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Old 12-04-2020, 09:52 AM
 
1 posts, read 980 times
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I’m 20 years old and my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. We just got a very nice house. Nicer than my dads house. I loved it at first but now I hate it. All I want to do it be at my dads house with my dad and my dog who I’ve known almost my whole life. I was fine the first month but now I’m depressed, anxious, and crying random times throughout the day. When I go visit them I’m still sad cause I have to leave. I don’t know what to do but I just want to feel myself again. I miss my dads house and I wish I never bought this new house. It’s furnished and everything but I’m still sad. How do I get over this and will I ever? Did you have any experiences like this?
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Old 12-04-2020, 10:03 AM
 
6,361 posts, read 4,187,402 times
Reputation: 13064
Find a good therapist, seriously!
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Old 12-04-2020, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,088 posts, read 2,561,084 times
Reputation: 12495
Quote:
Originally Posted by kassidy523 View Post
I’m 20 years old and my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. We just got a very nice house. Nicer than my dads house. I loved it at first but now I hate it. All I want to do it be at my dads house with my dad and my dog who I’ve known almost my whole life. I was fine the first month but now I’m depressed, anxious, and crying random times throughout the day. When I go visit them I’m still sad cause I have to leave. I don’t know what to do but I just want to feel myself again. I miss my dads house and I wish I never bought this new house. It’s furnished and everything but I’m still sad. How do I get over this and will I ever? Did you have any experiences like this?

What you're experiencing seems to have nothing to do with the house itself, but the fact that you're no longer a child living under her parent's roof.

Perhaps you weren't quite for what being a soon-to-be married adult woman would entail. It's a lot to take it, a big adjustment if you weren't gradually prepared throughout childhood for living on your own (with or without a spouse), and can be overwhelming at first. How soon are you to be married?
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Old 12-04-2020, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Home is Where You Park It
23,856 posts, read 13,749,968 times
Reputation: 15482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rickcin View Post
Find a good therapist, seriously!
I agree.

I've been through depression. Don't try to tough it out on your own.

Most depressions end eventually. But without the help of a therapist, you can waste years of your life feeling miserable, alienating people close to you, and making poor decisions.
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Old 12-04-2020, 02:36 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,297 posts, read 18,824,628 times
Reputation: 75297
Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty View Post
What you're experiencing seems to have nothing to do with the house itself, but the fact that you're no longer a child living under her parent's roof.

Perhaps you weren't quite for what being a soon-to-be married adult woman would entail. It's a lot to take it, a big adjustment if you weren't gradually prepared throughout childhood for living on your own (with or without a spouse), and can be overwhelming at first. How soon are you to be married?
All of this. OP the house is simply contributing to a larger issue that you probably need some help unpacking. That being said, new home owners often have a bit of buyer's remorse once the thrill of shopping and finding a house (the most expensive thing you'll probably ever buy) ends and the reality of the long term financial commitment sinks in. Even if nothing is wrong with the house or your financial situation, there is often a bit of a letdown once life settles into its new normal.
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Old 12-04-2020, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,161,541 times
Reputation: 50802
You’ve been with your fiancee since you were 15? Good gracious. No wonder you are upset. I agree with the other posters that you need counseling. I am guessing you are too young, at 20, to be settling down, but I am only an internet poster, not a qualified professional.

Find a counselor or therapist and do the work to sort yourself out. Don’t marry this guy until you do!
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Old 12-05-2020, 09:46 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
726 posts, read 328,952 times
Reputation: 953
Quote:
Originally Posted by kassidy523 View Post
...I was fine the first month but now I’m depressed, anxious, and crying random times throughout the day....

Maybe you're pregnant.
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Old 12-05-2020, 03:13 PM
 
Location: The Carolinas
2,511 posts, read 2,818,180 times
Reputation: 7982
You're too young and things are moving way too fast.

See a therapist.

Bring your dog to your new home or adopt one

Put wedding on hold if you've set a date.

Move back home for awhile.
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Old 12-06-2020, 08:38 AM
 
Location: USA
2,830 posts, read 2,652,779 times
Reputation: 4908
I began dating my husband at age 15 and married at 20. We've been married almost 25 years now. I think you're missing home (obviously) and it all happened at once. I agree that you should seek counseling because it could be depression and you don't want to let that go. Becoming a wife, homeowner, adult in general all at once is quite a load to take on. Don't beat yourself up about it, find things that calm you and make you feel comfortable in your surroundings.
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Old 12-06-2020, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
1,343 posts, read 1,372,801 times
Reputation: 2794
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boone1791 View Post
Maybe you're pregnant.
I had the same thought.

But I still agree with the others who have urged you to find a therapist. You might be reluctant to do that because you're afraid to "make waves." But you may find that you are fundamentally fine with the decisions you have made, but just need to work through what they mean for you and what your priorities are.

Good luck!
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