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When I created this question, I was thinking about my time in corporate America - from 1980 to 1995.
In 1980, the corporate dress code for women was just being developed - at first it was very, very masculine (and super ugly) brown suits (skirts and blazer) - it later progressed, but that masculine atmosphere did not during the time I was exposed to it.
It used to pain me (though I had no concept of what was happening - I only notice it in retrospect, as I think about this subject) - that business was so masculine in the ways I don't enjoy - like bland, conformist, monotonous, lack of color, lack of beauty, lack of nature, lack of innovation - it felt military to me (I had been exposed to military during my first marriage).
It was super deadening to my soul from the lack of "The Feminine" that was allowed in office environments. I was a sales rep so called on many offices and they were all very similar - attractive "girls" were hired to do sales to call on men.
In my last corporate job, I was becoming more consciously aware of what was happening in terms of the cultural standpoint and I began decorating my cubicle in a very "girly" way - I brought in a mirror, which absolutely freaked out a cubicle mate - she demanded to know what it was for! I brought in flowers and pictures of flowers, and wove lots of color into my previously ugly, beige cubicle - I was laid off of that job (after they recruited me and I brought them all of my contacts and they had no use for me after that). I really think bringing The Feminine into my cubicle was my F-U to them and they knew it.
This incident was a turning point in my life. I went to graduate school and explored Jungian psychology, Transpersonal Psychology, etc. - studied gods and goddesses and world religions - it was very enlightening and I think it saved my life.
I identify as "very feminine," but I don't think I look particularly extra-feminine - I just really enjoy BEAUTY and COLOR. I love fine fabrics, cute clothes and accessories, jewelry, flowers, art, etc.
I hate action movies, dark movies, movies that only feature men, etc. I like stories about people and am very curious about people (men and women).
I dress in bright colors, wear nail polish, eye make-up, etc.
For me, femininity is about life and love, beauty, and nurturance. Of course men can embody the creative Feminine and chefs, and other creators do that every day while still maintaining their masculinity.
It's the "by-the-book, bland, beige, uncreative, dead-in-spirt masculine that I can't bear to immerse myself in.
I just remembered one job where my refuge was to buy two picture books on flowers which I would read at my desk at lunch. I was that desperate for color and beauty in my bland, boring, ugly environment.
I do enjoy the stereotypical masculine traits like knowing how to fix things, being physically able to fix things when strength or stamina is required, chopping wood, and doing all of the other things I don't want to do.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness
For me, femininity is about life and love, beauty, and nurturance.
I just remembered one job where my refuge was to buy two picture books on flowers which I would read at my desk at lunch. I was that desperate for color and beauty in my bland, boring, ugly environment.
Tho why is it important to you to express your femininity at work? IMO it has nothing to do with it. I express & totally embrace it at home with my husband or when out with him. I’ve worked at a lot of hospitals & when everybody is in scrubs, we look the same as the men & it’s super bland.
Tho why is it important to you to express your femininity at work? IMO it has nothing to do with it. I express & totally embrace it at home with my husband or when out with him. I’ve worked at a lot of hospitals & when everybody is in scrubs, we look the same as the men & it’s super bland.
Interesting perspective. This must be why buildings and environments look so bland and uninspiring today.
I think the reason has to do with me being an "artistic" type - I literally feel sickened being in ugly environments (and I have spent years in many such environments).
I worked at a hospital in the billing/data processing environments when I was young. The absolute dismalness of the environment offended me for the patient's sakes . . . I could (and still can) picture healing in beautiful, colorful environments, full of flowers, and color. They could slap some paint on the walls. There's no reason everything has to look bland, uninspiring, and ugly. It's one of my pet peeves.
I had a fantasy of knocking on people's doors, suggesting colors they could paint their houses! I really have a flair for color and I don't know why everyone else is okay with ugliness anywhere.
I loved LadyBird Johnson's beautification projects - just for the mere fact that it was accepted, way-back-when that beauty was something desirable that would make everyone's lives richer. To me, beauty is like water: Crucial for life.
Interesting perspective. This must be why buildings and environments look so bland and uninspiring today.
I think the reason has to do with me being an "artistic" type - I literally feel sickened being in ugly environments (and I have spent years in many such environments).
I worked at a hospital in the billing/data processing environments when I was young. The absolute dismalness of the environment offended me for the patient's sakes . . . I could (and still can) picture healing in beautiful, colorful environments, full of flowers, and color. They could slap some paint on the walls. There's no reason everything has to look bland, uninspiring, and ugly. It's one of my pet peeves.
