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This is not meant to generalize or stereotype either gender, but more to explore the idea that either gender has a certain psychology which influences who they find attractive.
Supposedly women are attracted to men who exhibit success, ambition, confidence. Because in the psychology of women, they want a man who can provide and protect her, in the dangerous jungle of lions and tigers, which is basically the world we live in whether it's the jungle of Brazil or New York City.
Cave women of 5000 BCE needed a strong protector in order to successfully raise and provide and protect her and her children, so it was in her best interest to find the strongest and best provider she could, as she was unlikely to be able to survive on her own, and remnants of this DNA/psychological makeup still exists in the modern woman.
Supposedly men are attracted to women who exhibit physical attractiveness, submission (deferring to his decisions), nurturing, loyalty, honesty, and outward signs of high fertility (breasts, curves, youthfulness), and is also unlikely to be unfaithful to him, as being a cuckhold and wasting all his time and investment is probably one of the worst fates possible for many men. Equivalent to a woman being impregnated by a man and then abandoned to raise and provide for herself and a baby alone in the dangerous jungle.
In order to achieve this, the psychology of men developed to crave power, succeeding in competition, the feeling of winning a trophy as a reward for all his hard work, and a partner who is fully devoted to him and able to provide him with pleasure and comfort, as well as an assortment of casual partners for sexual variety, because the competition and the seeking of new conquests is never over. The drive to accumulate more and better is always there.
So to sum up:
Female psychology: wants strong ambitious man to provide and protect
Male psychology: craves power, necessary competitive drive to attract women, wants most attractive, honest, loyal woman to provide pleasure and comfort to him and only him, as well as sexual variety with no strings attached
Do you think these differing psychologies of the genders, and how it influences who they find attractive in dating and relationships, has some merit to it, or are these myths?
Has some of this been bred out of us, as it's no longer 5000 BCE and civilization has gone through a range of changes during the past few millennia.
Personally I'm usually attracted to somewhat effeminate men, men with a sensitive side, like artists and creative types. Yet the guys I've been involved with do tend to be competitive, possessive, jealous, territorial, so there is definitely that cave man DNA/psychology showing up there. I am guessing it's not coincidence that I always date guys with those traits. It probably shows investment, so my cave woman DNA senses he will stick around to provide and protect me and our children.
Do you relate to any of these ideas on the psychology of each gender and how it affects who you are attracted to, or are you an exception, and if so, in what ways?
It's also very difficult to separate out what a person's natural inclinations might be versus what they've been conditioned to seek by societal or familial expectations.
I think a confident person (of either sex) that knows when to be strong and when to soft is going to be more appealing. There's a lot to be said for competence, too.
Your stereotypes reflect the values of certain male-dominated societies. They're culturally determined. Not all human societies require submission from women, or even faithfulness. In some societies, it's still expected, or was until fairly recently, that women will seek out the strongest males in the tribe to have children with, a different male per each pregnancy, in order to maintain a strong tribe, while her primary partner stays with her for life, helping her raise all her kids.
There are societies out there, some here in the good old US of A, that value women with strength of character, leadership capacity, and competence in a variety of traditional skills, over looks.
The OP post sounds like a condensed version of a number of bro-blogs out there.
I think this is an oversimplification of male/female roles. In some ancient societies, women were considered equal to men. In others, they were not. I think that initially, the genders were considered equal. Men were out hunting while women were gathering and taking care of the home. At that point, men could be gone a while and women and children were left to their own devices.
At any rate, I don’t need a man to protect me and find men with this sort of attitude to be very unappealing. There is something to be said for people who can use their wits to protect themselves.
I've also read there was a time in history that Matriarchy was the order of the day, when humans didn't even know yet that men had a role in procreation. So women were highly valued for their ability to create new people. Men were almost expendable, meat shields.
We can say there is some truth to that today as well. It's men who are sent off to war to fight and die.
But I would argue as matriarchy shifted to patriarchy, the expected role of women became that of a deferential one, to men. Women couldn't vote, had no or few rights unless she took a husband, and even then needed her husband's permission to do most things. Though even this is a pretty modern development (like since the 17 or 1800s?)
Women of ancient Greece and Rome for example though were independent and "feminism" by our modern definition was the standard way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
I think this is an oversimplification of male/female roles. In some ancient societies, women were considered equal to men. In others, they were not. I think that initially, the genders were considered equal. Men were out hunting while women were gathering and taking care of the home. At that point, men could be gone a while and women and children were left to their own devices.
At any rate, I don’t need a man to protect me and find men with this sort of attitude to be very unappealing. There is something to be said for people who can use their wits to protect themselves.
Kind of makes me wonder, for people who like it, is it a *kink*? Or just a preference?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Your stereotypes reflect the values of certain male-dominated societies. They're culturally determined. Not all human societies require submission from women, or even faithfulness. In some societies, it's still expected, or was until fairly recently, that women will seek out the strongest males in the tribe to have children with, a different male per each pregnancy, in order to maintain a strong tribe, while her primary partner stays with her for life, helping her raise all her kids.
There are societies out there, some here in the good old US of A, that value women with strength of character, leadership capacity, and competence in a variety of traditional skills, over looks.
The OP post sounds like a condensed version of a number of bro-blogs out there.
This is very interesting stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
It's also very difficult to separate out what a person's natural inclinations might be versus what they've been conditioned to seek by societal or familial expectations.
This is quite true. Socialization is powerful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist
I think a confident person (of either sex) that knows when to be strong and when to soft is going to be more appealing. There's a lot to be said for competence, too.
I'd say everybody wants a competent partner, but each person might have a different idea of what areas of competence are important to them. Competent in the kitchen vs. competent in changing a tire? Nobody is competent in everything, everyone specializes.
But I agree, being able to adjust and adapt (knowing when to be soft and when not to be), to be able to read a situation/person and react accordingly, is a great skill in either gender.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Eh, some do, some don't
There are always exceptions.
Last edited by moongirl00; 03-28-2021 at 09:35 AM..
This is not meant to generalize or stereotype either gender, but more to explore the idea that either gender has a certain psychology which influences who they find attractive.
Second half of sentence contradicts first half of sentence. Either there are no generalities or stereotypes, or "either gender has a certain psychology."
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