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You are the issue because you are making it an issue. You don’t need to justify,defend or explain to anyone what your choices are, you are happy and that’s all that counts. I’ll go even further and ask why you even give people around you the impression they can ask or offer advice. Perhaps you need to set some boundaries or choose different friends, or stop telling people.
I'm not. People consistently ask me why I do not have any children or am not married yet. I am just finally coming out as asexual, and I don't want to get married, have kids, due to having no desire for sex. That's what I am doing. Being asexual to me is normal. Everyone else seems to have a problem.
Why are so many people talking to you about sex? Why are YOU talking to so many people about sex? Typically, outside the "locker room" it's not just brought up randomly, leading me to think that YOU are initiating conversation or bringing it up during more general conversation around relationships, marriage, or kids. YOU need to stop talking about it.
This is what I'm thinking. The subject doesn't come up in the conversations I have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tyc113
I'm not. People consistently ask me why I do not have any children or am not married yet. I am just finally coming out as asexual, and I don't want to get married, have kids, due to having no desire for sex. That's what I am doing. Being asexual to me is normal. Everyone else seems to have a problem.
Tell them it's none of their business. I had an assistant at work once who was trying to be little miss matchmaker once and I finally had to tell her that my personal life was none of her business.
OP was told what to do on his other thread. He got over 100 replies.
Another thread won't teach him anything new.
He might be venting, but he might be just boasting about his life choices. Who knows...
Most 30 y.o. adults know how to redirect conversation or stop inconvenient questions. I think he just likes to talk about and starts the topic by himself. Like here, on this board.
OP was told what to do on his other thread. He got over 100 replies.
Another thread won't teach him anything new.
He might be venting, but he might be just boasting about his life choices. Who knows...
Most 30 y.o. adults know how to redirect conversation or stop inconvenient questions. I think he just likes to talk about and starts the topic by himself. Like here, on this board.
100% true. Plus in his old thread, he said he'd have sex with his wife, considered the priesthood, and generally seemed confused about the differences between celibacy and asexuality.
This reminds me of the old joke about vegans (though I've heard it about atheists and others)..
Q: "How do you know someone is a vegan?"
A: "Oh don't worry...they'll tell you."
People who say why who cares, not an issue. It is because its hard to pair successfully if you arent interested in sex. And heaven forbid if you aren't paired.
The whole world is sex crazed, for those of who don't care for it, we do get a sort of you must be strange/different/unabomber looks
S
... I'm tired of people telling me that I should just "try it out once" or saying that I "need to get laid" all the time. I'm sick of people saying that I just need to find someone and fall in love, so I won't end up alone. I don't care if I am alone. I actually enjoy being single...
Then quit offering information about your being asexual to friends and acquaintances, or responding with information when asked about your status or orientation. It's nobody's business. I have been single for a good portion of my life (I'm 73), and can count the number of times on one hand where someone's suggested I need to find someone and fall in love. It's easy to deflect questions without being rude; practice it. If you are surrounded by people who persist in poking and prodding for information, you need to decide whether you're choosing the right kind of friends. Mature people don't pull this kind of crap on their friends.
I think this is more about having a chip on your shoulder prompted by insecurity and less about true asexuality. Even more so after reading parts of your other thread (which I have a hard time believing you "forgot").
Ok. Well, I honestly did forget. I just now know that I made that post years ago, even before officially coming out as asexual.
Interesting you call me having a chip on my shoulder. Try going your whole life being constantly accused of disorder or wondering if there is something broken about you for not wanting sex. Being accused of being gay, being accused of being some creep, etc. I'd like you to try and not feel a chip on my shoulder. People simply don't get asexuality in the real world.
Ok. Well, I honestly did forget. I just now know that I made that post years ago, even before officially coming out as asexual.
Interesting you call me having a chip on my shoulder. Try going your whole life being constantly accused of disorder or wondering if there is something broken about you for not wanting sex. Being accused of being gay, being accused of being some creep, etc. I'd like you to try and not feel a chip on my shoulder. People simply don't get asexuality in the real world.
Maybe I am hanging with the wrong people. My area is highly traditional, and everyone seems to think that you have to get married and have kids with a dog. I never wanted that, and I want my asexual life accepted. It gets annoying having people consistently tell me that I need to conform or try sex because it's "essential" to them.
Why can't you simply tell questioners that you don't discuss your personal life? Period.
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