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Do I want to be in a long term serious relationship? Absolutely
But here's the thing
First and foremost, dating is really a **** show nowadays, in fact one could argue more dating constraints have been added due to the hypercompetivity of the dating world
2nd of all, I am still trying to work on establishing myself as a person, I really am. Otherwise I would not abscribe myself to the philosophy of self actualization
3rd, is kinda a personal dilemma. On one hand even if you're comfortable with being single at the moment there's the biological imperative to get intimate and affectionate with someone, on the other hand there's the moral and societal obligation to be in a relationship, even if you're having trouble navigating the dating scene as it is. However, you want to be self assured before getting into one and not to mention for someone like me who didn't get the opportunity to develop a healthy social life for themselves due to all the handicaps that I been put thru in my youth, it doesn't seem fair so now if I want to even explore my options I have to actually do serious relationships since I am no longer in grade school and then society tries hard to make you feel worthless about being single
That being said I am sorta trying to hit my shot still with someone from work
One thing for sure is that I want a low key relationship, not a secret one, but a private one with low key hints of being taken, if the relationship status advances from there on that is
Sorry if I am all over the place, thing is I been having a mental rut about this lately because of both the biological and societal pressure to be in a relationship
And one last thing
Relationships look so fast paced nowadays, what happened to actually seeing if the 2 people are compatible? What happened to people actually waiting to earn their intimacy? That and they look very fake, very fabricated, very superficial, very substance-lacking if you will
Oh and then the commercialization of romance doesn't help either, turning love into a commodity with all these flashy advertisements about anything love related, which is why Valentine's Day still sells like hot cakes as a holiday
Another post I am sorry, mods don't delete the double posts just go ahead and emerge them if you must, but I really am trying to write as much as possible so that people can get the bigger picture
Another thing that really irritates me is how most people seem to only date for that social status gain, they don't date with a true purpose it seems. This is where that feeling of inadequacy gets reinforced and got only worse with the introduction of the internet, social media and the web. Because social media puts a strain on people's physiques and self-presentations if you will about where they are at in society. That short social status gain and the high from the early stages of the relationship, which adds to this other question, what is the point of dating if it is all gonna be temporary? What is the point of dating if I have to make it my whole identity around social media and my circles? What is the point of dating if there's gonna be to it is the toying around?
And keep in mind I am only 20 years old
You are over thinking it. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks you should be doing as far as relationships go. You are only 20. You should be casually dating. If it goes somewhere, fine. If not, that's fine, too.
You are over thinking it. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks you should be doing as far as relationships go. You are only 20. You should be casually dating. If it goes somewhere, fine. If not, that's fine, too.
Yeah I know, but I still don't like how people kinda treat you all insignificant about it
Breaking this to you as gently as I can: most people don’t much care about you or your status of singlehood. This is likely maddening and a relief, but it is true.
The amount of condescending looks I will always get in public spaces still to this day for always being alone in any given venue is insane lol
You have GOT to be kidding. You imagine that people are looking down on you for not having another person accompanying you...at the grocery store? At work? At the gym? In your car?
You sure that's what's happening here?
So...Would you expect your girlfriend to go everywhere with you when you finally "get" one? That's absurd.
The only solution for you seems to be hiring a 24/7 entourage so you can stop worrying about strangers judging you. Alternatively, you could recognize that people are probably not as interested in you as you imagine.
Breaking this to you as gently as I can: most people don’t much care about you or your status of singlehood. This is likely maddening and a relief, but it is true.
More like about my general social status, not even the status of singlehood tbh.
You have GOT to be kidding. You imagine that people are looking down on you for not having another person accompanying you...at the grocery store? At work? At the gym? In your car?
You sure that's what's happening here?
So...Would you expect your girlfriend to go everywhere with you when you finally "get" one? That's absurd.
The only solution for you seems to be hiring a 24/7 entourage so you can stop worrying about strangers judging you. Alternatively, you could recognize that people are probably not as interested in you as you imagine.
Maybe
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