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In short yes, but that’s also because we’re on a discussion forum and the topics we engage in are a lot weightier than what we normally converse about when hanging out with friends and family. At least, that’s my take on it.
Great question, I'm pretty blunt in real life and pretty blunt on here also. Learned it from my dad - who has never been known to waste any words and never been afraid to drop some profanity if he thought the situation called for it, LOL
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Originally Posted by Coldjensens
Mostly no. The people I am normally around tend to be people who understand sarcasm and dry humor. Otherwise they do not want to be around me. On CD few people understand sarcasm or dry humor, partly because it does not convey as well in writing. sine 90 of what i write seems to gt taken wrong by at least someone on CD, I tended to be a lot more careful in DCD. Often I may write a post that is something I might say, but then read it over and decide to delete it. in real life, once you say it, it is said. There is no deleting or editing. You just have to charge ahead.
On the other hand, sometimes on CD I just do not care, since is makes no difference whether I offend someone or not, or I get few up by some really stupid comment and react in ways that I would not in real life. Generally if someone in real life says something incredibly stupid, I just smile and turn and walk away. On Cd - not always.
I am more blunt in person, if someone says something stupid to me I have no problem with expressing exactly how I feel about it.
Here on CD I have to tone it down, and still get psanked, sometimes for the reasons Cj notes (lack of comprehension of sarcasm/humor) and sometimes because some folks just completely fail at reading and comprehension, and are utterly devoid of knowledge of creative writing techniques.
Sometimes a spade needs to be called a spade, and a troll needs to be called a troll. Sometimes, utterly ridiculous comments should be treated with the exact definition of the word- subject to ridicule.
LOL, I got a 'vacation' back in November...but I never knew about it until this weekend because I had already taken a voluntary vacation from this place because certain stupidity was overwhelming...oh well...
Everybody is more candid on the internet than they are in real life. It's just a natural consequence of anonymous communication. What I've learned however is that the effects on your person are the same and you will suffer the consequences, good or bad. Whatever sarcastic, nasty, comment you say online goes right back into you and effects your mood, your communication, your relationships, your day, etc. So be careful what you're pouring out and what you think is just fun, witty, candor.
Oh, no, I used to greatly enjoy a good old usenet flamewar.
There are "personal" things that I have shared here, that I am not really opposed to sharing in real life... But the difference is that in real life, I'm running a lot of non verbal assessments of what kind of person I'm talking to, and what is likely to make them uncomfortable, if they even want to be having much of a conversation with me at all...and stopping to hear what they have to say, and that also steers the conversation here and there... Like, disclosure of many of the things I've talked about here, I would not be too embarrassed or whatever, but I'm also not just going to drop my whole story on random people. It's not shame, it's basic consideration.
Why, then, would I assume that anyone here would want to hear it? Well, some people don't. Some do. Some have told me that they appreciate my contributions, and that's why I continue to contribute. I figure that here, if someone finds me intolerable, that's fine, they can feel free to ignore me, either to scroll on by or use the block button. I don't consider it any big deal to be on somebody's ignore list. I don't feel like I won some kind of edgy troll points for that, or that they got "upset" or that I got to them or that they hate me... I just know, I'm not everyone's cuppa tea, just as not everyone is mine.
So I think that I'm willing to say much the same things, it's just that in person, I feel it's my responsibility as the speaker, to moderate myself based on a lot of context...but here (and in general online) I feel it's the reader/viewer who needs to be responsible for curating their own content. Much like I hear tons of complaint about Facebook...but I think that's odd, because you can control who you are "friends" with on there, and you are not actually obligated to keep someone on your feed if they don't produce content you enjoy. I don't consider Facebook or similar platforms to be the same as real human relationships, they are entertainment to me. I'm there for the cat videos and funnies, and intelligent written content from a few people I admire and respect. I had one friend some time ago, I actually told him in person, "I will like you a lot more if we are not friends on Facebook." It's just like that sometimes. I don't expect everyone to only post stuff I want to see, it's my job to manage my own feed and make my experience there a good one, for myself.
But here...well, one thing, occasionally I get a little thin on patience for some of the long term posters who just repeat the same grievances over and over and stay stuck in their unhappy situations, and here, once in a while, I'll throw tough love at them. In real life, I'd have simply stopped talking to them if I found them so tiresome.
I am much more polite online here, and elsewhere, than I am in person. In fact, someone said something stupid to me a couple hours ago and left the conversation by calling me an ill tempered bastard as he walked away. That was after I told him that I understood why he's a dumbass.
That's not true at all.
Of course people can have discussions (an exchange of ideas) -- and be open, and honest, plain speaking -- without being blunt. The two things have nothing to do with each other.
I'm almost the same. Differences are I rarely get the chance to spout off about anything in real life. No one wants to hear speeches on this or that. I am also a little more polite in my presentation in real life - try to be "pleasant."
That facade is not "necessary" here (I know some would disagree, but one of the reasons I like posting online is that you can be more unfiltered, i.e., more "real" than you could be in "real life," (without facing negative repercussions).
This is kind of true. In real life, a person has more relationships where they have to play politics, preserve the niceness, etc. because they need to preserve those relationships. They have to keep the in-laws happy, not create animosity with coworkers, not alienate family, etc.
Online, "relationships" are fleeting, if you can even call them relationships. Decide you don't like people on C-D? You can leave and be done with it, no regrets or repercussions, because it doesn't matter; there's no need to not burn bridges or to care about other people, it's true, but also no need to play the fakey-fake nicey-nice games you have to play in real life even when the person deserves to be torn apart or needs to hear a difficult truth.
In addition, online you don't know people the way you know people you're close to in real life. You may come across as "offensive" or "mean" simply because you don't know that person and don't know what will offend/hurt them, don't know how to soften/sculpt your answer the way you would for a close friend whose triggers or insecurities or quirks you know.
And sure, some people find it easier to confess or rant about certain things online where no one knows them or the situation. It makes sense. If Bob posts here that he's feeling really depressed or is afraid he has cancer, that's easier than telling a friend or family member who will overly worry. If Jane needs to rant about a friend, family member, or significant other, she might not have someone in her real life she can vent to who doesn't know that person. If Jim has a situation that he doesn't think anyone he knows can advise him on because they're too close to the situation, it might be easier to seek out strangers whose advice won't be colored by their feelings for Jim or the issue at hand, or their own baggage. If Sue needs to get something out or ask about something but it would be embarrassing to admit to someone she knows, there are strangers on the sorta-anonymous internet.
I am MUCH more outspoken on here than in person, but I try to be very honest without being downright nasty anywhere.
I also share much more online than I do with anyone else with the exception (usually) of my husband. In my case, I think I do this out of self-protection and it is my nature to not be confrontational in person.
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