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Of course I learned from my mistakes, I'm sure everyone has whether they remember it or not. In high school physics class I picked up a soldering iron by the hot shaft and wondered why puffs of smoke were coming out of my hand. I never did that again. On one of my first jobs I gave my boss an ultimatum to raise my salary or I'd have to quit in a month. When he didn't raise my salary and I told him it was my last day, he said "okey doke", and I had to quit. I never did that again.
I once dated two girls in one weekend. I couldn't enjoy either date thinking of the other one. I never did that again. For about 6 months I was addicted to day trading. When I closed my account and the rep asked me why, I said "because I want my life back". Never did that again. A few years ago my urine was blocked and I kept drinking water for hours to try to pee. I had to go to the ER in agony to get catheterized. I'll never do that again.
There are many more examples I could relate, some consequential, some trivial. Just a week ago I played the car radio with the engine off for about an hour while I waited for my wife outside the doctor's office. The battery died and I had to call road service to jump start the car. I'll never do that again.
And what, if anything, did you learn? I can't think of one thing I "learned"
In 1992 I moved in with my boyfriend, even though I had my own condo. We talked about getting married but first we wanted to live in a better area and have a shorter commute. In 1995 we bought a house together and moved in. So far, so good.
Then he backed out and said he didn't want to be married. I was stuck. I was paying the mortgage on the condo and 1/2 the mortgage on the house. Big mistake.
I learned something: Always have the means to extricate yourself from the situation you got yourself into.
For me the most important part of learning from my mistakes is ownership - personal responsibility. Until I understood that I needed to clearly see my part in what went wrong and change that I didn't make much progress.
Like someone else here says - you are the common denominator in all your problems. Ouch! But. . .
Bingo.
Similarly, something I read that stuck with me is "The battle is always the self with the Self." In other words your lower and your higher self, not necessarily something external. So, if you have a problem with someone, the first thought is supposed to be inward, asking yourself why exactly this is affecting you the way it is.
Note that I myself do not yet have this way of thinking perfected.
But it does help in relationships with friends, family, anyone really, and I can see how in the past reacting a certain way may have been inappropriate.
I've definitely learned from my mistakes. In my case, it was mostly behavioral issues. As an example -- growing up, and even in early adulthood, I felt like if I whined enough people would take pity on me. Yeah, right. I finally learned that people hate this and to just stop doing it. I learned to pick my battles and to decide what is worth making a big deal about and when it's better to just accept and/or move on from a situation.
Interestingly, I was thinking about making a thread dealing with the concept of mistakes, but a different perspective on the subject.
Of course I learned from my mistakes, I'm sure everyone has whether they remember it or not. In high school physics class I picked up a soldering iron by the hot shaft and wondered why puffs of smoke were coming out of my hand. I never did that again. On one of my first jobs I gave my boss an ultimatum to raise my salary or I'd have to quit in a month. When he didn't raise my salary and I told him it was my last day, he said "okey doke", and I had to quit. I never did that again.
I once dated two girls in one weekend. I couldn't enjoy either date thinking of the other one. I never did that again. For about 6 months I was addicted to day trading. When I closed my account and the rep asked me why, I said "because I want my life back". Never did that again. A few years ago my urine was blocked and I kept drinking water for hours to try to pee. I had to go to the ER in agony to get catheterized. I'll never do that again.
There are many more examples I could relate, some consequential, some trivial. Just a week ago I played the car radio with the engine off for about an hour while I waited for my wife outside the doctor's office. The battery died and I had to call road service to jump start the car. I'll never do that again.
If you need another catheter, it probably won't be up to you, lol! I had one in November for a few days and it was a bear to get in, but much worse for men, I'm sure. Weigh that against wearing a diaper for the duration!
I know what you mean about small mistakes like you mentioned. Of course we learn from those. I don't go barefoot on the tile floor anymore since I slipped on some water a few months ago.
I was talking about life-changer "mistakes".
For example, I don't regret my former marriages because they were "right" for me AT THE TIME. And we had a great time until we didn't years later. My life is so much broader and fuller because of them. I'd do it over with the same info I had back then.
If you need another catheter, it probably won't be up to you, lol! I had one in November for a few days and it was a bear to get in, but much worse for men, I'm sure. Weigh that against wearing a diaper for the duration!
I know what you mean about small mistakes like you mentioned. Of course we learn from those. I don't go barefoot on the tile floor anymore since I slipped on some water a few months ago.
I was talking about life-changer "mistakes".
For example, I don't regret my former marriages because they were "right" for me AT THE TIME. And we had a great time until we didn't years later. My life is so much broader and fuller because of them. I'd do it over with the same info I had back then.
I guess I didn't make any life changing mistakes. I guess that would be like going to prison for a crime, or losing all my money in a ponzi scheme, or forgetting to pay my house insurance just before it burned down, or quitting a job with no backup and becoming homeless, or abandoning my wife and children. I guess most people don't make those kind of major mistakes.
I’ve made some mistakes. And yeah, I learned from making them. I feel like was socially inept for much of my younger life. I made many mistakes. But I did try to learn from them.
I guess I didn't make any life changing mistakes. I guess that would be like going to prison for a crime, or losing all my money in a ponzi scheme, or forgetting to pay my house insurance just before it burned down, or quitting a job with no backup and becoming homeless, or abandoning my wife and children. I guess most people don't make those kind of major mistakes.
^My late stepfather pulled this one. The officiant at his funeral brought it up with the ex-wife and the kids sitting right there in the front row. I thought I had a rough life but theirs must have been worse.
I also knew someone who quit a job and to spite his wife -- who quite reasonably asked how they would live without his salary -- he became a homeless person, eating food retrieved from dumpsters. If his young child wanted to see his father, the wife had to bring the child downtown where the guy was living on the street.
Yes I have learned from my life choices. I wouldn't call them mistakes. But when I look back and review and see where I am now, I can see what I've learned from each choice, whether major or minor, and how I moved forward with the lesson. I am still making choices and still learning.
It's all very very hard work, but worth it, I think. This is not to say I don't berate myself for things, minor, immediate things, but not major life choices. I say terrible things to myself when I drop something or break something or forget to do something three days in a row, even with a NOTE for crying out loud. I wouldn't speak to another human in the way I speak to myself. But it's all petty stuff.
The big stuff, in a way, I've learned how to accept what I've done, if I can't fix it, or make the best of it, or fix it. That all sounds like bragging but I don't mean it to. Like I said it's hard work to keep myself feeling that way.
And I am scared, every single day of my life, still, that I will one day make some catastrophic mistake.
Hasn't happened yet though so I don't know why I am still scared. I do have strong protection so I can't take all the credit.
I’ve made some mistakes. And yeah, I learned from making them. I feel like was socially inept for much of my younger life. I made many mistakes. But I did try to learn from them.
What did you learn? What did you take away from the situations?
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