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I certainly think narcissism is more prevalent. Here's what I personally see & I'm not even out hardly in the evenings when a LOT more people are off from work, tend to act crazier in the night hours, etc.:
- More & more youtubers talking about it/creating entire channels on the topic
- Attention-starvers on social media (FB, instagram, etc.)
- More rude, entitled, inconsiderate people when I'm out & about because it's all about them (the way they drive, how they act out in public, etc.) & here are examples: They're more impatient when driving, stand in the middle of paths & y@k so everyone has to walk around them, when you're walking & they're walking in the opposite direction they don't move over (everyone has to step over for them), acting like no one else is waiting in line for something.
I find the, "happier" part hard to believe since it's always been said that narcs are miserable due to continuously competing, always trying to attain status, can never relax, etc.
Totally agree. And as to your last paragraph, the two I knew and accidentally married, were NOT happy due to the continual dissatisfaction with everything around them that didn't fall down and worship them as they expected.
No one was good enough for them. My first would accept no friends until fighter pilots moved in next door. They alone were "good enough" for him. The second thought everyone should just hand us money because the expedition we were doing was just "so cool".
They were both brilliant, ambitious, driven, fearless and would take on anything. So I was fooled, until I found out what self-centered jerks they were.
This was way before internet, but they'd be on You-Tube trying to bring in free money if they were still alive today!
I've generally been optimistic about our trend towards more self-centeredness. I feel like it's a path that will, ideally, help us to shed away unhealthy social norms that focus on totally useless forms of shame, and spending our energy on wasteful things that society society tells us to do...
And yet, I could imagine the alternative too. Perhaps culture is becomming more hedonistic and unconcerned about any greater good, perhaps as a result of information overload, or other internet-related issues.
Maybe I'm wrong, but in my 50+ years on the planet, I've seen a steady increase in the bolded. And watch out for those covert narcissists with hidden agendas using the greater good as cover for their own evil agendas. There's a whole lot of that going on.
Yep, kinda seems so doesn't it, and interesting the many ways it shows up on the interwebs, with the different 'strategies' some use to 'stand out', often thru some kinda quirky text or writing 'style' (all-caps, in 'colors', sorta 'haughty' attitude, unusually 'terse' replies, whatever). Of course compared to IRL, it's always gonna be harder to seem 'special', in an environment where one can 'be' anything they want, with little or no accountability... except that all 'ya really have to 'work with' is a buncha 'symbols'!
What I notice, is these particular posters have to take every single opportunity to berate others for not making more money (just get another higher-income job!) or becoming a high-ranking boss like they "are" (lol) and generally lording it over others. This is a chance to portray oneself however you'd like! Narcissism at its finest!
I think many of these posters are not real, have fake personas, and are really 350-lb single mothers stuck in their house on welfare! Or failure-to-launch adult kids living in mom's basement playing video games. LOL. Otherwise, they'd have no time to be checking up on all the less-successful C-D posters! They'd be out livin' la vida loca! (like they pretend to)
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt
What I notice, is these particular posters have to take every single opportunity to berate others for not making more money (just get another higher-income job!) or becoming a high-ranking boss like they "are" (lol) and generally lording it over others. This is a chance to portray oneself however you'd like! Narcissism at its finest!
I think many of these posters are not real, have fake personas, and are really 350-lb single mothers stuck in their house on welfare! Or failure-to-launch adult kids living in mom's basement playing video games. LOL. Otherwise, they'd have no time to be checking up on all the less-successful C-D posters! They'd be out livin' la vida loca! (like they pretend to)
Interesting, and saw an 'anecdote' once, where some Gen Z or Millennial 'splained that a lotta his online persona was often an opportunity to 'act out' his own frustrations with facing 'maturity'.
True, there's no scientific agreement yet re: the basic 'causes'/etiology (whether genetics, environment, parenting, etc.). Though there's strong agreement that being raised in a 'non-nurturing' family with little opportunity to form a separate, and healthy sense of 'identity', certainly doesn't 'help'. And yet even then, some folks become clinical N's, while others might not... so who knows?
But perhaps what MH might be referring to is some of the more recent neurobiology, revealing several key 'factors'... 1.) that there is an actual 'location' for Empathy in the brain... 2.) and that the very earliest stages of infant brain development depend on successful mother/infant 'bonding', in order to become 'hard-wired' (or not). So to some extent, it's true that maybe we shouldn't assign 'blame', although some would argue that we all still have 'accountability' for the 'consequences' of our actions, regardless.
In any case, since clinical Narcissism is generally regarded as a a 'spectrum' behavioral disorder anyway, and we all need some narcissism just to 'survive', the purpose here is less about the 'mechanics' of it, than to ask... Do you think Twenge and others are right, that narcissism is steadily 'increasing' in modern culture.. .all along the 'spectrum' (and do we see a lot of it right here)?
I would say, that the home environment sets up the conditions for narcissism, before anyone's old enough to use social media to feed it. So I wouldn't say, that social media is contributing to any increase in numbers of narcissists, if, in fact, there has been an increase over past generations, which is unknowable. But can social media reinforce it? I suppose so.
People aren't becoming more narcissistic. There have always been people with personality disorders walking around, it's just that most people who suffer from that condition din't get the projection the narcissists of today get, because the internet didn't exist back then, and as such, vehicles like twitter, instagram, facebook etc, couldn't be used by those people to broadcast to the world how messed up these people can be, if they don't get the proper medical care that they need.