I had a fantasy of knocking on people's doors, suggesting colors they could paint their houses! I really have a flair for color and I don't know why everyone else is okay with ugliness anywhere.
I loved LadyBird Johnson's beautification projects - just for the mere fact that it was accepted, way-back-when that beauty was something desirable that would make everyone's lives richer. To me, beauty is like water: Crucial for life.
I get what you are saying. My office is mostly women, and it is decorated with potted plants and flowers on every windowsill, Paint Night projects and snapshots all over the common walls, little trinkets lining the tops of cubicles; all of those homey touches. My husband’s office is all men; lol, it is very stark and utilitarian, without so much as a plastic fern stuck in a corner. Comparing the two, it does seem like a feminine quality to want to beauty one’s surroundings.
I get what you are saying. My office is mostly women, and it is decorated with potted plants and flowers on every windowsill, Paint Night projects and snapshots all over the common walls, little trinkets lining the tops of cubicles; all of those homey touches. My husband’s office is all men; lol, it is very stark and utilitarian, without so much as a plastic fern stuck in a corner. Comparing the two, it does seem like a feminine quality to want to beauty one’s surroundings.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness
I worked at a hospital in the billing/data processing environments when I was young. The absolute dismalness of the environment offended me for the patient's sakes . . . I could (and still can) picture healing in beautiful, colorful environments, full of flowers, and color. They could slap some paint on the walls. There's no reason everything has to look bland, uninspiring, and ugly. It's one of my pet peeves.
Well...you can’t do that in a cath lab or OR, it’s all white & cold temperatures. Ppl have their minds on other things at work IMO. I love my femininity BUT I can’t see it having anything to do with decorating the hospital
Tho I love to decorate at home...I like neutral colors with a splash of color & clean lines in furniture. IMO good taste & style is not feminine or masculine...but I do love flowers in planters & vases outside AND a BIG welcoming wreath on our front door. We don’t have flowers inside...but a fresh bouquet of cut flowers on our table or sideboard sometimes. I’ve added my feminine touch if you want to call it that.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯...but it’s my husband who buys the flowers for me. I love them & they are a fresh touch, but I wouldn’t buy cut flowers for myself.
Well...you can’t do that in a cath lab or OR, it’s all white & cold temperatures. Ppl have their minds on other things at work IMO. I love my femininity BUT I can’t see it having anything to do with decorating the hospital
Tho I love to decorate at home...I like neutral colors with a splash of color & clean lines in furniture. IMO good taste & style is not feminine or masculine...but I do love flowers in planters & vases outside AND a BIG welcoming wreath on our front door. We don’t have flowers inside...but a fresh bouquet of cut flowers on our table or sideboard sometimes. I’ve added my feminine touch if you want to call it that.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯...but it’s my husband who buys the flowers for me. I love them & they are a fresh touch, but I wouldn’t buy cut flowers for myself.
I am visualizing hospitals as true healing places - so it would be in the patient areas where beauty would be important - also, spa music playing through the intercom - beautiful rooms painted and wall-papered, art, flowers, essential oils diffusing . . .
There's no reason everything has to look bland, uninspiring, and ugly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaPosh
We don’t have flowers inside...but a fresh bouquet of cut flowers on our table or sideboard sometimes. I’ve added my feminine touch if you want to call it that.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯...but it’s my husband who buys the flowers for me.
As a 'masculine' man, I appreciate beauty and inspiration as well. ;-)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness
I am visualizing hospitals as true healing places - so it would be in the patient areas where beauty would be important - also, spa music playing through the intercom - beautiful rooms painted and wall-papered, art, flowers, essential oils diffusing . . .
Never had to be a patient in a hospital, but I wouldn't list 'beauty' as being much of a priority; but rather, comfort (and 'mileage may vary', regardless of one's masculinity/femininity).
As a 'masculine' man, I appreciate beauty and inspiration as well. ;-)
Never had to be a patient in a hospital, but I wouldn't list 'beauty' as being much of a priority; but rather, comfort (and 'mileage may vary', regardless of one's masculinity/femininity).
See, back in the "old world" ( in Europe that is,) men actually were the ORIGINAL creators of beauty.
And not of the "flowers and decorations" kind, but of a much deeper, sophisticated and immortal kind.
But interestingly enough, in Anglo world ( and in America in particular,) this side of spectrum is basically absent.
No wonder this particular movie did poorly in America ( although with an American actor in the leading role.)
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or when out with him. I’ve worked at a lot of hospitals & when everybody is in scrubs, we look the same as the men & it’s super bland.
