statement seems to imply that his wife has a direct causative effect on his unhappiness. There are a lot of things that are making me less than happy lately, and my wife doesn't come into play on any of them, really. They aren't her fault, she can't fix them, and she can't do much to make it easier/better.
Here's a silly example.
My wife wanted another dog. I didn't want another dog. I didn't hate the idea of it, just would have waited a few more years to get another one. My reasons for not wanting one weren't that big of a deal to me. We got a dog.
My wife wanted to go on a cruise, us and some other couples. Nope. No way, no how. They aren't fun for me, and I'm not spending that money on something that I'll viscerally NOT like while simultaneously consuming vacation days. We didn't go on that cruise.
Actually I think those are lovely examples, and a great sign that you and your wife can compromise peacefully.
The "happy wife..." chestnut and its surlier cousin "if mama ain't happy, nobody's happy" both imply (based on how I see them used) that the wife would intentionally or unintentionally blunt other family member's happiness if she is not given her way. That's why I think those cliches are lame and old.
It seems to always be used in the context of give your wife what she wants even if it means everyone else settling for an outcome that increases unhappiness.
Are you married? I've been married for over 24 years and my husband does believe in the happy wife happy life philosophy. Why? Because I take care of almost everything in our home! I schedule everything our lives outside of work. All he has to do is show up - no need to buy a gift or make a dish to pass. That's all done for him. Years ago he decided to let me pick the restaurant we ate at because I'm a picky eater. It carried into other things in life. Often times now I'll give him a few options when we eat out and he still usually tells me to pick. He knows if I'm happy then I won't be miserable company.
If he decided to go to a sushi place for dinner, he knows I would be absolutely miserable. I HATE seafood - cooked or raw. I don't eat raw fish. I don't like Asian cuisine in general. So I would sit there starving while he stuffed his face. This would not make for happy times in our marriage. He is free to go without me and I make other plans.
The saying is geared more towards healthy households where neither party has married a jerk.
My husband commented while I was with my sis on vacation that it's like the soul left the house. A home became a house. Women still are traditionally the "nurturers" so they kinda set the tone for family life.
My husband's happiness is extremely important to me. He frequently says "happy wife, happy life."
Yup. Mine hates when I travel. He can't sleep. He's always worried that he should be doing something. He doesn't know what to do with himself when I'm not home. He's so used to me taking care of pretty much everything that he really doesn't know what to do without me home. He says the house is too quiet when I'm gone.
Are you married? I've been married for over 24 years and my husband does believe in the happy wife happy life philosophy. Why? Because I take care of almost everything in our home! I schedule everything our lives outside of work. All he has to do is show up - no need to buy a gift or make a dish to pass. That's all done for him. Years ago he decided to let me pick the restaurant we ate at because I'm a picky eater. It carried into other things in life. Often times now I'll give him a few options when we eat out and he still usually tells me to pick. He knows if I'm happy then I won't be miserable company.
If he decided to go to a sushi place for dinner, he knows I would be absolutely miserable. I HATE seafood - cooked or raw. I don't eat raw fish. I don't like Asian cuisine in general. So I would sit there starving while he stuffed his face. This would not make for happy times in our marriage. He is free to go without me and I make other plans.
Almost 22 years for us, and I'm apparently much more active in our household activities and maintenance.
Only people who say that have been guys who are totally "Whipped"!
ROFL.
My FIL is the least whipped man I know. He rules everything he is involved in with an iron will. My MIL is one of the nicest, easy going, gracious woman you will ever meet.
And even my FIL says Happy Wife, Happy Life and means it.
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Only people who say that have been guys who are totally "Whipped"!
The only people who say "Happy wife, happy life" are whipped? Hmmm. You believe that? (I want to make sure I'm understanding your POV here.)
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