Quote:
Originally Posted By Sand&Salt I think many of these posters are not real, have fake personas, and are really 350-lb single mothers stuck in their house on welfare! Or failure-to-launch adult kids living in mom's basement playing video games. LOL. Otherwise, they'd have no time to be checking up on all the less-successful C-D posters! They'd be out livin' la vida loca! (like they pretend to)
Well, that's kinda narccissitic, don't you think, talking about single mothers and about adult kids, as if you're some Tom Brady, Cristiano Ronaldo, or Brad Pitt. Who knows, maybe you are a 25 year old billionaire born in the Brazilian ghetto. Maybe you picked yourself up, learned how to read and write on your own, and built your own fortune from the ground up.
I've met plenty of people around the world with a good job, and the ability to move out of their parents home, but they'd rather stay with their parents, as their parents aren't getting younger, and they themselves aren't interested in getting married, nor are they interested in having kids, and they are going to inherit their parents house anyway, so what would be the point in renting a house from the bank, what people commonly call ''buying'' a house?
I know women in their 50's who are atractive, fit, and natural blondes, and they've been living with their parents since the moment they were born. I know men in their 60s who are living with their parents, after realizing that the only people you are making rich by renting a house is the landlord, and the only person that gets something out of you buying a house is the bank, as you are effectively a slave to the banking system up until the moment the house's tag price is cleared off, and the bank prints you that cute little deed. Nothing like staring at your entire name shining out of a property deed!
So, unless a man or a woman belongs to upper-middle-class, and has money, land, houses, businesess etc to pass on? I don't really see a reason for why someone should leave their parents house, if their parents enjoy having them there, and that goes for young people who are in their early to mid 20s, as it does just the same for people who are middle-aged(30-50) and onwards.
Totally agree. And as to your last paragraph, the two I knew and accidentally married, were NOT happy due to the continual dissatisfaction with everything around them that didn't fall down and worship them as they expected.
No one was good enough for them. My first would accept no friends until fighter pilots moved in next door. They alone were "good enough" for him. The second thought everyone should just hand us money because the expedition we were doing was just "so cool".
They were both brilliant, ambitious, driven, fearless and would take on anything. So I was fooled, until I found out what self-centered jerks they were.
This was way before internet, but they'd be on You-Tube trying to bring in free money if they were still alive today!
I see. I'm sure you've been through the ringer w/ yours! My fiance' has w/ all 5 members of his narc immediate fam & that's why he's gone no-contact w/ them ALL & that's including his own (biological) parents. If he can walk away from his entire family, anyone should be able to if they really want to. And it's NOT like he has plenty of friends or others to support him & take his mind off his fam. He's very solitary like me who's an only child & never had many friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn
Self-absorption, self-centeredness, selfishness, rudeness, greed, not caring, whatever,
are not exactly Narcissism, btw.
Narcissism is about a physical brain abnormality ---synapses not existing, never growing to connect.
Just sayin'. It is quite an education reading up on it. It is incurable.
Also, can be well hidden as the Narcissist learns to adapt ---ex: Buying a birthday present,
cuz the reaction he gets is so pleasing...when really he doesn't care in the least.
A fascinating personality disorder ...and 'it's not their fault'! That's the kicker.
They need sympathy, they were made, it wasn't a choice.
Best thing is to steer clear of one. Imo.
Just some info on them.
Yep, fiance' & I have done narc research too for about the last 3 yrs now. Narcs to be have always been wastes of space on this earth. There's honestly not 1 good, positive thing about them.
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Yep, fiance' & I have done narc research too for about the last 3 yrs now. Narcs to be have always been wastes of space on this earth. There's honestly not 1 good, positive thing about them.
Some can be charming and entertaining, and manage to keep a circle of friends or fans revolving around them. Until eventually, the more mature members of their circle get tired of their abrasive humor or self-absorbed mannerisms, and drift away. There seem to be people out there, though, who have a need to be part of the circle that derives energy or status from the narc's magnetic personality. They don't see the narcissism.
Some can be charming and entertaining, and manage to keep a circle of friends or fans revolving around them. Until eventually, the more mature members of their circle get tired of their abrasive humor or self-absorbed mannerisms, and drift away. There seem to be people out there, though, who have a need to be part of the circle that derives energy or status from the narc's magnetic personality. They don't see the narcissism.
Yep, unfortunately narcs seem to always have their "followers, minions" or whatever you want to call them. These people aren't strong &/or wise enough to see the narcs' vicious mentality & actions. I'd think a regular person should be able to notice it eventually.
I'd say the longest/toughest it would take a person to notice is if it's their OWN family member(s) in which they've known the person since day 1 (the day they were born) so that's all they know of the person & they're used to that behavior of theirs.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Well, if we are becoming a generally more 'narcissistic' culture, perhaps it's true that we've always had the same 'percentages' throughout history, and the online parts are simply some folks' additional social 'personas' enabled by the new technology. Perhaps not totally unlike virtual reality and video games. So maybe always 'selling yourself' is just a necessary evolutionary 'adaptation' these days, at least if online and social media are your 'World'.
Though if so, then it also probably means we'll have less and less shared sense of 'consensus reality' (which we might be seeing already...)!
And otherwise I kinda look at it as just recognizing the potential 'predators' inside today's 'Urban Jungle'... even if there 'seems' to be a bit more of 'em lately.
Last edited by mateo45; 07-28-2021 at 07:24 PM..
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