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Just the opposite reaction for others when they are dumped. Go on an eating Frenzy and eat everything in sight. Feelings? That's it. They love to eat, so they just eat when they feel bad because they were dumped. It's only a natural human behavior. That is one area people go through when they are let down.
Well move on with your life. Start a new hobby. delete all past communication between your ex and your ex lover. Yes you stuffed up and you know the steps to do to prevent this from happening again as you learn through experience.
You can't cheat on someone who was never committed to you in the first place. Be glad you are rid of those two fly boys. You learned early how it can be and often is. Value yourself first and foremost. Refuse to settle. If it takes years, so what? Better than being with selfish opportunistic bozos.
I went through a lot at first and had a tumultuous start. He started a business when we were very young and eventually devoted himself entirely to the business. He never stayed with me, I never went out and all he did was be careful with that business. I had a lot of discussions on this side and he explained to me that he can't leave his business and that every moment is precious for he to grow.
He is not a bad person at all, he is a very good man. He respected me all the time but I felt very alone with him. He made it clear to me that he would never be able to be as devoted as I wanted him to be. It seemed like I wanted too much but I just wanted to spend time together as a couple ... going on vacation and going out from time to time. He could never offer me that and I always waited for him to come home from work every night and we didn't do anything together.
One day I met someone online (we had known each other for many years through mutual friends) and I totally fell in love. This boy was funny and he seemed to be able to give me what I wanted. I started talking to him and I fell in love and then I told the current one that I want to move. In the 3 weeks I waited to move, I always talked to the other boy. Long story short, I moved in and argued a lot with boy B. I found out he was actually a psychopath and he tried to hurt me. He wrote to my ex and showed him everything I did, conversations and absolutely everything. Now I feel horrible, my ex doesn't want to hear from me anymore and he really hates me. I don't know what else to do, I can't sleep, I can't eat because I'm guilty. All the memories with my ex press me and I keep thinking that I was a horrible person. What can I do?
I hope you return OP. I agree w/ the others. You dump them BOTH & start fresh. I'd never want to stay in contact w/ either of them ever again for any reason & you shouldn't want to either.
You rid yourself of that guilt. They weren't good guys. So you've (hopefully) learned from your dealings w/ them & move on & don't repeat the same mistakes. You have no need to feel guilty forever.
I disagree. I think you may have thought your first boyfriend was looking for the same things in a relationship as you were and sadly, he wasn't. In my opinion, this does not make you a bad person, even if eventually you looked for love elsewhere. Why wouldn't you? The things you describe wanting to do with your partner are things most folks would want to do with someone they loved. I think you might consider accepting that things didn't work out as you hoped and after you grieve your losses, try to reflect on what you may have done differently. Certainly, there are a multitude of things that other people might suggest you should have done, but the fact is that they are not you and you are unique, as we all are. So treat yourself with compassion and kindness (as you might treat a trusted friend who had a similar experience), forgive yourself and try to learn from this experience as you move forward in your life. I wish you only the best.
Guy #1 shouldn't have been surprised at all that you looked elsewhere. What else would he expect after the way he treated you for all those years? He had you so intimidated and co-dependent that he probably knew you wouldn't look elsewhere until you got so fed up that you finally took action. You did this subconsciously, in my opinion, because you were actually looking to get out of the relationship. Instead of cutting the cords up front entirely, you sought comfort and good attention for a change. It happened to be with the wrong person and that's not a transgression you should feel guilty for.
Also, keeping Guy #1 on the string, however tenuous that relationship was, is probably something you feel guilty about. But why? The guy was never committed to you. He was actually using you.
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