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My father is a snowbird, so typically he spends November through May in Florida, but due to Covid he hasn't been able to do that this year, so I guess that's why it's extra hard on me this year.
I'm also in the process of buying a new place, and haven't yet sold the place I currently own, so that's an added stress but I'm more optimistic about that than anything else right now.
As for my working from home, the company decided to implement that permanently so even when this pandemic is over we're still not going back to the office and that upsets me. Everyone tells me I'm crazy for feeling this way, that it's a dream come true but not for me. I have a great job, but have been thinking once I move, I'll either look for a side gig (thinking realtor) or try switching jobs completely (which I would hate to do).
I should say, I do go outside. I run errands almost daily, back in the summer and fall I was great with going on long runs and walks, however the past few weeks have been super cold here and haven't given me the motivation to go for walks and runs, plus I tend to go outside in the late afternoon and it's already dark by 4pm so that puts a damper on things. But you're right, I'm going to force myself to back to my daily walks/runs even if it is cold out, I can layer up!
It sounds like you're taking some good steps to see some brighter days ahead (both figuratively and literally).
As far as the change of seasons, it sounds like you're further north than me. I don't like cold either already and it's not dark until 5:30 PM here (which is tough enough) but one good thing about this time of year, from this point on, is that the daylight has already started increasing (slowly) and will be getting better to where we'll notice it more in just a few weeks.
Yes, thank you. I'll keep looking, I know my company also offers some hotline for emotional support but I don't know the qualifications of the people on the other end of these phone calls.
I would call anyway. They’re usually trained professionals, not psychologists or psychiatrists but counsellor types. It’s someone to talk to who can give you some resources or just an impartial ear to listen to.
I understand how you feel OP, since I have been going through much the same thing - you have my heartfelt sympathy. I was already feeling very isolated back in the summer and fall and these dark, cold days of winter feel like the last straw. I asked my PA to give me something for depression, but all she wants to prescribe is duloxetine which does absolutely nothing for me. I am thinking of getting an appointment with a psychiatrist in the hope that he would be more open to letting me try a more effective antidepressant. There are any number of antidepressants out there and sometimes you have to try two or three before you find one that works, so don't give up on the idea of meds just yet.
Even though we all have been going through this for what feels like an eternity, one day this too shall pass. Hang on to that thought. I have a roommate, so I'm not completely alone, but he spends most of his time in his room, playing computer games, so he's not exactly the ideal companion. Some days my dog is the only thing that helps me keep going. If I don't walk him or at least take him out and play ball with him, I feel like I'm letting him down. On many days, he's become the only reason I get out at all.
Please know that you are not alone and that many of us are struggling with feelings of isolation. Spring can't come soon enough for me, but it WILL come, and one day these bleak times will only be a memory. We are all going to get through this, one step at a time and one day at a time. Sending you all the best in these dark days.
Try Zoloft. I was on a low dose of it and it did the job quite well. I went off it a few months ago, and I've had some really bad days, but they were manageable. I did not like the fact that I wasn't really able to cry when I was on it, but it did produce the results I needed.
As for therapy, have you tried that "BetterHelp" site? That might be a good band aid until you find a therapist in your area, just to have a mental health professional to talk to in the meantime.
Yes, the antidepressants all have some side effects but they pass with time. And you really need to stay on one for at least a month for it to take effect. Do you have any idea of the numbers of people on these meds these days? Tons. Your physician can handle this for you very adequately so please call for an appt. and tell him/her what happened with Lexapro. BTW, insomnia is one symptom of depression.
Some people are more suited to being home and others need people around them. Forget about what others are saying to you. They don't know how bad you are feeling, and some people talk just to hear themselves speak.
I'm sure I'm an old fossil, but it was my understanding that antidepressants were intended for endogenous clinical depression -- that is, coming seemingly out of nowhere and not caused by "depressing" external situations -- but not exogenous depression -- that is, feelings of grief, loss, sadness, or loneliness which are perfectly normal under the circumstances. It seems that now these SSRIs are prescribed with the intent of inducing happiness where it's not warranted.
According to you, you've lost your social life and support system, you live alone and are isolated and bored, so of course you're feeling BLAH. I just don't see that as abnormal or a "disorder" in need of "treatment," especially with psychotropics. I do, however, agree that it's a problem and one our so-called health experts are completely ignoring for whatever reason.
If it would help to speak to a counselor, you should pursue that, but also realize that no normal person would feel otherwise under the circumstances (same when you lose a loved one; another situation that just has to be lived through and not "cured" with drugs). I, too, live alone and WFH and often don't leave the house because...what for? I don't know that I'm "depressed," but I miss my old life and friends and have also lost my motivation and ambition.
Alas, just lying around doing nothing seems to be habit-forming and self-perpetuating. Newton said it best: an object in motion will remain in motion; an object at rest will remain at rest.
My only point is, you're not "sick"; the life we're currently being forced to live is.
Last edited by otterhere; 12-27-2020 at 08:49 PM..
"The close friends I used to talk to almost daily when the pandemic began are now busy..."
"I still wanted to do things (the limited amount of this I can do due to covid) and see my friends, but now I have no desire to do either."
That's the problem. You don't have medical depression, it's more situational. You need friendship, and with those in your age range and similar life stage. This will be true even when covid goes away.
If you are in the north you lack sun so take vit D3.
Thank you for saying that. Yes, I've heard it before (my doctor said that to me when he prescribed the lexapro) but it still is comforting to hear.
I agree the mental health impacts of this are brutal, and the worst part is having guilt for feeling this way when others are dying and people are losing loved ones. So far my family and everyone close to me have been spared, so I should feel lucky but I don't. I was talking to a friend about a month ago and I told her it's been a terrible year, and her response was "how has it been terrible for you, you're still alive and people are dying" I was so taken aback by that and then started questioning myself for saying something like that. This friend is also an introvert, so she hasn't really felt much emotional impact by the shutdown.
I hate when people do that. Do not for a moment believe your feelings are invalid just because your situation is not as bad as some people's.
"The close friends I used to talk to almost daily when the pandemic began are now busy..."
"I still wanted to do things (the limited amount of this I can do due to covid) and see my friends, but now I have no desire to do either."
That's the problem. You don't have medical depression, it's more situational. You need friendship, and with those in your age range and similar life stage. This will be true even when covid goes away.
If you are in the north you lack sun so take vit D3.
[i]If you are in the north you lack sun so take vit D3.
Why would someone in the north "lack sun"? If anything, there is MORE sun (meaning clear blue skies) in the north than in the south where there's usually a humid haze hanging over everything. Yes, it's colder and snowier in the north, but that's what winter clothing is for. You should go outside every day even if it's just to sit in the sun; better yet, force yourself to take a walk around the block or longer. It will do you good.
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