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I do this specifically to one person constantly. It’s an out. I learned it because no matter what I said it was wrong. And started a fight.
I tried the when you asked me for my opinion and I give it to you, you have to respect it talk, I tried you weren’t going to listen to anything I say so why bother talk, I tried a few other tactics, and I discovered that “I don’t know” worked. The one time she complained about it I said you need to understand I need to think about things sometimes.
That worked too. So, I don’t mean to throw this on you, because you may have a very different issue here but that’s exactly why I did it. It was a version of “grey rock”.
I know someone who answers most questions with ¨I don´t know¨ and it seems to me to be some kind of cop-out for just not engaging in conversation. Usually if people don´t know, they will throw out some ideas or speculations just to keep the conversation going.
This appears to me to be a ¨not interested¨ shut-down of sorts. Often I will then say ¨I KNOW you don´t KNOW for sure, but do you have any ideas?¨
I really like this person, but it unless they initiate a topic, it´s an ¨I don´t know´ situation. On their own topics, they will go on and on and on, happily.
I am just discussing general topics, nothing hot-button. Movies, space travel, farming, neighbors, animals, weather, whatever.
What do you think?
They may be saying "I dunno" to see what you do know. I do this all the time in class. (ACL technique.) When I find out what they know, then I can teach up or down from that point. (I teach adults how to ride motorcycles.) This helps them get the very most out of the class, as we don't have the convenience of time.
I know someone who answers most questions with ¨I don´t know¨ and it seems to me to be some kind of cop-out for just not engaging in conversation. Usually if people don´t know, they will throw out some ideas or speculations just to keep the conversation going.
This appears to me to be a ¨not interested¨ shut-down of sorts. Often I will then say ¨I KNOW you don´t KNOW for sure, but do you have any ideas?¨
I really like this person, but it unless they initiate a topic, it´s an ¨I don´t know´ situation. On their own topics, they will go on and on and on, happily.
I am just discussing general topics, nothing hot-button. Movies, space travel, farming, neighbors, animals, weather, whatever.
What do you think?
Perhaps it's exactly what you think ^^^
Some people just don't want to be bothered or voice their opinion. Maybe this person is afraid that you won't like their answers? Maybe they really don't know.
I probably would ask if the person is not interested in that topic. That could start more meaningful discussion.
Another version is "I never thought about it". And then they don't bother to do so and that is the end of the topic.
When this happens often enough you realize the person just doesn't want to answer your questions or join in your initiated conversation but wants to determine and control conversation topics themselves.
Why do they do this? Different reasons - controlling personalities, intellectual laziness, passive aggressive, narcissism, a whole host of possible reasons to invalidate another human being trying to connect with them.
I actually do this, but it's usually in one of two situations:
1) I am busy and don't want to be bothered. For example, I am at work, on a deadline, and a coworker comes in and asks me non-important questions like, "what did you think of the game last night." The words, "I don't know," are an automatic response that I don't even think about while my mind stays focused on what I am doing.
2) When someone asks me a silly question and I want to be snarky about it. Like the time someone asked me, "Where did you get the coffee mug that says Boston on it?" Or when I am out walking my dog and someone asks me, "Are you walking your dog?"
I know someone who answers most questions with ¨I don´t know¨ and it seems to me to be some kind of cop-out for just not engaging in conversation. Usually if people don´t know, they will throw out some ideas or speculations just to keep the conversation going.
This appears to me to be a ¨not interested¨ shut-down of sorts. Often I will then say ¨I KNOW you don´t KNOW for sure, but do you have any ideas?¨
I really like this person, but it unless they initiate a topic, it´s an ¨I don´t know´ situation. On their own topics, they will go on and on and on, happily.
I am just discussing general topics, nothing hot-button. Movies, space travel, farming, neighbors, animals, weather, whatever.
I know someone who answers most questions with ¨I don´t know¨ and it seems to me to be some kind of cop-out for just not engaging in conversation. Usually if people don´t know, they will throw out some ideas or speculations just to keep the conversation going.
This appears to me to be a ¨not interested¨ shut-down of sorts. Often I will then say ¨I KNOW you don´t KNOW for sure, but do you have any ideas?¨
I really like this person, but it unless they initiate a topic, it´s an ¨I don´t know´ situation. On their own topics, they will go on and on and on, happily.
I am just discussing general topics, nothing hot-button. Movies, space travel, farming, neighbors, animals, weather, whatever.
What do you think?
What do I think: one, they may not be too bright OR too informed. One often follows the other. Yet they prattle on about their own topics....hmm.
Two, could be a passive aggressive situation. They don't want to entertain your thoughts and ideas, only their own. Selfish, perhaps, and as you say "not interested." That's not too clever either.
Three, sounds a bit Autism Spectrum Disorder, in my layman's opinion. Takes one to know one, those of us who should not be TOO nerdy and detailed about something esoteric...puts others to sleep.
What do I think: one, they may not be too bright OR too informed. One often follows the other. Yet they prattle on about their own topics....hmm.
Two, could be a passive aggressive situation. They don't want to entertain your thoughts and ideas, only their own. Selfish, perhaps, and as you say "not interested." That's not too clever either.
Three, sounds a bit Autism Spectrum Disorder, in my layman's opinion. Takes one to know one, those of us who should not be TOO nerdy and detailed about something esoteric...puts others to sleep.
Sigh. I think you´re right. Someone else said ¨lazy intellect ¨ which is what you´re saying too.
I make the effort to engage in their conversational topics, and wish I´d be afforded the same courtesy.
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Solly says — Be nice!
