The pursuit of happiness (introvert, mentally, dating, college)

[zd12]

Two things that are a concern in my life at the moment that makes me unhappy which are my work life and love life.
In regards to my work life I have a pretty decent job, get paid decently but I work a lot. I put in 72 hours every 2 weeks on nights. I constantly feel that I am at work and I only get 2 days off but only 1 full day off... not accounting catching up on sleep etc... This is not the sole reason why I am unhappy but it contributes to it. I had these same feelings of wanting something better in my previous jobs so I think I just dislike corporate America and working for others. The sad part is I have barely done 1 year of work ever since I graduated and I already feel mentally and physically tired already. I don't see myself living very long if I continue with this path or living a life I want. Basically just clock in do my work and clock out. its unfulfilling. Only way I feel like I can get out of it is if I work for myself have my own business where I can set my own hours and hire/work with whoever I want to. I would probably be more passionate and more motivated but I don't know what business I would go into atm.

My current goal is adopting the FIRE movement. Not necessarily to retire early per se but have the financial freedom to just work a lot less. Maybe work 1 or 2 days a week while maintaining a certain lifestyle would be great. I live pretty modestly and don't really spend a lot of money. Then again I am a single guy. I imagine things would change when I have a wife and kids. I am pretty youngish almost entering my 30s and don't really have any responsibilities and debt other than student loans which I will pay off pretty soon.

My second concern is my love life. I think deep down this is my major reason for the funk that I feel like I am in. As I said before I am almost entering my 30s and out of everyone in my family I am still single. The feeling of just being lonely sucks and it doesn't help I am in a different state with little to no friends. It would be great to just have a stable relationship and have someone who I can come to home everyday and relax with. Most people at my job are a lot older than me with family and kids. I can only think of 1 friend who I can actively call up if I needed help for any reason. I keep in contact with some old friends but we are all busy adulting in different states.

I'm not sure what my deal is but it just seems that the girls that shows interest in me I don't want and the girls I want are taken or don't want me. I'm still trying to understand this part of my life but I think finding someone that is compatible is difficult. I have been in 3 relationships in the past and a lot more hook ups so I don't think I am completely undesirable. I am college educated, have a respectable job, work out, good head on my shoulders from what I have been told, been told I am good looking by women, been told I have a good and inviting personality. The point of telling this is not to boast myself but to just give a better idea of me.

I think there is a combination of things why I am still single. Things that I can think of is I work a lot especially on nights so I have little free time, I am also introverted so I don't actively ask girls out in person just mainly through dating apps. I have the ability to talk to people and can be outgoing but my social interactions are mainly limited to just work people at the moment. It just feels like if theres a girl that sparks my interest she is most likely taken. I just think its harder to make friends when you get older too. Not like it was in high school or college. I don't think I am that picky but I would like to feel somewhat attracted physically with the person. Idk. Just my random thoughts. It was a bit cathartic to write this out since its been on my mind and I wouldn't exactly talk to anyone about this in person.