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If you like reading classics, try Seneca (20 A.D. or so). Easy reading moral advice, still true today. A Stoic.
So much of their thought on sorrow influenced western culture and even self help books.
If you like reading classics, try Seneca (20 A.D. or so). Easy reading moral advice, still true today. A Stoic.
So much of their thought on sorrow influenced western culture and even self help books.
What's a negative rep point? All I see is the option to rate the post positively.
She means leaving a nasty or rude comment using the rep feature on the upper right-hand part of the box. It is against the TOS. You report it by sending a DM to the assigned mod for the forum (for example, PJSaturn is the assigned mod for this forum according to the list), or if the forum is team moderated or you know of another mod, send them the DM.
Thanks for commiserating! Like I said, I know I don't have much to complain about in comparison to people who are standing in food bank lines or people who have children with cancer or people who have MS or any number of things. It's the forgiving myself part I am having such a hard time with.
I have been trying meditation, but only 6 minutes a day so far. I know myself enough to know that if I try to make it 20 minutes I will keep saying "well, I'll skip today because it's just too busy". But with 6 minutes (I don't know why I chose that random number) I've been able to at least be consistent. I've also been starting my day with a verbal gratitude list I say to myself in the shower.
I think a lot of it is fear and uncertainty about what my future holds, while I could have had peace of mind had I made a different decision. I'm an anxious person anyway who truthfully has worried much of my life away. The realization that the time to pay off debt and save is so very limited now at my age makes me worry a lot about what is to come. It always seemed I had plenty of time. I know that's stupid. I might get hit by a bus tomorrow, lol, and would have worried for nothing. Of course a lot of it comes late at night when I try to sleep. I've had to fall asleep in front of TV in order to sleep. If I try to turn the TV off and go to bed, that's when my mind starts racing and all these thoughts come up, and of course lots of self-flagellation.
Hello ocjngirl, I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I think the main thing that will help is 'action' and a plan.
When you decide on what to do then you can take comfort that these positive steps have only been taken because of what happened in the past - so it's actually good that you made those past decisions!
For instance decide to do some of the following - examples;
1) increase 401K contributions going forward by 4% (or a percentage you can manage without stress).
2) become a (not extreme) minamilist and eschew materalistic things - this can result in some items for sale, and allow the possibility of downsizing and reducing your mortgage, and thus your stress. Downsizing could be key. Enjoy having less possessions.
3) Possibility of moving to a lower cost area (if not too far from family/friends).
4) Reduce bills wherever possible - see mr money mustache website, read his early articles, to see how to live & retire on less. There are many who live this lifestyle (minimalist financial lifestyle). See other minimalist blogs and forums to connect with others.
5) Try to stay healthy, excersizing/eating better (me too!).
6) Get your partner on the same page. Tell him for your mental health some changes need to be made.
7) Then know that you've made positive changes that outweigh your prior decisions so you are now at an advantage!
What's a negative rep point? All I see is the option to rate the post positively.
A person can leave a negative comment in the drop down window in the upper right hand corner in the middle between the post# and the exclamation point. Those are against the TOS. Report to the appropriate moderator via a DM.
Hello ocjngirl, I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I think the main thing that will help is 'action' and a plan.
When you decide on what to do then you can take comfort that these positive steps have only been taken because of what happened in the past - so it's actually good that you made those past decisions!
For instance decide to do some of the following - examples;
1) increase 401K contributions going forward by 4% (or a percentage you can manage without stress).
2) become a (not extreme) minamilist and eschew materalistic things - this can result in some items for sale, and allow the possibility of downsizing and reducing your mortgage, and thus your stress. Downsizing could be key. Enjoy having less possessions.
3) Possibility of moving to a lower cost area (if not too far from family/friends).
4) Reduce bills wherever possible - see mr money mustache website, read his early articles, to see how to live & retire on less. There are many who live this lifestyle (minimalist financial lifestyle). See other minimalist blogs and forums to connect with others.
5) Try to stay healthy, excersizing/eating better (me too!).
6) Get your partner on the same page. Tell him for your mental health some changes need to be made.
7) Then know that you've made positive changes that outweigh your prior decisions so you are now at an advantage!
We are doing all of that. We can possibly trim more but the biggest bills like mortgage, alimony, health insurance, debt payoff, are not going anywhere. I save as much as I can but then I go a step back when I have a $425 out of pocket for an orthotic that I need just to continue to be able to work. Health care costs are a big concern as I get older with my spine history and the advancement of my osteoarthritis. I do my PT exercises and ride my exercise bike, I eat healthy. I need to lose 20 pounds but this has proven to be much harder than it was 20 years ago even when I follow the same diet I lost weight on back then.
Moving isn’t an option because we are seriously upside down in our home.i don’t have a 401k at work. I have an IRA but I’m trying to build our emergency reserve first. We have about four months but I’d feel more comfy with 8.
My biggest concern is that I am old to be doing my job and I don’t know how much longer I can do it. If I’m lucky maybe a few years still. But I don’t know what to do after that. I can’t imagine what new field I can enter as a 63 or 64 year old and get hired. I’ll end up working some McJob and it won’t be enough to pay our bills). I’m exhausted and feel ancient and unwanted in the work world. Even now the other day, I was pushing a rollator (4 wheel walker with seat) with my equipment on it to a patient’s room...and a nurse I passed asked me if I was a patient! It brought home how old I now look and now am in this profession. How long will companies even want me to do it? This has been really depressing me lately. I applied to some non-clinical jobs, but I never hear back, and they aren’t going to want to train a 60 year old for theses jobs either, especially front-facing jobs. . And why would they when they have a plethora of younger, cheaper, more energetic candidates who won’t be a risk of going out on workers comp or driving up the health insurance premiums?
I’ve never felt old in my life until this year. But suddenly it feels too late. That’s why I am so down about it now.
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