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What you're experiencing seems to have nothing to do with the house itself, but the fact that you're no longer a child living under her parent's roof.
Perhaps you weren't quite for what being a soon-to-be married adult woman would entail. It's a lot to take it, a big adjustment if you weren't gradually prepared throughout childhood for living on your own (with or without a spouse), and can be overwhelming at first. How soon are you to be married?
I've been through depression. Don't try to tough it out on your own.
Most depressions end eventually. But without the help of a therapist, you can waste years of your life feeling miserable, alienating people close to you, and making poor decisions.
What you're experiencing seems to have nothing to do with the house itself, but the fact that you're no longer a child living under her parent's roof.
Perhaps you weren't quite for what being a soon-to-be married adult woman would entail. It's a lot to take it, a big adjustment if you weren't gradually prepared throughout childhood for living on your own (with or without a spouse), and can be overwhelming at first. How soon are you to be married?
All of this. OP the house is simply contributing to a larger issue that you probably need some help unpacking. That being said, new home owners often have a bit of buyer's remorse once the thrill of shopping and finding a house (the most expensive thing you'll probably ever buy) ends and the reality of the long term financial commitment sinks in. Even if nothing is wrong with the house or your financial situation, there is often a bit of a letdown once life settles into its new normal.
You’ve been with your fiancee since you were 15? Good gracious. No wonder you are upset. I agree with the other posters that you need counseling. I am guessing you are too young, at 20, to be settling down, but I am only an internet poster, not a qualified professional.
Find a counselor or therapist and do the work to sort yourself out. Don’t marry this guy until you do!
I began dating my husband at age 15 and married at 20. We've been married almost 25 years now. I think you're missing home (obviously) and it all happened at once. I agree that you should seek counseling because it could be depression and you don't want to let that go. Becoming a wife, homeowner, adult in general all at once is quite a load to take on. Don't beat yourself up about it, find things that calm you and make you feel comfortable in your surroundings.
But I still agree with the others who have urged you to find a therapist. You might be reluctant to do that because you're afraid to "make waves." But you may find that you are fundamentally fine with the decisions you have made, but just need to work through what they mean for you and what your priorities are.
Good luck!
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