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And yes, looking back, I see very clearly that this was the one sign. It was subtle but it was there. And then it wasn’t subtle when it got turned on me.
I've noticed when I have been around the more quiet type of person, the non-stop talkers are there rambling on & on. Usually the ramblers are unaware of the audience they are talking to, not with. I have heard the quiet person say, Oh, I'm so glad that person stopped talking I was trying to tune him out.
I think there's many reasons a person talks too much, nerves, ADD, lacks focus and concentration, and will just monopolize the conversation, will expect full attention from others but will drift off in to space when others are talking. Nonstop talkers and people with monologues are exhausting to be around.
Self awareness is important as to how much a person is talking, it's important to pay attention to the cues from the audience are they trying to say something, trying to change the subject, etc.
Conversations are best when they are shared and everyone gets to speak and be heard so everyone can share their thoughts and experiences.
Last edited by bellamax2; 05-14-2021 at 01:05 PM..
My husband asked why I came home so late from work. I said I asked KK a question and he understood.
I love her, we've been friends for years and she has been an employee for the last 2 years. But she can't stop talking once she starts. She goes off on tangents. She doesn't recognize visual cues to wrap it up; I have put on my coat or walked to the restroom and she keeps going, sometimes louder. A reply that should take 1-2 sentences is frequently 15 minutes.
I think people like KK are just reliving and thinking so much about the story they are telling that they aren't paying enough attention to the responses of others in the room. A sentence or two is good. If the other person asks questions, it becomes a conversation and not a speech.
Yesterday morning, I was typing up my own experience with a woman like this and decided against posting it because we don't talk anymore. Well, hours later she texted me after 5 years of silence!
Yesterday morning, I was typing up my own experience with a woman like this and decided against posting it because we don't talk anymore. Well, hours later she texted me after 5 years of silence!
That’s funny. I’ve noticed that when I start thinking about someone, they call or reappear in my life. Does she still talk a lot?
This topic got me thinking about the nonstop talkers, are they good listeners?
I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but I think it relates to the nonstop talkers, monologue talkers, lack of awareness.
I remember years ago having a conversation with this guy, during the conversation I said, I'll tell you about this blind date I went on. He replied, Oh no, let me tell you first about a blind date I went on, I'm sure it will be worse. What I noticed was how he was kinda anxious about having tell his experience first.
This is one of the things about communicating I cannot stand, someone saying they want to share an experience and mention what it's about and that triggers the other person's memory about a similar experience. The mature and polite thing to do is let the person that brought up the topic speak first.
Anyway, as he goes on & on about this blind date, I thought to myself, he's not going to say ok now tell your story. I did feel a bit slighted by his self-centerness but listened and now his story is finished. I replied, that does sound like an awful date. Just as I thought he didn't say ok now tell your story. I thought what a sch-muck and said good bye.
This topic got me thinking about the nonstop talkers, are they good listeners?
I'm not sure if this is the correct place to post this, but I think it relates to the nonstop talkers, monologue talkers, lack of awareness.
I remember years ago having a conversation with this guy, during the conversation I said, I'll tell you about this blind date I went on. He replied, Oh no, let me tell you first about a blind date I went on, I'm sure it will be worse. What I noticed was how he was kinda anxious about having tell his experience first.
This is one of the things about communicating I cannot stand, someone saying they want to share an experience and mention what it's about and that triggers the other person's memory about a similar experience. The mature and polite thing to do is let the person that brought up the topic speak first.
Anyway, as he goes on & on about this blind date, I thought to myself, he's not going to say ok now tell your story. I did feel a bit slighted by his self-centerness but listened and now his story is finished. I replied, that does sound like an awful date. Just as I thought he didn't say ok now tell your story. I thought what a sch-muck and said good bye.
Yup. My overtalker friend asked the other day what I did that day. Except she didn't really want to know what I did, she wanted to tell me what she did, which she then proceeded to do before I could answer. So I let her talk, and when she was finished, I started to say, "Oh well, I didn't do too much today, just ran some errands and--"
She is smiling and inclining her head to the center of the table and interrupts me to say, "Can you smell that candle? It's a new one. Mango. I just picked it up the other day..."
So now for my own entertainment, I do the same to her.
Yup. My overtalker friend asked the other day what I did that day. Except she didn't really want to know what I did, she wanted to tell me what she did, which she then proceeded to do before I could answer. So I let her talk, and when she was finished, I started to say, "Oh well, I didn't do too much today, just ran some errands and--"
She is smiling and inclining her head to the center of the table and interrupts me to say, "Can you smell that candle? It's a new one. Mango. I just picked it up the other day..."
So now for my own entertainment, I do the same to her.
It’s probably never entered her mind that you’re doing the same thing back to her.
People don't want to be around nonstop talkers because they're boring and draining. So it's something that needs to be fixed or you'll lose friends. I know a woman who's a nonstop talker, lives alone, and is very lonely and needy. She finally found a friend to hang out with during the pandemic but within no time flat, the lady got tired of her constant chatter and stopped returning her phone calls. Very sad but it's no surprise, really.
I know a woman who's a nonstop talker, lives alone, and is very lonely and needy. She finally found a friend to hang out with during the pandemic but within no time flat, the lady got tired of her constant chatter and stopped returning her phone calls. Very sad but it's no surprise, really.
There is a research study that found that loneliness increases self-centeredness, which then can lead to further loneliness (as people are put off by self-centered behavior).
Quote:
Research conducted over more than a decade indicates that loneliness increases self-centeredness and, to a lesser extent, self-centeredness also increases loneliness.
The findings by researchers at the University of Chicago show such effects create a positive feedback loop between the two traits: As increased loneliness heightens self-centeredness, the latter then contributes further to enhanced loneliness.
"If you get more self-centered, you run the risk of staying locked in to feeling socially isolated," said John Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience..
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