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I ma done with this topic. The answers triggers me more.
I actually get more urge to talk to him when I am this anxious.
Leave me alone.
Close the topic
I am done with asking for help.
You guys are so ruthless
This is a psychology topic and yet you try to burn me down with your stupid comments.
He has more sensitivity that all of you.
A piece of advice: when you open yourself up on the internet, you're opening yourself up to the entire world and you're going to get a myriad of responses from a myriad of people who have a myriad of opinions. Don't post about any topic where you don't want this. Evaluate where you are posting-- this forum is not known for being "kind and gentle." Evaluate *what* you are posting and think about how others may respond to it.
The truth is that on your other thread, you got good advice to let this guy go, for many reasons (frankly, I have no idea why that isn't something your therapist already told you). I'm sorry that's not what you wanted to hear, but you asked for advice and you got what you asked for. In future, if you want other people's advice to be along a certain set of lines, then only ask people who you know will confirm what you want to hear. Otherwise, you cannot predict or control what other people will say.
This sounds harsh but it's true. Sometimes life has harsh truths. Sometimes they're even the ones we learn the most from.
Update everyone.
I asked him if we should stop texting and I am ok with any answer he gave me and he said he likes to explore more about us and wants to start video chat and meeting in person more.
I am not sure what changed his mind or even when he said texting he had the same intention in mind but I like this guy and if he wants to give us a chance I would love that.
Thanks for your advice and whatever happened I will open a thread probably about it. But from my experience no one knows this guy and everyone are telling about their own experience.
Update everyone.
I asked him if we should stop texting and I am ok with any answer he gave me and he said he likes to explore more about us and wants to start video chat and meeting in person more.
I am not sure what changed his mind or even when he said texting he had the same intention in mind but I like this guy and if he wants to give us a chance I would love that.
Thanks for your advice and whatever happened I will open a thread probably about it. But from my experience no one knows this guy and everyone are telling about their own experience.
Good luck Tina. You really should just update this one if you want more advice verses starting a new one.
I wouldn't have asked if he wanted to stop texting. Personally I think you tell him too much too soon. You're leaving no mystery. Since you don't really know him in person because you haven't spent much together time, you really don't know what chemistry you will have after telling him about your stress and depression. He may eventually block you.
Update everyone.
I asked him if we should stop texting and I am ok with any answer he gave me and he said he likes to explore more about us and wants to start video chat and meeting in person more.
I am not sure what changed his mind or even when he said texting he had the same intention in mind but I like this guy and if he wants to give us a chance I would love that.
Thanks for your advice and whatever happened I will open a thread probably about it. But from my experience no one knows this guy and everyone are telling about their own experience.
How else would anyone answer? We all answer queries based on our experience and observation.
Update everyone.
I asked him if we should stop texting and I am ok with any answer he gave me and he said he likes to explore more about us and wants to start video chat and meeting in person more.
I am not sure what changed his mind or even when he said texting he had the same intention in mind but I like this guy and if he wants to give us a chance I would love that.
Thanks for your advice and whatever happened I will open a thread probably about it. But from my experience no one knows this guy and everyone are telling about their own experience.
Most things in life are based on experience. You touch a hot stove as a kid, it hurts, you stop touching hot stoves. Because of experience (or, if you're lucky, it's your little brother or friend who touches the stove and you learn from someone else's experience, and woe to you if you decide you must try it yourself because their advice to stay away is based on "their own experience" and you don't trust it). Scientists do an experiment and learn something. Because of experience. People live their lives and find out how to act (and not act) around other people. Because of experience. We learn from our elders and people learned in subjects because of their experience. You can come up with theories all day long, but in the end you're going to need to test some of them and find out what actually works. That's experience.
If you only want opinions from people who know this guy personally, then you're asking in the wrong place. However, at the end of the day, in the basic ways most people are largely the same, so some generalizations can be made without knowing the specific person in question. For example: in general it's best to interact with people who show definite interest in you; it's going to be hard for someone to act as therapist/sounding board for an acquaintance; etc.
ETA: OP, you want to believe that most people here are trying to be adversarial to you, but we're trying to help you. Preferably without you having to find out some things "the hard way"-- IOW, through your own experience. It's all well and good to learn through experience, but it's a lot easier to learn from others' experience, and learn from their pain rather than having to feel it yourself.
How else would anyone answer? We all answer queries based on our experience and observation.
That's not true nor should it be. Many people can view situations and form advice way beyond the box and restrictions of just their own experience.
One should not be posting advice or thoughts for an OP to consider based solely on just their own experience - but instead from viewing the world, other people, reading widely, learning from the experience of others, talking to others, seeking knowledge, being open to sources of information, keeping abreast of cultural and social happenings & trends......not just from one's own life.
You've been married to the same man for 50 years...your entire life.
You can give opinions, but what do you really know about what the life of the OP encompasses, and the forces in the life of the young OP culturally, socially, and psychologically -
a 76 year old woman married to a man for 50 years should not be advising the OP solely just from your experience.....
I think that's why she said "from experience AND observation."
This is an open forum and anyone can ask questions or give advice or opinions or their perspective, etc. And I don't think that most people (maybe not anyone) here KNOW the OP, culturally, socially, psychologically - all we can sift through is what the OP shares with us, and that may or may not even be true.
I think the OP should expect to get a wide range of answers from many different perspectives - if lucky. This includes answers and insight from 76 year old women who have been married to the same person for 50 years.
I suspect the questioning "yay" part... OP got what she wanted but not really, since what she really wanted was a relationship but was willing to take any crumbs this guy was willing to throw her.
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