Learning from mistakes

[Sand&Salt]

Originally Posted by bobspez

I would never have gone into a financial project with a neighbor, or with anyone in fact, not even my own relatives. The lesson was actually don't trust anyone with your money.

There was no money involved, just our labor. But yeah, shoulda had that crystal ball.

[Sand&Salt]

Originally Posted by bobspez

I can't believe I did forget one huge mistake I learned from. I must have blocked it out. I let the police talk their way into my house and question a couple of my relatives who were visiting. As a result one was cuffed and arrested. I paid $11K in legal fees to get their felony reduced to a misdemeanor and a fine and community service. Had I not allowed the police to enter or talk to anyone without a warrant there would have been no arrest, no legal fees. Lesson learned, never trust the police and never let them enter my house without a warrant. A costly and disillusioning lesson for sure. I was naïve and trusting and really stupid.

Oh wow. What a disillusioning lesson indeed. As kids, we were told to trust the police. I bet most of us would make that same mistake. Ugh.

[Sand&Salt]

Originally Posted by charlygal

Regrets have nothing to do with life lessons. You say you never learned anything? Surely , you at least learned to "not do that again" or to "trust your gut." Something.

Actually, yes.

Don't book a rental with VRBO.

Don't use Barclay's credit card ever again

Don't fly with Iberia, Avianca or Priceline/any third-parties

Government agencies will not help you

I could go on....

[Don_Draper]

Originally Posted by catsmom21

Yes I have learned from my life choices. I wouldn't call them mistakes. But when I look back and review and see where I am now, I can see what I've learned from each choice, whether major or minor, and how I moved forward with the lesson. I am still making choices and still learning.

It's all very very hard work, but worth it, I think. This is not to say I don't berate myself for things, minor, immediate things, but not major life choices. I say terrible things to myself when I drop something or break something or forget to do something three days in a row, even with a NOTE for crying out loud. I wouldn't speak to another human in the way I speak to myself. But it's all petty stuff.

The big stuff, in a way, I've learned how to accept what I've done, if I can't fix it, or make the best of it, or fix it. That all sounds like bragging but I don't mean it to. Like I said it's hard work to keep myself feeling that way.

And I am scared, every single day of my life, still, that I will one day make some catastrophic mistake.

Hasn't happened yet though so I don't know why I am still scared. I do have strong protection so I can't take all the credit.

I am also scared of making yet another life altering mistake. First I derailed my own career, then the Great Recession multiplied that times 10. Then divorce, then moved to the middle of nowhere and wasted the last 8 years (from a personal standpoint) due to living in an unfriendly place. Heck yeah I'm scared. About to get remarried and it could be the best thing or a mistake, but as of right now it would really have to be beyond catastrophic to surpass my first marriage's ending. Now that I'm older, I feel like I can't have any more major missteps or I'm done.

I do have a good example/mentor who is 82 years old. I worked with him early in my career. He also lost everything in the Great Recession, but didn't have time to recover and now has to work pretty much forever. He continuously looks for jobs and is passed over because of his age. It pains me to see. Lucky for him he has good health, a good attitude, and is very smart. What I learned is if that can happen to a guy like that, it can happen to any of us.