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No. I use it sparingly, so it retains it's meaning. My love is shown by my action not so much by the words.
I make people FEEL that I love them. Those people don't need to HEAR it to be reassured.
In my opinion, people should stop saying the L word if they don't REALLY feel it. "Love" is one of the most abused word in American dictionary. It is used so loosely that its meaning became diluted.
Not to mention that many people say "I love you" because they think it's a proper thing to say, or that they are expected to say it, but deep in their heart, they don't really mean it, at least at that moment.
Or confuse love and infatuation, or lust...
We "love" everything... like saying "I like" isn't enough? We seem not to differentiate those feelings.
The same word "love" is used to say - I love this purse, I love this house, I love roses, I love red wine etc... and then we try to say "I love you" to people we have emotional connection and deep feeling for.
You see what I mean? There is a variety of words that could substitute the word "love" for those things, so the word "love" directed to your love ones can hold the meaning.
How many times I see people saying: "luv ya" while already thinking and doing something else, not even making an eye contact when in person. It's became just a buzz word, no?
So, to me - when said sparingly it catches attention, shows an intense feeling of deep affection.
No, I don't say it all the time. I don't end every phone call with "I love you", no. I've listened to other people doing that and it sounds so cheap and trite to me. People who have fond feelings and affection for someone and think this is "love" seem to be missing the real meaning of it. Love is not just a fond feeling or affection. Love for me is something deeper than this.
I wasn’t raised in an I Love You saying family. Stoic Swede/English, New England folks. That doesn’t mean we weren’t loved, or didn’t feel loved.
My husband says I love you all the time, and I respond, of course, but really, I haven’t much use for constantly regurgitating the words.
All I can say is that if you truly love someone, I believe you should tell them - as often as you both like. I am eternally grateful - ETERNALLY - that those were the last words spoken between the people I've loved and lost, and me.
No regrets.
You know, there are different love languages so to speak. Different styles. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. In my opinion, the best way to reach a person is through their own love language. But it's also very helpful to know what their particular way of expressing their love for you is as well. For instance, my two are words of affirmation and quality time. My husband's two were words of affirmation and acts of service. So he and I were well matched in one way, which is why we always told each other that we loved each other, because we did and we reached the other person best that way. But he'd also get my oil changed for me, or whatever, and I'd also carve out a lot of time to spend with him. But if I REALLY wanted to reach him, not only would I tell him how I was feeling, but I'd also do something extra special for him. And my best memories of us together were when we were just hanging out together, doing the simplest things or maybe doing nothing - but together.
Also, we noticed over time that if we were irritated with each other, he didn't want to do things for me, and I didn't want to hang out with him. So it does go both ways.
For the record, he was Irish originally, I am Scottish and English originally - but we were both from Louisiana roots and the southern states. Both our ancestors had been in the US for many, many generations, hundreds of years, BEFORE it was the United States. I don't know if that has anything to do with anything but there it is. And for both our parents, the written and spoken word were both very important means of communication and ways we connected. We both come from very eloquent and verbose families.
Anyway, like I said, since words of affirmation was a huge thing for both of us, we said "I love you," to each other often, and we meant it every time, and it meant the world to both of us to hear it from the other. Every single day, often several times that day. That was just us. But I loved it every single time and like I've said, I've had great comfort over the months knowing that was the last thing we said to each other.
I wasn’t raised in an I Love You saying family. Stoic Swede/English, New England folks. That doesn’t mean we weren’t loved, or didn’t feel loved.
My husband says I love you all the time, and I respond, of course, but really, I haven’t much use for constantly regurgitating the words.
You stole my "stoic Swede" line!
That's exactly how I was raised---non-emotional, non-affirming but we knew we were loved. Just didn't hear it.
Husband and I used to say it when one was leaving for work, or ending a phone conversation. But now retired, there's no set "occasion", lol. No phones and no work.
I guess we kind of save it for special occasions.
Sweet story about OCN's hearing it from her nursing home patients. When I was working in a group home for Down's Syndrome girls, they would say it to me every day coming on shift. That was so touching.
I agree that it's become something often said without thought or meaning. Somehow "love you, bye" has become, in some people's minds, the way to end a phone conversation.
I was on the phone at work with someone I didn't know from Adam and she ended the conversation with "love you". That sign off had become automatic and meaningless.
Also, at that workplace I had two different people jump on me after hearing me on the phone telling my husband " bye". "you didn't say " love you".
Thanks Bentonite, you are lovely as well. On the flipside, I happen to know people who dont like being told ILU. They go like "Yeah, whatever" I think thats so sad, but to each his /her own. I only say ILU if I really mean it. Actually I say it with my heart involved. IDK if that makes sense.
It makes perfect sense!
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