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LOL. It's just a movie but if it had happened in real life, I hope his drumsticks kept him warm at night. In real life that girl would have been snapped up in a minute by a guy who appreciated her. Which is what happened in the movie.
Tho you’re kind of saying the difference between surviving & living IMO. It’s not like marriage or children are necessary but it’s not a healthy & functioning life for the O.P. to never have been on a date at 30…especially when he is talking about relationships being less important now. Because he never had one.
Not wanting to be in a relationship is optional ofc. Tho never having been on a date for somebody with anxiety who is 30? It’s not fully functioning IMO, since he asked about “normal” up there.^^
Nope I believe him if he has never had sex or even been in love, he would not know what he is missing.
but once someone HAS been in love and HAS had sex then living without it seems bleak as no other experiences compare with that feeling.
Actually I don't think love songs and movies are created to make money, I think the minority of songs and movies that are big hits and make money do so because they make people feel good. The Beatles didn't get into music to become rich or make the record companies rich. They all became rich because people responded deeply to those songs and those songs lifted their spirits and made them feel good. The desire for love songs and movies was already there, those romantic songs and movies that became big hits just tapped into it. Novels with romantic themes were widely read before movies and recorded music were even invented.
I am a great Beatles fan with a strong preference towards 1965-1970 when they broadened their scope beyond teenage love affairs and began to write about other ideas and experiences. I think of Revolver as thirteen great songs and Here There And Everywhere, which I find so cloyingly sentimental it makes me feel ill.
I feel the same way about love songs outside the Lennon/McCartney catalogue. Journey were and are brilliant musicians and composers, but the moment Perry starts to warble about blubbering, adolescent schoolgirl mush, I have to turn them off.
Romantic movies, or even romantic elements in books or movies I'm otherwise enjoying? Ditto. Leave the boy meets girl stuff on the cutting room floor and get on with solving the murders or saving the world. Will they or won't they? Don't know, don't care.
Nope I believe him if he has never had sex or even been in love, he would not know what he is missing.
but once someone HAS been in love and HAS had sex then living without it seems bleak as no other experiences compare with that feeling.
Not true.
*I* HAVE been in love and *I* HAVE had sex, many times over, WHILE in love. So have a number of other people.
Living without it isn't 'bleak' at all for me. I am quite happy without it.
*I* HAVE been in love and *I* HAVE had sex, many times over, WHILE in love. So have a number of other people.
Living without it isn't 'bleak' at all for me. I am quite happy without it.
And that makes me wonder whether you felt it or were going through the motions with a "Meh that's kinda nice" level of enjoyment.
Because when I am in love and it's being reciprocated(on an equal level), it's like all my senses wake up and I did not know they were sleeping. and other things that would normally bother me or cause stress don't bother me, things I enjoy alone I enjoy 100x's more doing with a romantic partner who shares the same interest.
And that makes me wonder whether you felt it or were going through the motions with a "Meh that's kinda nice" level of enjoyment.
That's how I experience everything in life. I am always in my head observing rather than engaging fully with the moment. There's no way I can change this, nor do I wish to.
To quote Porcupine Tree, 'sex is kinda fun, but just another one of all the empty ways of using up a day.'
To that end, it doesn't matter if someone else is there or not.
You have to replace the distorted images you get from other ppl or movies with your own realistic expectations & boundaries.
That sounds like a lot of trial and error, and entirely too much hard work. If you consider it worth doing, and part of what you need to tick the boxes for a 'normal' life, best of luck to you. I'll be over here enjoying my far less complicated version of normal.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,606,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChileSauceCritic
Nope I believe him if he has never had sex or even been in love, he would not know what he is missing.
But O.P. said he has never even had a date at 30 AND he has anxiety. That’s not a totally functional or healthy life. He has never had a relationship to know if it’s important to him or not. IMO it kind of sounds like he is telling himself that to calm his anxiety or fear about just dating or what he is missing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76
That sounds like a lot of trial and error, and entirely too much hard work.
IMO dating wasn’t work…it’s meant to be fun & social, even if a long term relationship isn’t important to you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
IMO dating wasn’t work…it’s meant to be fun & social.
That's the thing. Being social is very hard work for me, especially as I get older. I can put on my game face and fake my way through it when I have to, but it's not fun. I can't do small talk and I'm not up to date with pop culture at all.
I'm only able to relax and be myself when I'm reading, writing, listening to music or watching movies. Usually on my own.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,606,137 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by scribbles76
Being social is very hard work for me, especially as I get older. I can put on my game face and fake my way through it when I have to, but it's not fun. I can't do small talk and I'm not up to date with pop culture at all.
But that’s super different than the O.P. who is 30, suffers from anxiety & has never been on a date.^^
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