Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do, but there aren't many people interested to have a deep conversation.
Most want a light chit-chat about nothing.
I very much do. People who can be trusted with deep conversations though are few and far between. It is far easier if those people are outside of your immediate circles. Another poster wrote that there are a number of necessary functions in friendship:
Friends that support their goals and dreams; and
who lift you up when you need to be lifted up;
To that I would add ones who render unstinting, critical solid advice, see Another Take on Frank Advice. That, almost by necessity comes from people who are outside of day to day contact in an educational or employment setting. The problem is that "deep conversations with friends" are often very personal. As great as any person might be at keeping a confidence, total trust is very hard outside a marriage, or outside of isolation of the relationships involving deep conversations from the risk of violation of privacy.
To me, deep conversations involve feelings that one doesn't express, belief in G-d, and attitudes toward life and death. Those are difficult conversations to have. They are very rewarding when they are possible.
Seems to me a person should be able to converse at multiple levels.
This.
There is a time to move forward because you trust the decisions your friends are making without analyzing them. Then there is a time to ask why they made the choice they did. People often like to share their creativity.
I used to enjoy them in my 20s and 30s with various friends or co-workers. Now in my 50s, I have fewer friends and fewer conversations with them more than talking about family or the weather. If I could stay in my room all day and not speak to anyone ever, I would.
I very much enjoy them, but these days find very few people who can and are willing to do so. In college people seemed much more willing to delve deeply into various topics. Now those people are hard to find. Too many can't think beyond a Twitter stream.
Even in technical/managerial descision level discussions. We went from well researched white papers to bullet papers to now the Botton line up front with no discussion of the details. The result is more short-term thinking and poor decisions.
Every now & then you run across a female motorhead. That's always interesting. If she starts talking about what's in the block alone, it's a match made in heaven !
But really as long as it's not politics, I'll talk about anything.
I do, but there aren't many people interested to have a deep conversation.
Most want a light chit-chat about nothing.
This. I think deep conversations make many people uncomfortable. You have to be willing to be vulnerable and open to connect with others on a deeper level. Some aren't comfortable with that and others are overwhelmed by it; so chit-chat about nothing is safer.
I'm fortunate to have one friend that I can have deep conversations with. I met her through work years ago and though we both moved on, our friendship grew. I can count on her to be candid with me, even if I disagree with her. She's blunt and honest, which may turn some people off, but I always know where I stand with her. I've told her she's the sister I never had.
This. I think deep conversations make many people uncomfortable. You have to be willing to be vulnerable and open to connect with others on a deeper level. Some aren't comfortable with that and others are overwhelmed by it; so chit-chat about nothing is safer.
I'm fortunate to have one friend that I can have deep conversations with. I met her through work years ago and though we both moved on, our friendship grew. I can count on her to be candid with me, even if I disagree with her. She's blunt and honest, which may turn some people off, but I always know where I stand with her. I've told her she's the sister I never had.
I think that many people have nothing to say. They repeat what they read on social media, even stupid stuff.
They want to keep talk light. They want to read tabloids, watch sitcoms or reality shows, post lol cats. Somehow they appear less curious. Or maybe they just have no time to spare, being on the run to work more to spend more. Time is money, and deep talk is a waste of that time when a buck could be made...
Also, people are too afraid to have own opinion, just because they don't want to upset anyone. So, honesty is pretty rare nowadays.
I do like to talk about politics, or religion, or psychology, world events, or other things people now find uncomfortable and not PC.
Also, people are too afraid to have own opinion, just because they don't want to upset anyone.
There is a lot of that right now. It's more than just not wanting to upset anyone, say the 'wrong' thing (whatever that may be) and you become a social outcast that must be silenced. Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that. People are more guarded, that's for sure.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
